My daughter is home 24/7 and I'm starting to struggle

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Parent Peer Supporter

My daughter is home 24/7 and I'm starting to struggle

My daughter's been home from school for just over 2 years now. She finally started distance education in 4th term of last year. She lives mostly in the dark in her grotty, smelly room (except for today - she had a spider crawl on her and opened the curtains and started cleaning!). She pops out at regular intervals to tell me things, and I've started getting frustrated because I can't concentrate (like now). She starts talking as soon as she leaves her room, expecting me to drop everything and listen. She's naturally picking up on my annoyance. I've tried to talk to her and explain that I need my time, to no avail. There is no time for anything me. I should be pleased because she only used to leave her room for the bathroom or food. 

 

Last week I put together a timetable where there were hours I wasn't available, so I could get my work done. My daughter has impulse thoughts and will interrupt to tell me before she forgets, so I gave her a notebook and a pen to write them down during these times, so she would remember what she wanted to tell me in the times I'm all hers. It worked well for a number of days, but the last two days, back to same old, same old. She won't use the notebook, and is now just saying, 'yeah I know, sorry, I know it's work time but...' 

 

One of my times is once I go into my room at night (usually around 10.30-11pm). Last night I heard her come out of her room, and thought she was going to the bathroom. It was late. Nup. My door swings open and she yells 'CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY!!!!' 

She'd remembered the name of the other movie that a young actor was in that we'd been talking about. 

 

Does anyone have any other suggestions? I really need time where I can turn off during the day - and remain awake and be productive Smiley Frustrated

 

 

Super contributor

Re: My daughter is home 24/7 and I'm starting to struggle

What about a working hub @taokat ?

It means you have to leave the house but they can be great for parents who have study or work to do and need to get away from kids / teens.

 

Unfortunately, my kids are like your daughter, pretty severe lack of boundaries so I'm not very practiced at getting my kids to respect my personal space.

 

Would love to hear from others @Lily17  @motherbear  @Zoesplace and @Beingme2017 @Chalke5 spring to mind. Any tips?

Parent Peer Supporter

Re: My daughter is home 24/7 and I'm starting to struggle

That's a good idea @Ngaio-RO. I'll have a look and see what's around. 

 

It makes me laugh because I knock twice before I go into her room, and I know immediately by the look given what my next move is - usually that is to leave quietly! She hasn't got the lesson though. 

 

 

 

 

Parent Peer Supporter

Re: My daughter is home 24/7 and I'm starting to struggle

Gosh that's a tough one @taokat  Everyone needs their own space and it sounds like you have none at the moment. Must be challenging trying to get your work done. Would be interested to see what you find out about @Ngaio-RO suggestion about the working hub - I have not heard of this before?   

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Parent Peer Supporter

Re: My daughter is home 24/7 and I'm starting to struggle

Thank you for your reply @Zoesplace. It's not normal for two people to spend so much time together like we do, and my daughter requires a lot of energy, even in her good moods. 

 

I found one local 'hub' but it's once a month for businesses to catch up on admin. Apart from that I can't find anything that's not like a rent-a-space kind of thing. 

 

I think I might just have to persist in trying to enforce my timetable. 4 more months and she can apply for her nursing course, so fingers crossed for us both she gets in!