Hey, @Names I hope it's okay that I chime in on your post.    Thank you for being so honest about how you're feeling at the moment. As I read your post, it struck me how stressful it must be for you to feel triggered by your daughter and being pregnant.    It sounds like you could use some support to help you respond to your daughter's questions and behaviour. I'm conscious that our content and resources might not be as helpful as other services as some others due to our age bracket (12-18 years).   So, I thought I'd share some services and content that might suit you better:    Family Services Australia offers a range of support options to parents. They might have some ways of supporting you through the situation with your eight-year-old.  Parent Line is a telephone support service run by counsellors. This might be a good option if you need to chat with someone about a particular situation for advice/further support.  Another option could be to chat about your concerns with a family GP who can put together a mental health care plan for sessions with a psychologist.  Raising Children's Network has extensive content on everything "parenting", and their resources are organised by the age. I've provided the link to the "school-age" section of the website. Let us know how you go and if you have any questions at all!  ... View more

Hi there @Tiredmumofboys    I'm really glad you decided to open up about your son. After reading through your post, it's so clear that you're doing your best to manage an overwhelming situation which I can imagine is tough with their father away for work.    I'm also relieved to read that you have some support from the boy's grandparents. With this said, it sounds like you feel the situation is becoming challenging for the whole family to cope with. I can imagine how tired, stressed, and emotional you must be feeling right now, and I was curious to know if you have a support person to call on when you're feeling overwhelmed by it all?    It sounds like a lot is going on for your son, and school seems to trigger a lot of emotion for him. It's great that you've been open with his teachers, and I wonder if there's potential for them to provide more support with this situation. How would you feel about discussing this with the principal and possibly the school counsellor?    I also want to acknowledge the incident when your son shared suicidal thoughts. That must have been very upsetting and concerning for you to hear, and it sounds like you handled it beautifully by trying to distract him and getting support from his Papa.   I'm hearing that this situation is feeling urgent, but you have worries about how long it will take to get the support you and your family need right now. Given the recent escalation and its impact on yourself and your sons, it sounds like booking time with your GP would be an important next step.    We're going to contact you via email to explore how to support you best. So keep an eye out for that when you have some time.    You're doing an incredible job of navigating this. Thank you for reaching out, and I hope to hear back from you soon.    ... View more

Hi there @girldad_2    Thank you for sharing your question with us.   It can be pretty tough to know how to best support little ones when they're expressing big emotions. It's lovely to see that you're curious about the best way to approach the situation when it arises.    As we support parents and carers of teenagers, I thought it would be helpful for me to send some resources that are better suited to your daughters' age.    Raising Childrens Network have a tonne of articles and videos on just about every parenting question you could imagine. I searched their site for information about tantrums, and they have a bunch of advice and information here.    I'm not sure if you've come across the National Parent Helpline, but they could be helpful if you need support and a chat with someone over the phone.    ... View more

Hi there @Jackster75    I hope it's okay that I chime in on your thread too. I'm so sorry to hear that you and your family are going through what I can imagine is a very stressful time.    We've shared some resources already, but I am wondering if you would benefit from us sharing some youth and family support services?    Drug and Alcohol Counselling Online might be a good organisation to contact for support.    Community Legal Centre (SA) could also provide helpful information for your situation.    Family Services Australia can link you and your family with support during this difficult time.    I hope those services can rally around your family and help you manage this situation going forward. I have just sent you an email to see how we can support you as well, so when you get the chance, it would be great to hear from you.  ... View more

Hi there @brave1990    Thank you for sharing this with us. It must be heartbreaking for you to know that your 12-year-old is self-harming. How are you coping with the news?    You mentioned that you don't see her much, which must be hard when you feel worried. Is she living in the same household as you at the moment?    This is such a difficult position to be in as a parent, but I hope that having a counsellor involved is helping. Please know that we will listen to your concerns and provide support where needed.    I thought it might be helpful to send the resources we have on self-harm for you to read - here is information on self-harm, and here is some content on what you can do to support your child.    Hope to hear back from you soon.   ... View more

Hi there @Survivor323    Thank you for sharing your concerns with us. I wanted to say, first off, there is no need to apologise for venting to us. That's exactly what we're here for, and no one person's challenges are more important than the other.    As you said, it's good to address things before they boil over, so good on you for being proactive about this. It must be so hard working full time, keeping a household running and, on top of all that, dealing with stomach cramps due to stress.    It must be uncomfortable for you, and I think it's a perfectly normal reaction to worrying about your children and being aggressively yelled at yourself. But, if I can provide any reassurance, negotiating boundaries with grandparents who provide care is a common challenge for many parents. Can I ask if you've spoken to the children about the yelling?   It sounds like a big part of the stress you experience is also the complexity of raising your concerns with your partner - that must be so tough. I can imagine that compromising on the arrangement would make a difference - your need for space after work is not petty at all.    I'm curious to know, are there times you and your partner could communicate about a challenging situation in a positive way? Reflecting on that, I wonder if there's anything about those times that could help with navigating a conversation about this situation?    I'd like to share some resources that you might find helpful:    Relationships Australia could be a good support service to connect with. They offer counselling on all kinds of relationship dynamics. Maybe chatting with them will help you find the best way forward.  Parent Line might be a good helpline to call if you have a bad day and need someone to chat to. They have counsellors trained to support you with all aspects of parenting.    Let us know what you think and if there's anything we can do to support you through this.    ... View more

Hi there, @QuinlansParents, thank you for opening up to us about what is happening for you and your family.    You have explored many ways to approach supporting your son, and I can see the exhaustion you must be feeling come through in your post. I want to acknowledge how hard this must be for you to put one foot in front of the other when it feels like nothing is helping.    I'm glad you've decided to reach out, and I'd like to see if we can make some suggestions for services that can support you and your family. I've got a few ideas for you:    Family and Child Connect can be contacted for advice and practical support. You can look at their website here and give them a call on 13-32-64.  Mental Health Carers Australia could also be a good service to make contact with. Their website has information and a hotline to call to access information and support. That number is 1300 554 660.  Family Relationship Advice Line is a hotline for families who have been through a separation. As you mentioned your son's bio mother, I thought this might be helpful as well, and they can be contacted on 1800 050 321.  Autism Spectrum Australia could be a good bunch to make contact with - you can take a look at their site here. I'm sorry to hear that nothing has come from applying for NDIS. It might be worth calling this service to see if there's any advice or support they can give you with the application process - their number is 1800 277 328.   It strikes me how much you have on your plate - raising children, running a household and undertaking a degree is hard work. Can I ask if there are any times throughout the week when you're able to rest and recharge?    Thank you for sharing so openly, and please know there is no judgement. I hope those few suggestions open some doorways for you.   I have made a few edits to your post in line with our community guidelines. We will check in with you via email also, so please keep an eye out for that and get back to us when you have a spare moment.    ... View more

Hey there @OzDreams    I hope it's okay to hop on your thread check ink-in with you.    This sounds like an incredibly concerning situation to be in, and I can imagine you'd be worried about your daughter as well. So if there's anything we can do to look into support for her, please let us know, and we can send through some services.    You're doing the right thing by seeking support for your daughter's friend. We've sent another email today to let you know what we can do to help with this process.  ... View more

Hey there @hoelscher    I just wanted to chime in here to thank you for sharing with us.    It sounds like your daughter is going through a tough time, and we'd like to support you both in any way we can.   So I thought I'd pop a few links to services in case that's something you want to look into at some stage:    Headspace has an information page here for parents - which might be good to check out. If you decide to find a new psychologist, they might be a good place to start.  Neami is a national community mental health service, and you can search for services in your area using their directory here.    I can imagine how stressed and worried you must be right now. If you have any more questions or concerns, please let us know. We are here to support you through this!      ... View more

Hi there @Emmila and thank you for sharing this with us.    I can imagine that most parents would feel the same if they were in your position. I bet you spend the whole day missing your daughter, and to come home and hear her calling someone else mama would hurt.    It's a tough position to be in, given you weren't heard when you tried to have a conversation about it. Family dynamics are so complex, especially when living under the same roof! Of course, you don't want to hurt your mum, which probably makes it nerve-wracking to bring up.    It sounds like setting boundaries is important to you right now, and you have a right to express your concerns and wishes. How do you feel about bringing this up again with your mum?    I thought I'd share some resources with you - Raising Childrens Network has tonnes of great articles on family dynamics, boundaries etc. They are split up to suit the age of your children as well, which I thought might be helpful as our forum supports parents of teenagers.    In saying this, we're happy to listen and support you in any way we can.    ... View more

Hi there, @Lizberry251, and thank you for opening up to us about your son.    I'm so sorry to hear that your son has said he will no longer communicate with you and your husband. I can imagine how hurt and stressed the two of you must be. It sounds like you're loving parents, and setting boundaries is part of that. Although the situation has escalated and emotions are running high, I want to acknowledge that the two of you clearly have his best interest at heart - which probably makes it all the more painful when things blow up.    As a step-child, I witnessed my brother go through similar issues with my step-dad - if I can provide any reassurance, it would be that the closeness shared between step-parent and child trumps these times of resistance - a life-long bond is hard to break. That's not to say it's easy in the present moment!    Provided your son is safe, it sounds like some breathing space might not be the worse thing for the three of you. How are you feeling about him being out of the house?    I'm curious to know whether you'd find it helpful for us to send some support services to you? I'd be happy to send through some ADHD and drug use specific resources to you if so.    Hope to hear back from you, and take care.      ... View more

It sounds like you have taken many approaches to support your son @Nowayout, and I can imagine how exhausted and stressed you must be at the moment.    Feeling as though you can't win, no matter what you try, must be horrible. You sound like an incredibly resourceful and determined parent who is doing everything in their power to improve the situation.    I want to reassure you that we are here to hold space for you when things are tough - sometimes, just getting it all off your chest can help to get through the day. Are there any activities that allow you to relax and refresh at this challenging time?    If it's helpful for you, feel free to keep us updated as things unfold, and we'll do what we can to support you.  ... View more

Hi there @Lumos welcome to the community!    You mentioned two of life's greatest joys - sharing funny pictures with your bestie and hugs with loved ones - so glad to hear you have that!    I wanted to chime in here to let you know that we're glad you opened up about your youngest feeling frustrated and scratching himself. That must be heartbreaking to see, and if we can support you with this, we'd really like to.    Have you considered chatting with your family doctor about the scratches? Feel free to create a thread by clicking on this link, so you can have a space to talk more about this, and we can support you some more there.  ... View more

Welcome to the community @Seaside39 - I'm so glad you felt comfortable sharing your story with us here. I can see the pain and exhaustion you're feeling. But, you've come to the right place, and I want you to know straight off the bat that we're here for you.    By reading through your post, I can tell that you are a loving and resilient parent. It's so reassuring to see all you've done to support your daughter. As you said, your daughter has been through a lot in life, but I can see that you have given her the stability and care that all children deserve. I just wanted to acknowledge that    I'm curious to hear a little more about the kind of support you have and if there are any self-care routines you have that keep you going through all of this. I know that families in similar situations benefit from connecting with other adoptive families and carers - is this something you've ever looked into?    It sounds like you and your family have been on a long therapy journey, and now that her new doctor is noticing signs of BPD, I hope that even more avenues for help open up to you all. As you said, talk therapy may have only scraped the surface for your daughter. Can I ask if she's tried any trauma-specific therapies?    I can see that the past few years have been incredibly trying, and I bet it's hard to see her resisting therapy. I can imagine it brings up a lot of emotion when it feels like nothing is working - the good news is there are many modes of treatment that seem to resonate better for people with BPD.    I'm aware that I've asked many questions in my response, but I did want to ask how you feel about your daughters' self-harm + if you have enough support with it?    We hope to hear back from you, and if there's anything we can offer that you feel would support you and your family, please let us know.  ... View more

Hi @NeedHelpPLZ     I hope it's okay that I chime in here with some referrals to support services that might be helpful to you right now.    The Family Relationship Advice Line could be good to call. You can contact them on 1800 050 321 for advice and further referrals to local services. I hope they can give you information regarding your rights and responsibilities.    I can only imagine how tough this situation is on you and your family. If there is anything we can do to support you, please let us know.  ... View more

Hi there @Kmum8 and @Mez21    I'm glad you've been able to find each other here and see that you're not alone with the heartbreaking time you're both experiencing with your daughters.    In saying that, I can see you're both feeling at your wit's end, and I think any parent in your shoes would feel the same way. To bear witness to such massive changes in your teen is confronting, to say the least.    What is very clear to see here is that you both care deeply for your girls and are trying your best to do what is right for them under incredibly challenging circumstances. I can imagine it feels like an uphill battle, but I believe that being a consistent, loving presence in your teen's life does make a difference, even if it doesn't always feel like it.    If you feel comfortable sharing, I am wondering if the two of you have a strong support network for yourselves at the moment? Family, friends or even a counsellor?    We'd be happy to send through some family support resources if you think that might be helpful. In addition, we do offer a free 1:1 parent support service that you can register for here if you're interested.    In the meantime, we are always here for you to rant to, and that's something you never have to make apologies for!  ... View more

Hi there @Billybluenose12    It sounds like your family have been going through an incredibly difficult time. I can imagine being apart due to work and border closures is tough on you all. How are you and your family coping with it all?    I'm sorry to hear that your son has been struggling. It sounds like you and your wife have tried your best to support him by connecting with the school and a counsellor. You mentioned that your son goes off the rails, and I was hoping to better understand what that looks like for him.   Do you feel comfortable sharing some more about that?    I also wanted to let you know that I edited some of your post so that it aligns with our community guidelines, which you can read here. We provide peer support and mental health support here, but we steer clear from diagnosing. Chatting with a GP about your concerns might be a good first step if you have questions about a diagnosis.  ... View more

Hi there @MVA50    Thank you for reaching out to our online community about your sons ADHD diagnosis. It can be a lot to process when your child receives a new diagnosis. How are you and your child feeling about the news?    I'm happy to see you've had another parent share what worked for them. When I was diagnosed with ADHD, it was helpful to chat with others who had been through it too.   One piece of advice I received was that every person reacts differently to medication and doses. That alone was helpful for me and allowed me to find what works for me with the support of my doctor.   ADHD Support Australia might be a helpful website to check out as well - they provide resources and workshops for parents.  ... View more

Hi there @JB700    It's not good to hear that things have got a lot worse. I hope the one-on-one support service is helpful - it sounds like it would be a relief to chat with someone about how this situation is impacting yourself and your daughter.    I agree that parents come here to vent and seek support - please feel free to continue sharing what is going on for you if it helps.    The hurt you are going through is something I know other parents here would relate to. As you said it goes against your parental instinct to step back. Can I ask if you have a support network around you at this time?    I also wanted to let you know that I made an edit to your post in line with our community guidelines. If you have any questions at all feel free to ask.  ... View more

Hi @jaq021404 I'm glad we can support you through this, and I'm really feeling for your family.    You sound like a loving father, and while your son mightn't know how to communicate how he feels right now, I'm sure your presence brings him comfort in this time.    I'll share some digital mental health services that your son might find helpful while waiting for an appointment.   We have a mental health forum for young people which you can check out here. Head to Health is a portal for digital mental health services. They have a page here on support for young people (age 12-18 years).  BeyondBlue and Headspace both have online forums and chat services too.    Feel free to let us know how you go with those organisations, and please reach out whenever you need.  ... View more

This sound like a heart-wrenching position to be in @JB700 thank you for opening up about it and asking what you can do to connect. It’s clear that you’re a caring parent and are doing everything in your power to remain present in your daughter’s life.    We have a bunch of content about how to navigate family conflict which you might find helpful to take a look at. This page has videos and articles on how to support your teen through family conflict. We also have a one-on-one support service for parents which you can register for here.    I’m wondering if you have legal advice during this time? If not we’d be happy to send through some resources for you to look at it if you think that would be helpful.   Let us know if there's anything more we can do to support you through this tough time. ... View more

Hi there @jaq021404    Thank you for sharing what is happening for your family at the moment. Times of grief can be so hard to navigate, especially when everyone's experience of it is so different. I can imagine it would be hard to see your son's going through such a heart-breaking time and noticing their distance.    After reading your post I felt it was important to acknowledge your compassionate and proactive approach to your son's mental health. It sounds like you're ensuring all the right support people are involved. While it must be difficult not knowing what was discussed with the GP it sounds like your son did open up enough to get the referral to the psych.    Wait-lists are tough, and we've noted lots of parents sharing similar concerns, especially during covid. In the meantime, I wonder if your son would feel comfortable getting support on a digital mental health space?    You mentioned he spends a lot of time gaming and reaching out to mental health services in a digital space is often helpful for young people, especially when waiting for face-to-face supports to come through. If you think this is worth looking at we'd be more than happy to send through some resources.    One organisation I thought might be helpful to your family is Feel The Magic - they provide support to young people experiencing grief. Let us know how you go with them and if you need any other suggestions or support.  ... View more

Hi @cingin13 and welcome to the Parents forum I'm very sorry to hear that your ex-husband’s relationships have been impacting you and your daughters. It is completely understandable that you’re feeling exhausted from trying to explain his choices to your teens, particularly when his situation has been changing and evolving rather quickly.    I’m also sorry to hear about your ex’s attempts to have your eldest daughter removed from her school when she stopped maintaining close contact with him. It sounds like you are doing your very best to create stability in your daughter’s life and give her the best opportunities to succeed, but that this sense of consideration and effort is not always reciprocated by her father.   I know from what you’ve told us that only your 15-year-old daughter has a relationship with him – do you ever have concerns for her wellbeing when she is staying at her dad’s place? You mentioned that you know that you can’t control your ex. Knowing that his behaviour might not change, is there anything that might help you to feel less frustrated and more supported while you’re attempting to navigate co-parenting with him? Is there anyone in your life that you talk to about your frustrations with him and how his behaviour impacts your daughters?    From what you’ve shared, it sounds like you’re doing a really great job of providing a safe space at home for your daughters to explore their feelings around their relationship with their dad and how his relationship breakdown has affected them. I hope you don’t underestimate the impact that creating this space has because having one reliable parent who is open and empathetic can make all the difference.    We’re here for you @cingin13. ... View more

Hi @amina it sounds like you are trying your best to help her get to school. It's great to hear that her school are meeting with you. It must be difficult fitting this around your work and day-to-day life.    When I was young I struggled to go to school, even though I love learning. I was struggling with my emotions and that was making it hard for me to go to school.    I can't say for sure that this is the case with your daughter, but I'm wondering if you think there could be things happening at school that are making her unhappy?    Lots of parents are going through this at the moment and we have a space here to chat with other parents if you think that would be helpful.      ... View more

Hi @John_kp I'm so sorry to hear your family are going through such a difficult time. I can imagine how distressing this would be for you and your partner.    I'm wondering if the two of you would find speaking to a counsellor or family support service helpful at this stage? If so, we'd be happy to link you in with some resources.    We empathise with the concerns you have for your daughter and have sent you an email to see how we can support your family through this when you have some time to read it.  ... View more

Hi @Happydaughter thank you for coming here to get support for your daughter. It's clear that you're a loving parent, and I believe that trumps all the challenges teen years bring. However, that's not to say that this situation wouldn't be concerning for you.    We've noticed school refusal has been an increasingly common experience for young people and their parents, so we created a dedicated space for parents going through the same thing to connect. Click through to that thread here if you're interested in having a read.    We also have some great content on school refusal:    How to help a teen who doesn't want to go to school  Learn how to tackle the school system confidently   It's really positive that you've connected your daughter with a counsellor - hopefully, those sessions will help you both understand what it is about school that is making your daughter unhappy. Do you have some good support people around you at the moment?  ... View more

Hey there, @enorman thank you for sharing this with us.    I can imagine how challenging it must be to find ways to approach your daughter with a boundary, and I know you are not alone with that.   We've heard from many parents sharing very similar concerns, and hopefully, the community can share their experiences/tips with you. We actually have some articles on boundaries and teenagers, I thought this one might be helpful to read.    Can I ask if you are well supported at the moment? If you feel like you'd benefit from chatting with a counsellor or parent support service please let us know and we'll send you some resources.      ... View more

That sounds like a heartwrenching night @MotherOfOne I am so sorry your daughter and yourself are going through such a hard time. As hard as that long night sounds, I can also see that nothing has stopped you from taking active steps to get support.    I hope the youth service you found is a good fit for your daughter, how is she feeling about it?   You are always welcome to check in with us if you ever need some help with resources in the future or just a chat.    I'm glad to hear you are coping well and have good friends by your side - sounds like your daughter has a strong support network around her and that is what is most important right now.    Also, I wanted to let you know that I edited part of your post. We believe it's important to create spaces to discuss self-harm and to do this safely there are some times we make edits using our community guidelines. If you have any questions about them at all, please let us know    ... View more