Hi @Guiltymum,    That sounds like such a difficult situation, and I can only imagine how heart wrenching it would be to see your son go through such a difficult time right now, especially with how difficult things are across the board with regards to Covid. Firstly, I really want to implore you not to beat yourself up about only having one child. A lot of my friends have grown up as only children, and they are happy and fulfilled adults, with many friends and loved ones who care about them. I have no doubt in my mind that your son will grow up to be the same :)  It sounds like your son is having to deal with a lot of rejection when he calls his friends to hang out, and I can totally understand why overhearing those conversations would be deeply troubling. Perhaps, however, there is a miscommunication between himself and his friends? I know that a lot of people get anxious about phone calls - particularly by ones that aren't planned in advance. Maybe it could help to encourage your son to message people in advance and ask his friends when they are free, adn what time would be best to call them. It might also be good to ask them if they like phone calls, or if they would prefer to just message.  It might also help if he was involved in some extracurricular activities, where he can make friends who have the same interests as him :) are there any activities that he really enjoys, or would be interested to learn more about that you could sign him up for?  ... View more

hi @JohnMorrow ,   The whole situation you've described is extremely difficult, and I can totally understand why the ordeal has been so stressful and hurtful for both you and your daughter. The support and love that you have shown your daughter is incredibly admirable, and it's extremely good that she has such a caring role model in her life :)    The most serious issue that needs to be addressed, is your daughter's self harm. Self-harm is often used as a coping mechanism for a lot of people when they're really stressed, or down, however it can be a potentially dangerous one, and can lead to increasingly serious injury. It's really important that your daughter gets some sort of professional support or intervention for this, as then she can start to learn better coping mechanisms to replace self-harming. This is especially true due to how young your daughter is.  In regards to your daughter's relationship with her mum, it's a good idea to have a frank conversation with her about what is going on first. Realistically, there isn't a lot that can be done without have a discussion first anyway. I think a lot of the points you've raised here are extremely valid, and would be good to bring up with your ex-partner. It might be a good idea to have a chat with your counsellor and plan out exactly how you want to bring up this issue, but I think it's important to talk about how your ex's behaviour is making your daughter feel, and what you think needs to be done to improve the situation.    It might also be a good idea to talk to your daughter about what she wants, and what she thinks would best improve her relationship with her mum. This information can also be a really good guiding point for the conversation you will have with her mother, as you can also act as your daughter's advocate and bring up the things she needs from their relationship as well. Let us know your thoughts and how you go!!  ... View more

hey @Erin25,  Thanks for sharing your story with ReachOut. It sounds like you're having a really tough time with your son spending a lot of time out of the house, without you knowing where he is going to be. It is always really tricky when our teens start gaining independence, especially when we aren't able to monitor where they are. Sometimes, it can be helpful to negotiate with your child some terms for when they are out, that still give him a sense of freedom. For example, maybe you could ask for the address of where he's staying that night, or have him agree to come back home just to check in at least once between sleepovers. It might also be a good idea to suggest that he bring his friends over to yours, just so you can meet all the kids and get to know them yourself. You might also be able to organise picking him up from his friend's place the next morning, and that way you can also meet his friends' parents, exchange numbers etc. etc.  ... View more

Hey @jeeplass, welcome to the forum!  12 is definitely a normal age for kids to start thinking about who they like/start figuring out their sexuality. I am sure if you think back to yourself at that age, you would be able to recall classmates and friends that you would have had a crush on :) Often when we think about sexuality, especially in the context of queer identities, we can get caught up around the "sex" aspect. However, romance, crushes, and other (age-appropriate) attraction are just as important and part of growing up for queer kids as it is for their straight peers.  It might also be a good idea to talk to your daughter about sex and dating. While she's still young (and I am sure she'll always be your baby ), it's always a good idea to give kids as much information as they need, so that they're able to make informed decisions. Plus by being open and honest, you're communicating to your daughter that you are someone she can trust if she needs to talk about things like this in the future :)  ... View more