Hi @Motherofteen thank you for sharing with us and we're glad you are finding comfort from the forum posts, you are not alone  I'm sorry to hear your daughter is going through a really difficult time with her mental health and trying to connect with people. I'm wondering if she has tried any local helplines that can provide counselling support on the phone or via web chat? I can see you are based overseas and just wanted to advise the resources available here are Australian based but you may find the articles available helpful.   It sounds like a challenging and scary time for you and you mentioned being on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Self-care is key during this difficult time, what are some ways you can look after yourself? We're here to listen and support you.   ... View more

Hi @DJ626 welcome to ReachOut and thank you for sharing. I'm sorry to hear about your concerns regarding your son's marijuana use, it sounds very difficult. It's unfortunate to hear that the doctor's appointment wasn't effective or helpful, that must have been frustrating for you. I can see that you are based overseas and just wanted to advise that the resources available on here are Australian based. However you may find some of the articles available helpful.   I'm wondering if there are any online or local supports available where you are based? Does the school have a counsellor that he could speak to that may know of some local supports? You are most welcome to start a new thread topic which will allow other members to see your post and provide further advice and support. We're here to listen  ... View more

Hi @Walkie thanks for the information. I think if you explained it to them as you have here then they would hopefully understand. There's not really a clear cut answer as it depends on the individual as to how they will respond or react. Being as clear as possible and explaining the reasons why will assist with any feelings of disappointment. Hope this helps.  ... View more

Hi @Dad4good glad to hear that writing this out is helping, we're here to listen Sounds like that was quite the dilemma and I agree with you that needing to get that address overshadowed the other options. During times when I'm stuck or feel like there's no right answer I tend to go with my gut, assess the situation and logic often prevails. I'm going to tag some of our members for some further support and advice @taokat @sunflowermom @compassion @Helpful_Mum ... View more

HI @Walkie welcome to ReachOut and thank you for your question  I guess it depends on the situation and what's involved. Could you please provide a bit more information?  ... View more

@Dad4good thank you for sharing your experience with us. I'm sorry to hear of the struggle you've had with your son, it must have been very isolating when no one was able to intervene during those three months. How are things going for you currently? We're here to listen and support you  ... View more

Hi @lizard0812 I'm sorry to hear that things are spiralling out of control, it sounds like an incredibly difficult time for you and your family. I can only imagine the frustration of trying to get help but then being put on a wait list for months. @Taylor-RO's suggestion of contacting some local helplines would be a good option in terms of support during times of crisis. Lifeline also provide crisis support chat or you can call them. Do let us know how you go with Headspace, we're here for you  ... View more

Hi @Eriamb thanks for sharing with us. It's great that you allow your daughter to express herself I'm sure she appreciates it  In terms of suggestions of how to get her to open up, that's a great question. Do you have any one-to-one time together which would encourage more time to chat? Or is she someone that perhaps prefers texting than chatting in person? Teenagers tend to like to text particularly if it's things they are uncomfortable talking about in person and provides an open line of communication at the very least. I'm going to tag some of our members for further advice on this @sunflowermom @Schooner @compassion @Moggy3kids ... View more

Hi @sunflowermom you are doing an incredible job! I can only imagine how scary that must of been seeing her crying with panic attacks. It's great to hear that she is starting Trauma group tomorrow and that it was her idea to dive into it. That takes a lot of strength and courage. Stay strong, we are here for you  ... View more

Hi @Skyblue welcome to ReachOut and thank you for sharing. I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling with your daughter's behaviour, it sounds like a very difficult time. Teenage years can definitely be trying times and even harder when drugs are involved. I'm wondering what supports you have in place and if your daughter would be willing to see a counsellor? Perhaps there is one at her school that she could talk to? I can see that you are located outside of Australia so I just wanted to advise that the resources on the forum are Australian based. I am going to tag some of our members for further support @Schooner @taokat @sunflowermom @motherbear We're here for you  ... View more

Hi @lizard0812 I'm sorry to hear of your struggle, it sounds like an extremely difficult time. It's good to hear that you are able to talk to some friends who are able to provide support. I hope the conference next week goes well and that you are able to get some further support and strategies to assist your son. Just a quick note I've edited your post to include the @ symbol in front of username you have mentioned which allows you to tag members in your post and they'll also receive a notification. We're here for you  ... View more

Hi @Sam251 welcome to ReachOut and thank you for sharing. I'm sorry to hear that you are having a difficult time with your daughter. It sounds like she is struggling with loneliness and making friends at school. It must have been very hard to have found out that she had lied about a family member having cancer. I'm wondering if she could speak to a school counsellor for some support? Does she have any siblings or cousins she could spend time with? I'm going to tag some members for some further support and advice @hippy_mum @CoogeeMagic2018 @lizard0812 @MazzieP We're here to listen and support you  ... View more

Hi @sunflowermom I'm so sorry to hear that your daughter has run away, I can only imagine how stressful this must be I'm wondering if there has been any update from the police? It sounds like you are in a lot of pain, please know that we're here for you. I'm going to tag some of our members to see if they can provide  advice on your question about a check list of things to cover when a teen runs away @Mumof1 @Schooner @taokat @Chalke5  ... View more

Hi @Horsecrazy welcome to ReachOut and thank you for sharing. I'm sorry to hear your son has been having such a difficult time and the impact this has had on you also. Transitioning to high school and reaching adolescent years is such a challenge in itself, he's really lucky to have such a wonderful and loving parent. I'm wondering if he has access to a Counsellor at school that he could speak to for some support? Are there any gaming groups or community events he could attend with other boys around his age that have similar interests? I can see that you are based outside of Australia so just wanted to advise the resources on this site are for within Australia. You are more than welcome to post on this forum for some support. I'm going to tag other members for some advice @taokat @Happy @Schooner @sunflowermom We're here to listen and support you  ... View more

Hi @Star14 that sounds like a really difficult situation to be in both for you and your partner. Were you able to discuss some ways to approach it? How are you looking after yourself during this time? We're here to listen and support you  ... View more

Hi @Lkahn welcome to ReachOut and thank you for sharing. I'm sorry to hear you have been having a tough time with your daughter. May I ask how old she is? It must be frustrating when you've tried to communicate with her and she doesn't answer. It's great that you are there for her and I can see you are a loving and caring parent. I've noticed that you are located outside of Australia and just wanted to advise that the resources provided are for within Australia. You are welcome to post on here however, we're here to listen and support you  I'll also tag some other members for some support @PositiveWhisper @taokat @CoogeeMagic2018   ... View more

Hi @lizard0812 it sounds like a really tough and stressful time. Your son sounds very loyal to his friends and he's at an age where fitting in with his peers is important. This is particularly difficult when they start to hang out with the wrong crowd. It must feel very frustrating and upsetting to try to talk to him about the dangers and consequences but feel like you aren't getting through. In times like this would it be okay to give him the benefit of the doubt and that he knows you are there for him? Are there any other more positive role models around his age that he could spend some time with? Does he play any group sports? I'm going to tag some more members to see if they can provide advice and support on this @Mitzi @Schooner @PositiveWhisper @LovingThruBlue We're here for you  ... View more

Hi @taokat I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your closest friend, that would be absolutely heartbreaking  Thank you so much for reaching out and sharing with us during this difficult time. You have incredible self-awareness and it's great that you are finding ways to look after yourself. That is really beautiful what your daughter said and it is 100% true, something we all should remember. We're here for you  ... View more

Hi @Mom2three thanks for reaching out. I agree with the advice @kokolika has given in that although he may not be texting her frequently, it's great that he is respectful and caring when he interacts with your daughter in person. I'm wondering if she's told him how she feels about not having much contact during the times she doesn't see him and what his response has been? I guess it also depends on what each want from the relationship and hopefully can meet somewhere in the middle  She's lucky to have such a caring and supportive mother  ... View more

Hi @Parisita welcome to ReachOut and thank you for sharing, I've moved your post to a brand new thread so that other members will be able to see it. I'm sorry to hear that your daughter is having a tough time and the impact that this is having on you too. It's never easy seeing the ones we love suffering. It's good to hear that she is attending counselling sessions with you for some support, I'm wondering how this is going? Has the school been able to provide any support? You sound like a really loving and caring mother doing the best you can. I'm going to tag some of our members for support @taokat @Schooner @Happy @Dakotah  I can see that you are located outside of Australia and wanted to advise that our resources are Australian based.  We're here to listen and support you ... View more

@Troubled75 thanks for reaching out and I'm sorry to hear of the difficulties you have been facing. It sounds like it's been a really tough time for you and your son. I'm wondering if your son has someone that he is close to that could be an extra support during this time, perhaps a cousin, best friend or relative? You mentioned that he can have physical outlashes and meltdowns, does he play any sport that could help him release some of that built up energy? Self-care is really important during this time, what are some ways you are looking after yourself? I'm going to tag some members for some further support @Happy @Helpful_Mum @lizard0812 @Moggy3kids  We're here to listen and support you  ... View more

Hi @librarising welcome to ReachOut and thank you for sharing. I'm sorry to hear that your daughter's friend has been lying, that's a tricky position to be in. It sounds like you've definitely done what you can in terms of setting respectful boundaries around the friendship with your daughter's best interest at heart. I'm wondering if her friendship is causing any disruptions at school or with her school work? If so, would it be possible to speak to a school counsellor for some support? If it's not causing her any issues, would it be okay to monitor from a distance if that makes sense? I'm going to tag some of our members for some support @Helpful_Mum @Sammeebee @Happy @HippyMum I've also noticed that you are based outside of Australia so I just wanted to advise that our resources are for services located within Australia. We're here to listen and support you  ... View more

Hi @Mumof1 it sounds like a devastating situation to be in and I'm so sorry for the pain you and your daughter are going through. It's great that she has such a loving and supportive mum. It's really difficult when we want to support the ones we love most but they refuse to get any assistance and put themselves at greater risk. I'm going to tag some of our members for some further support @taokat @Happy @Moggy3kids @sunflowermom I'm glad to hear that you are looking after yourself and getting some support from your DR, self-care is really important. We're here for you  ... View more

Hi @lizard0812 thanks for reaching out to us. I'm sorry to hear that your son has been struggling with the separation and that his behaviour has become rude and disrespectful. It's good that he was able to see counsellors and psychologists for some support previously and he found it helpful. I'm wondering if this is something he is still able/willing to access? Another option could be web-based or phone counselling through eHeadspace or KHS. It's really hard setting boundaries particularly with co-parenting and like you said, can turn into a war zone when one is stricter than the other, on top of complexities of teenage years. I can see that you are a really loving and caring mum wanting what's best for your kids, they are lucky to have you. I'm going to tag some of our members for some further support and advice @sunflowermom @taokat @tenacious_dad @momof1teen. How are you looking after yourself during this time?  ... View more

Hi @1stressedmum great to hear that you spoke to the Counsellor and that you'll be speaking to your daughter about home support. I'm sorry to hear that your daughter didn't come home last night after the party, that's always a scary thought when we just want our kids home safe. At the very least, it was good she was able to send you a message to let you know. I think it would be reasonable to bring up the subject of safety in coming home, as safety always comes first. I can understand the apprehension of wanting to wait to see if she brings it up first, it really comes down to what you're comfortable with. It's always hard when we want to give them space and trust but at the same time don't want to ignore the fact that they may be putting themselves at risk. Communication is really a fine art at times, especially when we feel like we're walking on egg shells. I'm sorry to hear you are feeling guilty for her harming herself, please know that this is not your fault. You are an incredibly caring and loving mother who is doing the best she can for her daughter.  How are you looking after yourself during this time?  ... View more

Hi @shelby71 welcome to ReachOut and thank you for sharing with us. It sounds like it's been a really difficult time for you and I'm sorry to hear about the passing of your partner. Grief impacts us all in different ways and it sounds like your daughter has been struggling with this. It's really hard when we want to support our kids but then they go down a path that we know is not good for them or adopt unhealthy coping mechanisms. It's great that you have been encouraging her to seek some support and although she hasn't taken up the offer yet, it's really good to hear that she has handed over her marijuana voluntarily to you.  I've noticed that you are located overseas so just wanted to advise that the resources we provide will be Australian based. I'm wondering if there is a web-based counselling chat service available in your area that she might be interested in trying? I've found that teenagers don't tend to like to talk in person or on the phone as much but chat might be a less confronting option. An example of a service we have in Australia is eHeadspace or Kids Helpline. It might be worth chatting to the school counsellor to see if they know of any local supports. Self-care is really important during this time and I'm wondering how you are looking after yourself through all of this? I'm going to tag some of our members for some advice and support @taokat @sunflowermom @Happy @Moggy3kids Hang in there you are doing an amazing job  We're here to listen and support you.  ... View more

Hi @sunflowermom I'm so sorry to hear it's been such a difficult weekend for you with the news about your daughter possibly being pregnant and your struggles with depression. It's important to take some time out to recharge, even if that means retreating to your room for a while. It's great that you have family group tonight and that you'll see your therapist in a couple of weeks. I'm wondering what other ways you can practice some self-care tonight in the mean-time? We're here to listen and support you ... View more

Hi @Sammeebee thank you for sharing and reaching out to us. I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your partner that would have been a very difficult time. It sounds like you are doing an amazing job raising your boys . Teenage years can definitely be trying times as kids start to show their independence and appear to identify more with their peers. I'm sorry to hear you felt alone when this was happening, we're here to listen and support you. Self-care is important during this time, what are some ways you can look after yourself? I'm going to tag some of our members for some support and advice on this too @taokat @Happy @Tulip @Tully99.  ... View more

@Moggy3kids thank you so much for sharing your experiences on finding the right support services for your daughter and son. It sounds like it was a challenge initially and I agree in that we have to try to not fear our kids hating us for wanting to help them. It's good to hear that your daughter was able to recognise unhealthy habits and that your son is able to communicate when he is having a bad day. It's great that he is getting support from the GP, Psychologist and school. You are doing an amazing job and I hope you have time for some self-care too  ... View more