Hi @Darle, I am really sorry to hear that you are going through this. Abuse is never okay in any situation. You're right in saying that it is a really difficult situation as your daughter still lives with you and is treating you poorly. It sounds like you've tried a few different approaches and that none of them have worked. I can understand why this is causing you to feel really upset to say the least. It sounds like you're feeling quite stuck and disappointed with how things have turned out. It must be so hard to experience this behaviour from your child. I was wondering if you have anyone in your life who supports you? Are you currently receiving any mental health support? Is your daughter? Nevertheless, we are here for you ... View more

Hi @Awhina24, Thanks for sharing. I am really sorry to hear that you are going through this and that it is having a significant impact on your wellbeing. You aren't the only one and it makes sense that you are feeling this way. It is important to focus on what you can control as climate change is an issue that affects us all, and some play a way bigger role compared to others. It sounds like you are doing all you can to be eco conscious which is a really important part of fighting for a cause that means a lot to you. We have an article here on climate change and while it is geared towards parents supporting their children, there may be some helpful tips for you in there. We also have an article on our youth website which might have some relevant advice for you too.  It is also really great that you're seeking support. It might be worth talking about how climate change is impacting you, whenever you get the chance. Based off what you know now and the actions that you are taking to be kinder to the environment, how do you think you could prepare your son for the future?  ... View more

Hi @Luc001, Thanks for sharing. What a very tricky situation! I can imagine you might be feeling quite frustrated about the situation, especially having to miss out on the weekend away. What was it like having to stay home? It seems like this does not happen often.. however, if it did, would you do anything differently this time? Are there any other options? ... View more

Hi @Lily45, Thanks for sharing. We are so sorry to hear about the situation that you find yourself in. It sounds incredibly difficult and frustrating. Hopefully it all works out in your favour and that your family get to enjoy your overseas trip. What a wonderful time for it over the holiday period! Unfortunately, we can't provide legal advice but it seems like you are making the most of all your options. I imagine this process must be quite stressful, including your son as well. How is he feeling about this situation? We'd also encourage you to reach out for support if you feel like this is taking a toll on your mental health or relationships. There are services like Parents Beyond Breakup which provide support around family breakdown and separation. You can also head to your GP for mental health related support and they can direct you to services in your local area. Please feel welcome to keep us updated   ... View more

Hi @Milliejosh2 Thanks for posting to our forums. Can you share a bit more about what is going on with your daughter so that we can best support you? ... View more

Hi @OdliDPrincess, Thank you for sharing your experience. Just so you know, we don't allow external links to be shared on our website, so we have edited your post If you'd like more information, you can have a read of our guidelines here. Thank you! ... View more

Hi @mumoftwogirls Thank you for sharing what is happening in your family. It sounds like an incredibly stressful situation. I can't imagine how worried and scared you feel as a parent. From what you have mentioned, you are doing all you can to manage the situation. It is really great that you are able to be in contact with where she is staying, even if you have mixed responses at times. It is also positive that your daughter has several supports. Does she still keep in contact with these supports when she is staying elsewhere? Have they been able to provide any advice to you as parents? I also wanted to say that you are doing such a great job as parents by reaching out and being engaged with several services. This must take a massive toll on you, considering the worry and stress that you are under. Do you have your own support to manage these difficulties? How do you find ways to relax in these circumstances? ... View more

Hi @newt1021, thank you for sharing. So we can support you, can you please include some more information about what is happening for you right now? We're here for you. ... View more

Hi @woowoo, Thanks for responding. We are glad that you have been able to check out the article that we linked. You can sign up to our one-on-one program and they will be able to assess your eligiblity with the information that you provide. Please let us know how you go if you decide to try it out ... View more

Hi @tjmax, Thanks for sharing. I am so sorry to hear that you are going through the same thing and have been for such a long time. That must really take a toll on your well-being. It also sounds like you've got a lot on your plate and are feeling unsure about what to do next and have already tried some things. How have you tried to manage the situation with your boyfriend and his ex? How does your boyfriend manage the situation? It sounds like such a complex and challenging situation to be in. Given how difficult this is, I am wondering if you have any support at the moment? Whether that be from friends, family or services? Just so you know, I have sent you through an email. ... View more

Hi @Day86, thank you for sharing your story. It is great that you are reaching out to get support for your son. Meltdowns can be really difficult to manage, especially when you feel stuck. What supports do you have at the moment? What things have you tried already? ... View more

Hi @free4everjc, Thanks for sharing your concerns. It makes sense that you are feeling worried about this and wanting to take action. We are an Australian service, so unfortunately we are not aware of the law or services in your area. Regardless, in a situation like this, it would be best to consult with a lawyer or the police who would be best able to advise you. There may also be a service like Child Protection which may be able to assist you which protects the welfare and safety of children. Understandably, this must be quite a difficult and upsetting situation for you. Do you have any support at the moment? Either from services or family and friends? ... View more

Hi @Stuartleeson74 Thanks for sharing. We are so sorry to hear that things are really difficult at the moment. Being a single parent is tough and can quite easily become exhausting and overwhelming. Do you have anyone who is supporting you at the moment? Whether that is family, friends or services? Do you want to share more about why you feel that you need to place your son into care?  We are an Australian service and have noticed that you are living in the UK, so unfortunately we don't have specific information about your area. Generally speaking, child protection agencies have a role in supporting parents and may be able to offer you assistance. I have found a website that might be relevant to you here. Sometimes there are also 'respite' programs that host activities for kids but you would have to see if these exist in your area. Otherwise, your local doctor would be able to answer your question and have further information including any support services that may be able to help take some pressure off you. Best of luck and please feel welcome to keep us updated ... View more

Hi @LunaMc Thank you so much for sharing your experience. Well done on being able to have that insight into your relationship with your child. It can be really difficult to realise how your behaviour might be eliciting a certain response. It sounds like lockdown was particularly hard for you as a single mum with younger ones. It must have put a strain on everyone in the family. How were you able to gain this insight and make these realisations? What tips would you give to other parents? ... View more

Hi @squirell008, We are so glad you have found our forums! Welcome I am really sorry to hear that your son is struggling at the moment. It can be difficult to see your children face challenges in life, particularly if a condition is getting in the way. You mentioned feeling frustrated. It sounds like things are really hard for you as a parent right now. Do you want to share more about what that looks like? It sounds like there is a lot of tension in your family at the moment - have I got that right?  I know it might be hard to feel these words in your heart but please know that you are not alone. We have other threads created by parents here which you might find comfort in reading. It can help to read that others have been in similar situations. I have done a Google search and found the ADHD Foundation which has a national helpline which might have helpful support or resources. There are also some local services which I found here and here, however I don't know how relevant they are to you. Please feel most welcome to report back here   ... View more

Hi @Jaggi, Thank you for sharing this with us. We are so sorry to hear that your mental health is severly impacted by your daughter's behaviour. Please know that you are not alone, a lot of other parents have faced a similar situation. It is so difficult to manage your child's behaviour alongside your own needs. It can be beneficial to look after yourself by doing things you enjoy, seeking support from mental health professionals and spending time with family or friends. Do you have any support at the moment? You also mentioned your daughter living out of home when she turns 18. Does she have any support that might make the transition to living out of home easier? If you're wanting additional advice to inform your decision, you can contact Relationships Australia here or on 1800 050 321. We're here to listen ... View more

Hi , Thanks for sharing. I’m sorry to hear that you’re having coparenting difficulties regarding your son. It must be upsetting to have your involvement with your son limited by your ex partner. From what you have mentioned, it sounds like you are doing all you can to make an effort which is challenging, especially as you live in different states. Do you know why your ex appears to be limiting your involvement with your son? It sounds like things are not where you’d like them to be with your son. I can imagine this must feel crushing considering how difficult things are. It’s hard to know what to do and there is no right answer. It’s great that your son is aware that you are there for him, if need be. Have you talked to your son about your relationship including whether there is anything you could do differently or how he would like to spend your time together? For what it’s worth, it sounds like you are doing a great job trying to navigate a complex situation. Given how hard this is, I am wondering if you have any support for yourself at the moment? We’re here for you ... View more

Hi @GrowingPains, Thank you for sharing. I want to start by saying that I am really sorry to hear about how this information has impacted you. I don't blame you for feeling devastated and like the situation is unfair. It sounds like you really disagree with their decision and feel like it is not a reflection of your son. It is great that you are planning to speak to the teacher - do you know what you will say to them? Have you spoken to them about this situation before? It would be helpful to get some clarification around why they have made this decision and how they think it would be beneficial for your son. Please feel welcome to keep us updated ... View more

Hi @HockeyMom, Thanks for sharing. That is great that medication has made a massive difference. It is so nice to hear that your son has such a passionate love for sport. Hockey sounds like a great way of keeping him active. If you feel unsure about the diagnosis that your son has received, we recommend getting a second opinion or discussing this with your local practitioner. Talking to a psychologist can be highly beneficial too, as they can help you discover ways for your son to focus while playing hockey that is relevant to his needs. I was also wondering if you have talked to his coach about this and whether they have any suggestions? For example, he might benefit from shorter bouts of speech. There also might be strategies that he can use to keep his focus down the other end of the field while waiting for it to come down his side. ... View more

Hi @KevinJoshua, Thank you for sharing. It sounds like this behaviour is quite concerning for you. It is great that you have tried to talk to your son about the impacts that this may have on his life. What has been his response to the material when you share it? Considering your concern, the impact and potential severity of this behaviour, it may be beneficial to seek support from a health professional like a GP or psychologist. They can help your son directly or guide you to manage this situation with the right strategies. Is this something you've thought of doing before? Just so you know, we don't allow users to link external content, therefore I have removed some details from your post. ... View more

Hi @Katie06, Thank you for your question. Unfortunately your question is outside of our scope as we are a mental health forum that provides support to parent's of teenagers. We are also unable to provide medical advice and with something so important, it is best to consult with a health professional who is aware of your individual health and circumstances ... View more

Hi @Heidot, Thank you so much for sharing your tips! Your advice about finding your own rationale, keeping at it and making a compromise you are happy with is very helpful and insightful. As you know, boundary setting can take a lot of effort and time - making it a journey rather than a simple process. I also like what you mentioned about the influence of other people. You are so right, others might add their opinion, but at the end of the day, it is your decision. It is so important to back yourself, even though it can be difficult at times especially if you are going against the grain, so to speak. What you mentioned about feeling comfortable about your choice really does say it all as this is the most important part of any decision making ... View more

Hi @Heidot, I am sorry that you can relate to this topic but also want to thank you for sharing your experience. It can be really comforting to know that others have struggled with the same thing. I like your idea of teaching your kids about healthy respectful relationships, noting that family does not get any exclusions from this. I also really appreciate how you are still able to show kindness towards your father and have taught your children to do the same. This can be easier said than done and I am sure it took you some time to get there but it sounds like you have been able to work through this. Do your children have any contact with your father? If you feel comfortable answering.. what tips would you give to other people facing a similar situation? How were you able to adapt this view of kindness and healthy boundaries despite the difficulty of cutting off a family member? Did you have any supports? Again, thank you. ... View more

Hi @Parent-of-a-few, I noticed that you made a similar post elsewhere on our forums so I moved it to this thread as we do not allow duplicate posts. I am not sure if you saw Portia's reply but she made some great suggestions and shared a resource above. Please feel welcome to let us know how you go ... View more

Hi @Bridger1 Thanks for sharing your story with us. You raise an interesting point about children wanting to feel understood. You’re exactly right in saying that! A lot of the time people are wanting to be heard and validated by those supporting them. It can be difficult to stop ourselves from jumping into solution mode though, especially when it comes to our own children. It’s also really great that you found mentorship to be helpful for your son. We don’t allow members to share links to other websites as per our community guidelines, so unfortunately I have removed the link from your post. You mentioned that this experience was quite a scary situation for you, and understandably so. It is really difficult when you want to help someone but they aren’t listening. Is there anything that helped you navigate this part of the journey as a parent? ... View more

Hi @Bears-2022, thank you for sharing. I am really sorry to hear of how difficult things were for your family. It must have been quite frightening to be considering an involuntary commitment. It is great that your daughter was able to engage with dialetical behaviour therapy and see really positive outcomes. Getting started can be the hardest step for a lot of people to take. To other parents reading, who may be in a similar situation, do you feel comfortable providing any advice to them? Hi @CocoaM, thank you for updating us. It sounds like you have had a really long, complex and expensive journey to getting your daughter support. I am sorry that this has been so hard for you and that you are still anticipating some further bumps in the road. It is good that she has your love and support as you mention.. but also now the skills and tools from the dialectical behaviour therapy program. Is she still receiving support from a psychiatrist or mental health professional? You mentioned finding yourself again which is a really important process for anyone who feels lost or like they need some reconnection. Do you know how you might go about your self exploration journey? ... View more

Hi , Thank you for sharing this with us. I want to start by acknowledging how frightening and upsetting this situation must be for you. It’s so difficult to watch your children struggle and not know what’s going on or how to help. It can be quite common for anyone who self harms to feel ashamed or worried about judgement or punishment. It’s not too late, there are ways of managing this behaviour even if it is occurring. We have an article on self harm which some includes some helpful tips. It’s really great that you’re thinking about next steps and how to handle this situation best. We’d encourage you to call mental health triage on 13 14 65, if you’re ever worried about your daughter’s safety. It is important to know whether your daughter needs medical attention for her self harm. If she’s unwilling to show you, you could ask her whether she feels comfortable showing someone else, like a GP or a teacher. Lastly, as you mentioned that this behaviour is quite out of character for your daughter, it’s important that she receives professional support. You could consult with your GP or school counsellor to start with. Additionally, there are online services here that provide web or telephone counselling if your daughter needs more immediate support. ... View more

Hi @Mamanic, Thanks for sharing - this sounds like a really difficult and awkward situation to be in. As you mentioned, everyone handles parenting and rules differently. At the same time, this is creating some discomfort and confusion for you so it is totally understandable that you want to do something about it. You mentioned that you have the father's number... is it possible to talk to him about your concerns? If not, maybe you could talk to the father about suggesting a meetup with the mother as a way of getting to know each other, seeing as your children are spending more time together What do you think? Please keep us updated! ... View more

Hi @TimTam78, I am sorry to hear about the tricky situation that you are in. It is great to hear that your daughter is still connected to her friends and is in contact with them regularly. It must be difficult to notice a change in your daughter's behaviour but not know why or how to help. I wouldn't blame you if you felt rejected or upset, especially as your daughter is wanting more time away from the family. There could be so much happening under the surface so I wanted to echo Natalie's suggestion of talking to a school counsellor or even engaging in family therapy. While it sounds like you are doing all the right things (and everything you can), you might find other alternatives that work better. You mentioned that your daughter wanted to avoid a 'lecture' from you after parent teacher interviews. Have you tried asking your daughter how you can support her to complete her school work? A lot of teens appreciate having a bit more control in a situation, within reason. It might also give you a clearer idea of how to approach the situation in a way that your daughter is more likely to be responsive to. ... View more