Re: Pansexual

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Casual scribe

Re: Pansexual

Thank you so much for getting back to me. My daughter is an only child and we live in the mountains so not many neighbors. I make sure she has play dates with her friends every weekend, but it still allows her way too much time alone in her room on the internet. She started her period 3 months ago and she changed over night. I am definitely going to limit her iPad time and monitor it more closely. While at the same time, try not to make her angry. She is just how you described, everything is an obsession. First it was baby alives, then American Girl dolls, then she wanted to be a ventriloquist... we have indulged her every whim. Since she was a 2lb. Preemie and we live kinda isolated, she has never wanted for anything ever. She has been crazy spoiled. However, she always seems like she is grabbing at straws and nothing is ever enough. Now it’s this.... I assume it’s a phase too. I honestly don’t care what she chooses to be, but at 11 I feel it’s way to young to be making such a stand. She has always been over the top boy crazy since preschool. She always had to have a boyfriend. Almost inappropriately so. We had her hormones tested at 6 yrs old because she was getting pubic hair. Her testosterone levels were crazy high. We had her tested again at 8 and everything was within normal range. She doesn’t have any medical issues except when she was 5 she got lost in Kmart for 5 mins and her anxiety was so bad after that she had to go to a therapist. She saw the therapist all summer before starting kindergarten and has been able to manage her anxiety since. She did have an anxiety relapse this summer when we tried to put her in a day summer camp(not over night) just while her Dad and I worked during the day. We usually have a nanny during the summer but this past summer we decided she needed to be with other kids. Her anxiety stemmed mostly from not getting her way. We did have her talk to the therapist again about this during the summer. I remember the summer before last her trying to plan her future with needing to find a husband and any little boy who came over she tried to tell them about wanting to get married and have kids. It wasn’t sexual, just her needing to be secure(?). Her Dad and I have a great relationship, we are both very hands on and involved. I just think she is trying to get attention anyway she can. We are not homophobic in anyway. My brother who I am super close with is gay. He lives in San Francisco with his husband and they have been out to visit us several times and their sexuality is no secret. I am not sure where I am going with all of this. Hahahahaha I just want to do the right thing as a parent and sometimes it feels like there is no right answer. I am also fearful that she is telling her classmates about her new found sexuality and I know for a fact they won’t have any idea what she is talking about. And I worry that if it gets back to their parents, she won’t be allowed to play with them anymore. She still doesn’t understand what appropriate behavior is and when I try to tell her, I “just don’t get it. “ she says. I do know that I don’t want her talking to people on the internet about this because I bet none of them are 11 years old. Thanks for listening Smiley Happy.
Community Manager

Re: Pansexual

Hey there @CSculptor,
Thanks for giving us an update Smiley Happy You've given some fabulous advice on how to approach the situation. Have you spoken to your daughter about how she's going with her anxiety and therapy-wise?

 

@DeerPark_123 thank you for sharing your story with us Smiley Happy It sounds like you are a wonderful and supportive parent to your daughter. It can definitely be difficult to have these conversations with your kids, especially when they're young. It's fantastic that you want to do the right thing, but it's true that sometimes there's no one right way to handle things. Do you think having someone else talk to your daughter about these things might be helpful? It's unfortunate that conversations with her aren't going well but perhaps having someone else talk to her might help her understand. What do you think?