There is nothing wrong with your daughter. There are many people, including adults, all around the world that are the same way. The best thing you can do is love and support her. If you try to make her talk to someone else about wearing diapers, she will end up resenting you and will feel that she can't trust you any more. Your daughter needs to know that she is not alone. She needs to know that there are other people out there who are just like herself. This is most likely not just something that she will grow out of. If you would like to know more please let me know and I will be more than happy to help 😊 I hope this helps you, and have a wonderful weekend! ... View more

From what I have seen we have come far in inclusions of those different but there still remains intolerance and bigotry I had a special needs child in one of my auskick teams and image such a difference to his life and all on the team I treassure it as one of my best memories of that time when his mother thanked us for having him as part of the team The funny thing is when I tried to discuss it with my son he didn't even know what I was talking about..he just accepted him as he was Don't you wish all we meet could be as accepting as a 6 year old ... View more

I agree with @TOM-RO and @PapaBill    If your partner still doesn't see the issue ask him how he'd feel if someone he respected who was bigger/stronger than him did the same thing on a regular basis. Maybe even his boss. ... View more

Hi there @Th3F0x     Welcome to ReachOut parents forum and thank you for coming here to get some support on this issue. It sounds incredibly frustrating for you - especially as a new dad who has limited time with your son. Do you feel like there is any room for this to be communicated to your wife's father, or to your wife?    From what you're saying he has been the patriarch of the family and this is starting to conflict with your fatherly instincts. I personally believe that there isn't anything that can come in between a loving father and his child -  I can sense that you are a wonderful father.   I did want to let you know that the age range we work with at ReachOut is 14-25 years old. While you are welcome to get support here I did want to provide you with some resources that may be more relevant to you considering the age of your child.    How Is Dad Going? is an organisation geared towards giving support to new dads - they also have forums that you might find helpful. The link to their website is here.  ... View more

Hi Everyone   I don't have a lot of personal insight on helping my children through bullying. When I spoke with them about it they indicated they both had people attempt to bully them. In both cases my children were able to give back as good as they got verbally.   Both my children were restricted from social media until later teems (15+) when they needed to start collaborating for projects in later in school.     From what I understand this is a big source of bullying so keeping them off social media seemed to work for them ... View more

Hey All    Thought it would be good share some of  the discussions we have been having with on the youth forum about sexuality and being a part of the bisexual and pansexual community.  ... View more

hi @timmins  . Did the cooking went well?   I really hope the assistance of  Uniting Communities is helping. Strange how all teens seem to be unwilling to take advice or guidance from their parents but they can hear the something from a third party and accept it. ... View more

Hi @Goingthruit2   It is incredibly hard when we see our children going down the wrong path and making poor choices. The behavior you describe sounds like it really needs the help of professionals.     Drugs can drive horrendous behavior and can completely take over peoples lives. Sadly no matter how much we want to help and guide our children, they are the ones making the choices. When they make these choices it can be very destructive not only to themselves but those around them.   It sounds like you love your son very much and that is why it hurts so much.  Your situation sounds particularly challenging as your son is so young and is not yet independently leaving but making decisions of his life without consideration for anyone else.           ... View more

Oh yes @Xculture the dreaded sleep over. I hear your worry.    I recently contributed to a similar thread that you might like to read here.   I know that we want to save our kids from making mistakes that are clear to us. Unfortunately that isn't our role. We are try to teach strategies, equip them for a positive life and to make good choices. We share our joys, regrets, triumphs, concerns and mistakes with them so they can learn from us but also in the hope they will share their's with us. Please be confident that you have raised a strong and wise young woman. She may not be the same as you but it sounds like you have a good relationship. Maybe she's ready to be a young adult now. Good luck. ... View more

Music tends to be our most common unifier and it can be listened to anywhere. Walks are another. ... View more

@PapaBill what a great plan I am sure that really motivated the kids to get to bed on time  ... View more

Hi @Helplessmum Sorry To hear of the struggles your daughter and you have been through I don't have any experience of the disorder so I cannot offer any abide I echo the earlier comment that you would be best advised by a medical practitioner with knowledge of the condition ... View more

Hi @DuckAquarium777    Teens can be very mean to others and that can be devastating.  It is quite understandable that if your daughter is feeling unwanted on the court those feelings are extending beyond the court.   Adding to @Dad4good  comment about "introduce her to other things that may be in line with her natural abilities" another option you might be able to consider (Depending on where you live) is have her join a team at a different grade (i.e. C or D grade etc)       ... View more

Thanks @PapaBill very much appreciated. I'll see how talking some boundaries through with my partner goes and see what happens. I'll also keep in mind that 2/14 days is not a lot of time, and they are there to be with their dad - and give them the time to do that.   That will actually likely help a lot :)   If anyone else has ideas or advice to add, please do, the more the merrier! Thanks again! ... View more

Hi @Dad4good    Obviously the separation was unsettling for them.    In our case, each child had an individual room for themselves in each house which allowed them to have their own space at each home.   Doing this minimized the unsettling that is natural in such a big change.   In our case my ex moved out, and I stayed in the marital home.   By allowing the kids to take stuff from the marital home to their mothers allowed them to keep familiar things with them.    The beds, bedding, furniture etc they had before separation all moved out with them.  So while they "new home" had the "familiar furniture" the "familiar home" had "new furniture"     If they are truly only concerned with excessive switching.. Make the custody week on week off. If that is not acceptable, I wonder anyone talking "main" home is really meaning they should have greater than 50/50 custody.         ... View more

Hi @Dad4good    Obviously the separation was unsettling for them.    In our case, each child had an individual room for themselves in each house which allowed them to have their own space at each home.   Doing this minimized the unsettling that is natural in such a big change.   In our case my ex moved out, and I stayed in the marital home.   By allowing the kids to take stuff from the marital home to their mothers allowed them to keep familiar things with them.    The beds, bedding, furniture etc they had before separation all moved out with them.  So while they "new home" had the "familiar furniture" the "familiar home" had "new furniture"     If they are truly only concerned with excessive switching.. Make the custody week on week off. If that is not acceptable, I wonder anyone talking "main" home is really meaning they should have greater than 50/50 custody.         ... View more

hi @mommyof3    Raising teens is very tough. Teens today have a very different view on certain things than we do.  A phone to them is very different from what it is to us.  The phones are their connection to friends and a whole digital life.   In a strange coincidence, my partner asked to see my phone last week.  I said no. Pretty sure it would have ended very ugly if she tried to snatch it out of my hand and go through it!   It sounds like a authoritative approach is escalating the issues with your son.  It is possible he is pushing back to try and assert his Independence.  While I agree parents need to guide teens in to adulthood my experience you can not dictate rule to them.  Would you be open to a more collaborate approach to setting limits for your son?     ... View more

Hi @nick99    It sounds like very tough time you are continuing to experience. We always want the best for our children and it is very tough when you want to help and are unable.   Are you able to keep in touch with your son?  Can you reach him on social media etc? It might be possible to keep communications channels open and be able to support your son as he develops?  ... View more

Hi @Online123    Welcome to the parents forum.    That sounds like a worrying situation, upsetting for you and your son, as well as the concerns around being threatened.   Is your son under 18? In any case the best approach would be to contact the police, they should have a department that specialise in online crime so touch base with them.     Hopefully you can get the support that you need, there may be some other parents here that have been through something similar and can provide some suggestions in how you can support yourself and your son in this difficult time  ... View more

Hi @Online123    Welcome to the parents forum.    That sounds like a worrying situation, upsetting for you and your son, as well as the concerns around being threatened.   Is your son under 18? In any case the best approach would be to contact the police, they should have a department that specialise in online crime so touch base with them.     Hopefully you can get the support that you need, there may be some other parents here that have been through something similar and can provide some suggestions in how you can support yourself and your son in this difficult time  ... View more

Hi @Justin_T,   How are you going this week? Have you had a chance to look at some of the posts and suggestions from @Dad4good and @PapaBill?   We would love to hear how you are going and talk things through a bit more. Really tough space you are in right now and our community is behind you when you need to chat ... View more

Hi @Chloe2007    how old is your daughter?   What sort of relationship is your daughter looking at ? There is a lot more to learn as a teenager than academics skills and knowledge Social skills also need to be developed.  I saw my sister in law (widow) totally ban relationships and the daughters just ignored it and hid their boyfriends.  That prevented my nieces getting any advice where they could have used it.       ... View more

Hi @Redrobin    Staying at home can be a good thing.   Some people are introverted some are extroverted.   How does your son interact with others when he does?  Are they positive and his social skills are developing as you would expect for a 13 yr old? Does he engage with others on social media, computer games etc?   What is he doing when at home?  How does he interact with the rest of the family?   With my daughter she is fine, she just likes to relax in the comfort of his home then it might just be how she recharges "Introverted"  as apposed to going out and spending time with people "Extroverted"   As I would like to see here out experiencing her life more, I am always trying to get her to go out and do things but it is a fine line between encouraging and nagging.    I just have had to learn to accept this is who she is.   ... View more

My heart goes out to your family. Time may make it better but I agree that an autism expert would be the way to go. Professor Tony Atwood and his team offer many services but cost money. Did you know you can also refer as a concerned person in someone’s life? That way your daughter doesn’t have to go. She might even go with you and get more comfortable with the idea. Big hugs ... View more

Hi @mamabear19    This sort of thing boils my blood.  Schools these days seem more interested in protecting perpetrators than protecting students.     How is your daughter?  Is she suffering ongoing issues with the boy returning?  Do they interact in classes etc? Would your daughter be open to external councillors i.e. outside the school ?    Depending on the way your daughter is feeling it may be appropriate to consider moving schools.  I know that is not fair on your daughter but it might be best if she is adversely effected by the boy still being in the school.  My step daughter moved schools after an incident of bullying (not the same I know) and that helped her. I am not saying that is the answer,  just something to consider. ... View more

Hello Taylor, Thank you for the response and such wise words. Yes the relationship with our daughter was filled with sharing moments, engaging conversations and in depth meaningful ties. Her choice to distance herself from her entire family was indeed heavy on our hearts as we did not anticipate this. She was the peace maker and the one who united all parts. Her absence is very much felt by each of us. However as a family who practice respect, love and contentment we have to accept it. It is not easy to any of us and I say on behalf of our family. We had tried to reach her without any success. So after almost 8 months and many many emotional hurdles dealing with this I had started to deal with this in the realms of my emotional consciousness. I have been asking why and the reasons for this lesson. What I can learn from it? Where does it hurt? When I choose to suffer? When I choose to feel the pain? What do I do with it? Where to grow? How to better deal with this to the point I do not break but rather surrender to the situation I am in and accept it with an open heart. I had been through anger, frustration, profound sadness and so many feelings which had nothing but paralyzed me. The feelings I had nourished at the beginning  did nothing but victimized my own self. Did not really help towards growth. I had a choice, either I would sit in a corner and cry everyday or live my life. I had opted for the second one after victimizing my own self for many months. Therapy is not the traditional set of a divan and a psychoanalyst but rather what I came across as family constellations. I had done one session when this is all started and I am engaging on the second one in few days. It did help a lot because I could see why I made the unconscious choice of victimizing my self. Now I am about to engage on a much deeper level where I could see only one remedy. To surrender wholeheartedly to the choice our daughter had done. To surrender with an open heart, with love and respect. I am ready for it. Through this journey I had engaged in many readings, podcasts, creativity, healthy cooking; I made time for me. I made time for being kind, generous to myself. There were long walks and meditation ( a lot of it) to quiet the Ego voice and let the heart speak rather than the mind. This journey reminds me constantly that the love for our daughter is much bigger than the choice she made so there is no reason why I should ally myself with a choice that is not mine. The best I can do is to surrender, to accept with an open heart and live my life the best way possible. I am about to engage onto the second family constellation with the same therapist who helped me over one year ago. I believe the elements I need to this last step I will find it and then will start to work in order to practice full acceptance so I can live peacefully the life I choose for me and very importantly do not expect, hope or imagine anything beyond what is real and what is now. ... View more

hi @hermum76    It is heart breaking to see our children hurt, and to see it from someone we love is even worse. I don't have a personal experience with this so I cant offer any wisdom based on what I found work.   How is your eldest with others?  Surely your eldest has had to learn to get along with others at school (maybe work?)   Your eldest is right she cant force her self to like someone she doesn't.  Nor can we force changes in the way our children feel about things.  What she CAN do as a parent is demand your is our children behave in civil manner towards others.     The reality is your eldest needs to learn to positively interact with people she doesn't like as she moves in to university / work.     I would suggest observing the behaviors of your eldest and identify which ones are unacceptable and addressing the behaviors with your eldest. Teens are the masters on non-verbal messages so be sure to look for  rolling eyes big huffs and sighs abrupt answers or ignoring conversations etc etc. Maybe ask your youngest what upsets her the most and if that is something that is unacceptable address that with the eldest.   When raising it with the eldest, I suggest addressing the behavior with out the youngest around.  Make it about the eldest having to learn to behave civilly with those she doesn't like because you have to when you are an adult.     ... View more

Hi @Bnwcbw00    It certainly is a tough situation.  My response is quite long winded as I went through this beside my partner 3 years ago!   My partner had the exact same issue.. My partner and I went away for a 5 day holiday leaving her 16 yr old daughter at home (Grandmother is 5 min walk away) and came back and found her unemployed 19 yr old boyfriend had been moved in after he was kicked out by his parents.   Months went along and the relationship between mother and daughter nose dived.  My partner was being driven out of her own home through steady deteriorating behavior from her daughter.  During this time my partners mental health continually was under assault and she was racked by guilt and anxiety.    After about 18 months later my partner snapped and one day told them they had to move out she was selling the house and moving in with me.  Her daughter and boyfriend moved back in with his parents 5 days later and my partner still has her house.   My partner now sees her daughter 4-5 times a week for breakfast and coffee as they finally settled in a place around the corner on their own.   The point our story is while it seems like my partners world was coming apart she hung in there with her daughter and never stop loving her. In the end we had a happy ending but it was a terrible journey.     So some things to think about.....   Some important things to remember about you: You have the right to choose who does and does not live in your home. You are NOT responsible for what happens to your daughters boyfriend. There is a difference between generosity to help those in need and being used.    Some important things to consider about the boyfriend: Is the boyfriend working to become independent or just taking advantage of the current situation?  It sounds like he doesn't have a plan to become independent and if that is so IMHO he is taking advantage of you and your daughter. Unfortunately some times people end up living in cars.  Sometimes it is their choices that lead them there, sometimes it is beyond their control. If you are giving him time to arrange his own accommodation and he doesn't then the consequences of that are on him.   Some important things to consider about your daughter: At 18 yrs old your daughter is an adult and make her own choices. If she thinks living in a car with her boyfriend is better than living in your house that is her choice.  Threatening to move into his car and actually doing it are two different things. Sometimes you have to let your children make choices we don't like to learn the reality of how the world works.     What should you do Every situation is different.  If my partner had been as hard on her daughter and boyfriend as I would have been she probably would not enjoy the strong relationship they have today.  So the advice I would give today would be different than if you asked me 3 years ago.   Here is what I would do today   Love your Daughter... Tell her you love her and want to support her. Decide what you can and can not live with.  Are you willing to have him stay some time?  Is he paying board then that should be addressed ASAP.  My partners boyfriend had to pay board when he was staying with us though it was well short of his actual costs!  Discus the situation with your daughter.  I say this not because the discussion is important.  Based on what happened to my partner you wont get agreement.  Discussing the situation models adult problem resolution and to let he know you are not being unreasonable.. Let your daughter know you can not support her and her boyfriend indefinitely. Set a limit on how long he can stay.  Give him a fixed limit to get something sorted out. Regularly remind him as time goes by they have 3 weeks remaining, then next week 2 weeks remaining etc.  Make sure they know you are serious and time is passing When you get to the end of the time.. ACT - be firm and cut him lose.  If you daughter choose to go, remind her she is NOT being cast out, you love her and she is always welcome back in your home.           ... View more

Hi @Spaceace2019,   Just checking in to see how you are going? Have you had more time to think about how you will approach this situation moving forward? ... View more

Hi @Katubb,   I can hear the pain you are going through at the moment, and from the bottom of my heart I am so sorry to hear how hard things have been with your son  I can't begin to imagine what you have gone through, but I want you to know that we are here to support you    You have mentioned some really challenging experiences over the last few years with your son. Where there are changes like you have described in your son, it is understandable to feel a sense of loss of the person he was before.   Dealing with so many difficult experiences, your self care, wellbeing and safety is equally as important. What is your support system like at the moment? Do you have people around you to help with the impact this situation has had? Are you physically safe at the moment?   We are always here to lend an ear when you need someone to speak to    ... View more