Hi @Anroge
Thank you for sharing your story. We can hear that you have done a whole lot of work around getting support for your daughter. You mentioned that you went to the emergency department yesterday - it was really great that you were able to do that, although it can be quite confronting at times. We wanted to check whether your daughter was safe right now?
It also sounds like you have a great understanding of why people self-harm which is really important in making your daughter feel validated and heard. The concerns that you have raised are very valid, not only as a parent of someone who self harms but also of the person who self harms as well. It can be difficult to accept but self harm is not always logical and even with other strategies available, a person can still gravitate towards self harm. It is so great to hear that she has a lot of strengths, amazing qualities and a caring support network. It sounds like you have a lot of supports and resources already, however, a lot of young people like using Kids Helpline or eHeadspace which have a telephone counselling and webchat service.
We can only imagine how hard this is for you as a parent, especially as you mentioned that you have a close relationship with your daughter. Do you have any support for yourself at the moment? We have an article here on self harm, which has tips and stories from other parents who have been through a similar thing. If you would like to talk to someone, Parentline is a great resource and may be able to point you in the right direction of what to do next.
Just to let you know, we have had to edit out references to the method of self harm out of your post as per our guidelines. This information can be harmful or triggering to others who have experienced trauma. We noticed that you mentioned that your daughter prefers it being referred to self-harm, as referring to the method of self harm is too confronting. Generally speaking, certain images, words or visible self harm marks can be triggering to people who self-harm. A lot of people already feel deep shame or embarrassment about self-harming, especially the fact that it can leave permanent marks. Unfortunately these kinds of consequences don't deter people who self-harm and they often find themselves being unable to stop but also feeling incredibly distressed over visible marks and associated judgement. Given this, it might be worth talking this over with your daughter again, if you feel as though this information is relevant to you.
Please know that we are also here for you too
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