Hi @Seeker, I am sorry to hear about what you have been going through. We are so happy that you have shared this here. It is very clear that you care a lot about this young person and have offered a lot of yourself to help them. It is unfortunate that things have ended this way resulting in you being hurt. It must have been really difficult to maintain those rules that you set, knowing that he may have to find somewhere else to live. This is apart of setting boundaries and it sounds like this was a really important step for you. You have a lot of empathy and genuine love for this young person, despite feeling hurt, let down, upset and manipulated by them. You are doing a tough job of supporting someone who has their own issues, although you still deserve to feel respected, appreciated and acknowledged throughout this. I was wondering if you have ever received support for yourself? This must have been a difficult journey for you I also noticed that you were asking for suggestions at the end of your initial post. What do you hope for in the future? Do you have any plans to recommence contact with this young person? ... View more

Hi @1garden, thanks for sharing that with us. You have a really big move ahead of you - I can understand how worrying and taxing that must be for your family. How did your son cope with moving the first time?   I have noticed that @Janine-RO gave a lot of links and referrals. Did you get a chance to look at those?  You could contact the school or some of these services before your move to get more information. You could find out more about their availability, eligibility and service that they offer  ... View more

Hi @Sadie123, welcome to ReachOut and thanks for sharing that here with us. It sounds like you are finding yourself in a really difficult situation. There are some other parents who have shared their experience here - if you type keywords into our search bar, you can find similar topics. You can scroll through these yourself but I will include some below. Here they are: ' Daughters boyfriend is not that nice... Any suggestions?' and '18 year old's boyfriend is putting a strain on our relationship'.   We are an Australian service and so unfortunately we cannot offer any services or referral for your country. You are still most welcome to post here and seek support. Have you considered talking to a health professional about what is going on with your daughter? They may have suggestions on how to approach this topic with your daughter  ... View more

Hi @Daddy-McFly, welcome to ReachOut and thanks for sharing that. I can only imagine how frustrating this must be for you, considering it has been happening for one year now. Sleep is such a delicate issue and impacts both parents and child. it sounds as though you have been doing your best to get to the bottom of this issue  We feel for both you and your wife, it must be such a challenging experience.   Our service is for Australian parents of teenagers aged 12 - 18, seeking support for their children's mental health. This means our support a nd referrals are limited by age and location as it appears that you are located in the USA. Have you thought of talking to a GP about what you have been experiencing? They may be able to direct you to local services that can help you through this. In Australia, we have a Parents Line - perhaps your country may have a similar service? You could run these keywords through Google to see if anything comes up. Please keep an eye on your email, as I will be sending one through  ... View more

Hi Mitch, welcome to ReachOut and thanks for sharing. As you mention, being concerned about what our children have access to on the internet is quite common for parents. The list of accessible sites and programs can be completely endless without the use of restrictions. It is great that you are thinking of ways to protect your child online.   A lot of programs have inbuilt parental controls including web browsers, Windows itself and anti-virus programs. You could search some of the programs you use into Google and also have a look at their settings. If you are feeling at a loss, you could always contact a local computer shop or IT technician who may have suggestions for parental control. Could you please clarify what you mean by tracking device? As I understand, you are referring to monitoring internet use. A lot of web browsers contain a history that can track what websites and links are accessed   ... View more

Hi @Curious87, thanks for starting this topic and sharing that with us. High school is definitely a challenging journey of ups and downs. Understandably, it can have a number of benefits and consequences on a teenager's well-being and development. What makes you feel as though your teenager's self esteem is impacted right now? To provide some context, would you mind sharing how old your children are? ... View more

Hi @MumofTwo2020, thanks for sharing that with us all. What a beautiful example of how an everyday thing can translate into a life lesson. Honestly, I think you have done such a perfect job and have a lot of them covered.. Another aspect you could include - TRUST those around you to lead the way when you are unsure. I remember that learning to ride a bike can be quite scary as you feel as though you may hurt yourself - but someone was always there to help. You could also include - receive SUPPORT from others when you need it. On the contrary, learning to ride a bike is exciting and we might want to do it all on our own although we may need a bit of support to get there first. Both of these build on the 'COACH' aspect you have mentioned but in a slightly different way. Awesome job, keep it coming! ... View more

Hi @Ankion_20, thanks for sharing. It sounds like such a difficult situation to be in. How do you feel about your son's response? I imagine it must be a challenging thing to hear. I am also wondering about the repercussions if your son is not able to visit his friends? Do you have any concerns as to whether he will just go anyway? Would you feel comfortable chatting to the boy's mum to confirm any plans/arrangements? Sorry for all the questions ... View more

Hi @Estinger21, welcome to ReachOut and thanks for sharing that. I am just noticing that you are from the USA, so unfortunately our referrals and services may not be relevant to you as we are an Australian forum. You are still most welcome to continue using our forum to receive support from other parents It is normal for young adults/teenagers to explore their sexuality. How would you feel about talking to either your daughter or partner about this? It can seem awkward and confrontational at first.. but open communication can make a big difference to any situation. If there are any Parent Support Lines in your area, it may be beneficial for you to chat to them about how to approach this topic, if you are unsure ... View more

Hi @Hugo2019, thanks for sharing that with us. It sounds like such a difficult situation where you just want the best support for your son. It can definitely be frustrating waiting for support services - it is tough to see our loved ones in need. What services are best for you differs from family to family.. so it is based on your own needs, situation and background. By slow, do you mean you are on a waiting list for the private psychiatrist? If so, it might be worth staying on the waiting list for the private psychiatrist, while you explore CAMHS as a support option. If you are not on the waiting list, how have the sessions been going so far? We know that CAMHS is a specialised service for adolescents and has different levels and types of support. This is not to say it is a superior service, as it will depend on your family's needs and the background, experience and training of the psychiatrist you are seeing.. e.g they may be more experienced with adults or specific issues.   Is it possible to gain more information about both the psychiatrist and CAMHS service to assist in your decision making? We acknowledge how challenging such a big decision can be. It sounds like you have been dealing with so much. Do you have any support for yourself throughout this? If you were looking for somewhere to talk this out, you could contact Parent Line which have telephone support, referrals and resources. Please keep us updated   ... View more

Hi @dandelion, it sounds as though you care a lot about your son which is so lovely and special. It is great to hear that your son was hanging out with his friend recently. Your advice on hanging out in a small group is great - it is so true that it can be hard to find a suitable time for everyone. You mentioned wanting your son to be happy, are there other things that make him happy besides his friends? I like what @chippy said about doing nothing and life being boring. There are times like these and sometimes it can be enjoyable when everything else has been so busy. Is your frustration arising from him being at home or because you feel that he is unhappy? Thank you so much for sharing. We are here to listen, so please keep us updated ... View more

Hi @Shortstuff2, thank you for sharing. We are so sorry to hear that your son is going through bullying again. It sounds like a horrible and upsetting start to secondary school. Your heart must break watching him go through this experience all over again. He must be feeling so confused and hurt towards his friendship group. It is amazing to hear that you have a really good relationship with him and are able to talk about this. It is important to keep communication open, loving and non-judgmental. Is your son currently seeking any professional support? Do you feel like he might begin harming himself again? Approaching the school means that they are able to take action and monitor the situation. Without making them aware of the situation, the support, insight and intervention they can offer could be limited. That being said, you could still access the Student Wellbeing Services to receive support for your son which could be highly beneficial. They also might have an idea of local resources that you could access for your own support. This is important while you are supporting your son through this difficult and uneasy time period. Alternatively, we usually recommend services like Parents Line which provide amazing counselling and resources. You could also explore this issue further in depth with them over the telephone The concern you raise about the kids finding out is quite a common and normal worry to have as a parent. Due to the commonality of this issue, you would assume that the school would have ways of ensuring confidentiality and privacy. For example, the school could claim that the teacher has overheard the bullying as opposed to you filing a report. This is just an assumption so to be safe and reassured, you could have this conversation with the school before mentioning specific or personal details. This would allow you to find out more about their practices, policies and procedures. Please keep us updated, we are here to listen. ... View more

Hi @brissiemumof4, I edited some details out of your post as we are anonymous forum and are unable to facilitate email sharing or private chat between members. It sounds as though you are going through quite a lot right now. We really recommend starting your own topic if you feel comfortable. You can share your own story which will allow more members to be able to see your thread and share their support. It really helps to build our community into a loving and supportive space. Please also feel free to comment your insight and advice on other threads. You can type any keywords in the search box above to bring up relevant threads ... View more

Hi @oliva, welcome to ReachOut! Thanks for introducing yourself to the rest of the community. What has brought you to ReachOut? Would you like to tell us a bit more about yourself and your family? Feel free to browse through the various forum sections and contribute to any that interest you. Looking forward to hearing from you ... View more

Hey @nickers, welcome to ReachOut and thanks for sharing what has been going on with your family. It sounds like it has been such a difficult and stressful time for everyone involved. You sound like you have been so proactive and involved in his life, trying to do whatever you can to ease the situation. The question you raise about mental health is a really important one. Anyone can benefit from support from a health professional - you don't need to be mentally unwell. Given what your step son has been through, there is no harm in providing that avenue of support for him. He will be able to receive assistance with whatever is beneficial for him. So with that being said, it is so great that you have booked him in for an appointment with Headspace. How do you think your step son might be feeling about this appointment? At such a young age, it  can take some time to be aware of your own behaviour and how it might impact other people. Unfortunately it can make things so much more challenging for the family    It is so disheartening to hear that you feel so alone. We have a lovely parents based community here which will provide their support and insight soon. You can also read some of the other threads written by parents to read other advice, strategies or tips that may be relevant. At the very least, it can be great to connect with other parents to know that you are not the only one struggling. Dealing with heavy situation for such a long time must have taken a toll on both you and your partner - is there anything you both do as a form of self-care? It can help recharge the batteries, so to speak, so that you can continue to navigate all of these challenges. A service other parents find helpful is Parents Line which provides amazing support, referrals and resources for parents. Let us know if you give it a go  ... View more

Hi @Tdouble, welcome to Reachout and thanks for sharing your experience. We are so glad that you have found this thread helpful and relevant. That being said, I am sorry to hear that you are experiencing a lot of pain and difficulty in your journey with your son. You mentioned feeling like a horrible mother.. although from your post, I can tell that you are trying your best to understand, empathise and refrain from judging your son. I think that these qualities really give children a safe base to work from in a lot of situations This is something you should be so proud of as it sounds like a lot of other people judge and criticise your son. It looks like you are an international user which is okay but please be mindful that our resources are Australian based and so may not be relevant to you. We have a lovely and supportive community of parents here which I am sure will provide some support and insight soon I wonder if you knew why your son is not invested in and refusing counselling from his perspective? Is there anything he has said about it? Reaching out for help can be so challenging, especially as a young person. It really sounds like you are trying your best to support your son through this.  ... View more

Hi @Mumofone74, welcome to ReachOut and thanks for sharing all of that with us here. It sure can be frightening to discover that our children have not be overly honest with us. I really do agree with what you said about it being a fine line - you want to address his behaviour but not push him further into being deceptive. Have you mentioned that you have found the device and can smell the fragrance? It really does sound like such a difficult situation to manage but we are here to let you know that you are not alone Our resources and referrals are Australian based and so may not be relevant to you, unfortunately. Nonetheless, you are very welcome on our forums and we are sure that other parents will reply soon with some support and insight. ... View more

Hi @dka70, thanks for sharing all of that and providing more context to the situation. It sounds like your family has been going through a very stressful time since the passing of your mother. She seemed so very important to both you and your daughter so I am sorry to hear of your loss It is a shame that it sounds as though you aren't receiving the help you deserve and need. That can be quite frustrating and disappointing for anyone struggling with their mental health. Being honest and open is really important in therapy but it can take time for anyone to feel comfortable sharing their story. Hopefully over time, she is able to make more progress in the sessions with her therapist.   It is great that you have a lot of support for yourself to help get you and your family through this. Often when our families face issues, we forget that we need to attend to our own needs too to be able to support our families. What about your daughter? Are there any activities that she engages in? It could be another way to connect with your daughter and open up the gateway to conversation. I know a lot of parents have shared some similar experiences here on the forums, so you are not alone although it may feel like this is the reality. A lot of families have their own issues and complexities which often is not known until we share our own. I noticed that you said you are hesitant to tell others what is really going on. What do you think is holding you back? Would you ever think of sharing your struggle with those around you? ... View more

Hi @mumtoma, welcome to the forums and thanks for sharing that with all of us here. This sounds like such a very difficult and heart-breaking issue for your family I am wondering whether you have had a chance to speak to the parents of the household she is staying at? As you said, it is important for her to be at home but it is great that there is still somewhere that she feels comfortable to stay at. Is there any reason why she does not want to return home? You could always have a chat to Parentline, they are an amazing resource Sometimes it helps to be able to chat it out over the phone. You could also chat to the local police station for support, although they may have limited advice. ... View more

Hi @Jaype, I am so sorry to hear that. It must be such a horrible experience for you to deal with. It is great that you were able to get him to leave the house. It puts you in such a difficult position but you do need to keep yourself and others safe. I was wondering whether you do have any other children? I really love the advice that @MomTo3Plus has given. It can seem selfish or somewhat counterproductive but it is for important to look after yourself throughout this. Do you receive any professional support? Unfortunately, a lot of support is only beneficial if the person is receptive and open to it. Do you know what your son dislikes about the professional support he has received before? It is a tricky situation as it is difficult for a lot of teenagers to open up.. That being said, you can still receive your own support to help you deal with this situation.. especially if your son is hesitant ... View more

Hi @79series, thanks for sharing that with us. Just so you know, I had to remove the drug names from your post as it breaches our community guidelines here. It sounds like your family has been going through a lot of stress and pain recently. Your son is dealing with a whole range of issues which must be difficult for him to process. I was wondering whether you knew if your son was having any thoughts of suicide or ending his life? Overdosing is not always related to thoughts of suicide but it is important to know if it is. This would help determine the appropriate level of support for your son. Is this a conversation you would feel comfortable having with him? We have some resources and information here that might help. I was also wondering what professional support your son has received so far? Our forums is for Australian parents of children aged 12-18. You are more than welcome to use our forums and services but just know that some services may not be relevant or accessible based on your son's age. Services you speak to might be inclined to check in on you as a parent as what you are going through is really difficult. It is only natural for this kind of thing to take a toll on yourself. It is important for you to have support throughout this. You don't have to go through it alone just because you are a parent  Is there any support you currently have?    ... View more

Hi @Snoopylove123, thanks for sharing that with us all. It must be such a difficult and scary time for you right now. I was wondering if you know whether your daughter is having any thoughts of suicide or ending her life? It can be a challenging conversation to have with your child but it is a really important one to have. We have some resources that might help here. This link contains a lot of information about self-harm. It is important to know that some cases of self-harm may require medical attention. This could involve calling 000 or taking your child to the hospital. Sorry for all the questions - it just helps to have a bit more context to the situation so we can understand better Lastly, I was wondering if your daughter has any professional supports in her life? I just wanted to say that it is great that this has been brought to your attention and that you are now reaching out for support.    I noticed you are not posting from Australia. Just so you know, we are an Australian service and therefore we offer referral to Australian services. You are more then welcome to use our forums but just know that some referral and resources may not be accessible or relevant to you  ... View more

Hi @teacher, thanks for bringing this issue to the forums. It must be hard for you to experience this as a teacher, as you want to see every student succeed. It sounds like this is a topic that you are passionate about and wanting to make change in which is really kind of you. How can you handle this instance if it does occur in your classroom? ... View more

Hi @Moneyman, thanks for sharing that with us all here. The behaviour you have described sounds like it is quite the challenge to manage. I am just wondering how old your son is at the moment? Is there anything that has been helpful about the therapy he has been receiving? Do you attend this therapy with him or does he attend alone? It sounds like you are doing all you can to handle the situation. If it helps, you are not alone and if you search through our forums, there are users with similar experiences. Sometimes it is beneficial to connect with those who have walked the same path as us. ... View more

Hi @Parenting1, thanks for sharing all of this. When you say it all worked out in the end, does that mean that the concert has been and gone? Or are you just feeling a sense of relief now that arrangements for accommodation and travel have been made? Just so we can try to understand more, how did your daughter feel about the whole situation? You mentioned that she wanted to make new connections but was she weary of going in light of the circumstances? Once again, thanks for sharing this with us all ... View more