Son is lonely

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Active scribe

Re: Son is lonely

Hey @johnerrific
My heart broker reading about your son. My daughter said the same to me and I would of honesty paid kids to be her friend just to stop it happening. Although things are far from perfect I tried to normalise things so she didnt take it all so personally. I told her that school was and is a difficult time for many people and that it was no reflection on her.
Definately go to the school and see what is happening there as kids can be really cruel and teachers are really not well equipped to pick up on things like this. Check to see if they have a welfare officer and if they have any services for the kids. The welfare officer helped me with my daughter and tried to link her with other like minded girls. Its not easy at all and school isnt always the answer for all kids. My nephew who lives with me had behaviour problems and the teachers were terrible to him. He left school and started an apprenticeship and when things were bad at home he came to stay with me for a break as his relationship with his parents was toxic. Since here he is a different person. So do things with him..get him to teach you his games..join in with him and show interest. Some Youth Groups have kids that love those games and they have get togethers for gamers..maybe he would connect with other like minded kids. Dont give up as you sound like loving great parents. I hope all goes well for you and that your son will find a connection soon.
Lee
Community Manager

Re: Son is lonely

Hey there @dont-lose-hope, thanks for your thoughtful response and practical tips. Great to have you here!!

Community Manager

Re: Son is lonely

Hi @johneriffic, how has your son been doing lately? Have you been able to get much from the school or apply any of the ideas mentioned? Would love to hear how it's going for your family

Prolific scribe

Re: Son is lonely

We are going through this with our 15 yr old son but he hasnt actually said that he is lonely..I know from his teachers. I know exactly how you feel. My boy is very sensitive and quiet and not a fit for the school system. Je says the kids are pretty loud in his school and act stupid. He says they pretend to be cool but he sees through it. He much prefers his quiet dark room after school... I feel so sad for him and your son too!
Super contributor

Re: Son is lonely

Hi @johneriffic

 

How are things with your son? Any improvement with his school situation?

Casual scribe

Re: Son is lonely

My son is in the same predicament. My son is 13 and plays video games also. I'm So desperate to help that I'm thinking about adopting a bit his age...ugh
Casual scribe

Re: Son is lonely

What did you do to fix the situation? Thanks
Super contributor

Re: Son is lonely

Hi  @wilsntomas302
Welcome to ReachOut Parents! I'm so sorry to hear what your son is going through.
We'd love you to share your story. Please click on the link below,  it will take you to where you can start a new topic. That way you'll get lots of replies and support.

https://forums.parents.au.reachout.com/t5/forums/postpage/board-id/Discussconcerns

Please ask if you have any questions.

Parent Peer Supporter

Re: Son is lonely

Hi @johneriffic, my heart goes out to your son, but also to you and your wife. I've had similar issues with my daughter who struggled so much socially at school, and the school even told me on one occasion I'd met with them after she was being bullied, that she needed to toughen up. NOT ok!

 

She is now educated via distance education as she refused to attend school last year due to the issues she was having there. So we don't have the social problems, but she is lonely as she doesn't often see the one friend who still keeps in contact with her.

 

I completely get that want to fix everything and make it better. My girl used to be happy, confident and outgoing, and I wish so much I could give that back to her! So I agree that all we can do is love them and be there to listen and support, as others have said, but just wanted to let you know you are not alone in how you are feeling as parents. I've had to take a step back and understand that this is my daughter's journey that she needs to figure things out, but I'm always there to celebrate the happy times, and there to support her through her struggles.

 

Your son is so lucky to have such loving and caring parents behind him. It may not feel like it at times, but that is the most important thing he needs to help him through these rough years.  

 

I think it was @Sophi-RO who said she didn't believe there was nothing more that can be done, and I believe that wholeheartedly as well. It might take some fails, but there is always help available. No teenager is beyond help! I put myself in your shoes, and to hear there is nothing more to be done must've been extremely upsetting and worrying, and would've made me feel quite helpless - only adding to already existing worry! There IS help and support, don't ever believe otherwise. 

 

Best of luck with suggestions given here. Please keep in touch because if one suggestion doesn't work so well, there will be others that do. 

 

  

Super contributor

Re: Son is lonely

Hey @dont-lose-hope and @hippychick How did things work out for you guys?