Son is lonely

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Parent Peer Supporter

Re: Son is lonely

Hey @wilsntomas302, I relate to your thought of adopting! I have an only child and she wishes she had siblings (and so do I! Just didn't work out that way). I contemplated that idea as well but feared what would happen if they didn't get along. We're searching for a solution, we just want to make our kids happy again!

 

Have a read of my previous response and see if any of that sits okay with you. It's such a hard place to be, watching our kids taking a different path to what society says is the norm. And if they're struggling in life it makes it even harder to see as a parent.

 

Let us know how things are going for your son. You've come to a community of loving parents, who care about each others situations too Smiley Happy  

Scribe

Re: Son is lonely

Hello! I was once in his position and I know what it is like. I'm 18 years old now. What I found to help was I found a group to be in that had fan base around my age. I got into fishing and a thing called the "furry fandom". With fishing I was able to have a good time with kids around my age and we were outdoors while doing it! And the furry fandom gave me tons of people to talk to and friends! So try to find something has interested in! I hope your little dude does good.
Active scribe

Re: Son is lonely

Hi, my son is 15 and since last year, ( his first year in high school) he says the same things about the kids in school. They talk all cool and stuff. They are annoying . He hates school so much that he asked if he could quit. He has no friends after school or on weekends. He plays baseball but doesn’t deal with those boys beyond Baseball. He does enjoy being with us and doing things .. dinner, vacations and other things. But I wonder if that’s healthy and normal for a boy his age. Last year he had an incident with a boy billing him. The school took care of it. We are so worried and sad over this.
How is everything with your son? He sounds a lot like mine.
Parent Peer Supporter

Re: Son is lonely

Hi @Ilovemichael

 

That sounds like its a tough situation for your son. Great that he enjoys family time (the irony is that I have posted about my teens HATING family time) .....

 

Just to clarify what happened with another boy at school last year? Was that a typo or if not what is billing?

 

Does he have online friends? I know that my son who doesn't really fit in easily with a lot of other kids has many online friends that of course are not the same but certainly fulfil a lot of the social needs we have as humans. And maybe if any of those online friends have similar interests and don't live too far away they could even meet up ? (Once the person is thoroughly checked out that they are who they are of course).

 

It is worrying when our teens are not comfortable in social groups, we just want to see them happy - but also some people are more introverted and gain their energy from their own company - or are just less socially geared than others. He may be like that all his life with a  couple of close friends, or it may be a stage he is going through (and boy do our teens go through every stage imaginable and then some!)

 

Either way he clearly has a loving family and lots of support there which is wonderful - so I reckon keep him aware of his strengths, stay connected with him and he will work it out

Active scribe

Re: Son is lonely

Wow, my son says the same exact things about the kids in school, that your son says. He had a couple of friends ((even the boy across the street) But suddenly they don’t bother with each other. This gives me so many questions. Like what went wrong.
Parent Peer Supporter

Re: Son is lonely

hi @Ilovemichael

 

our kids are changing so much at the moment that its hard to keep up with friends and friends groups sometimes.

 

Maybe the kid in the street started being friends with people your son didn't like? Or spent more time in sport? Hard to know isn't it. My daughter who is 16 is worried as her large friend group (very different to my son) is breaking into smaller groups as some try alcohol, hanging out in parks etc, others into other things, more are in relationships. Change - not easy to navigate with everything else going on in their world

 

Would he open up if you chatted to him about for example the boy in the street. Maybe start talking about the street etc and casually ask have you seen him lately? Often those conversations are good for the car when you aren't face to face haha

Active scribe

Re: Son is lonely

Hi, yes I did say bullying.
There was a few times this one boy said mean things to him and even threw a soccer ball at him full force in front of the gym teacher. That’s the reason it was resolved so quickly.
Active scribe

Re: Son is lonely

My daughter who is 13 also had a larger group of friends last school year then this year.
A lot of drama with girls.

As far as my son. One of his good grammar school friends offered him weed ( as they call it now ) last year and my son Said no. The kid called my son a **bleep** . This turned my son off. That’s another friend he lost.
Active scribe

Re: Son is lonely

My daughter who is 13 also had a larger group of friends last school year then this year.
A lot of drama with girls.

As far as my son. One of his good grammar school friends offered him weed ( as they call it now ) last year and my son said no. The kid called my son a **bleep** . This turned my son off. That’s another friend he lost.
Scribe

Re: Son is lonely

My son is 16 this month.Whilst he has friends at school.He has no one to hang out with after school or during school holidays.He tells me he feels very lonely and it breaks my heart.