http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/news/nsw/what-your-kids-wish-you-knew-young-people-give-advice-to-parents/news-story/ac6fb0d7afb394e6c8ce706b6fe82fbc#itm=newscomau%7Chome%7Cnca-homepage-network-most-popular-masthead%7C1%7Cwhat-your-kids-wish-you-knew%7Chomepage%7Chomepage&itmt=1498601172344   I found this really interesting and was discussing with T1 &T2 this morning. They could really resonate with the final paragraph of the 10yr old girl. And they impolitely told me I thoroughly fail at tech..  such humour they have! ... View more

I read (well before children) that the teen brain is actually upside down when MRI's are done. Scientifically this is true. In the USA schools started doing trials of schooling at night for many reasons. This was in the early 90's.   It found that teens who attend school at night have higher grades, school attendance is extremely high and the teens are far more aware than during the day of their MH and doing the right thing.   Teens don't like mornings or day time this is when their brain tells them they must sleep. Remember the brain is upside down.   They learn better because they are awake at night - remember they all like to stay up all night.   They do not get into trouble because the malls are shut there is nowhere else for them to go.   They are aware and able to communicate better because they are all on the same page.   They are us in reverse. There are people who can stay up all night and teach and do. I have no idea how many schools are now involved. Perhaps one day I will get the time to read again..   Over the past few years I have tried and do remind parents that it's not because the teen wants to annoy you it's because neurologically that is their wiring until around 23.   Of course, this all makes complete sense and I try to let my teens stay awake on Fri/sat night and sleep in. It's hard for me but very beneficial for them.. Much like the endless growth spurts - I've given up on buying clothes well anything really except petrol to drive them everywhere, endless food and visits to counselling.   And I just have to tell you that we are finally getting fresh eggs again. A few of my girls are laying - we have had no eggs since Feb. Everyone had warm eggs for breaky and 2 cakes are in the oven. It makes for great communication with the girls and very few arguments as long as T2 gets the right egg from her preferred hen.     ... View more

My girl is 14 and has been failing at maths for well over a year. I have been advocating for her with the maths teacher and getting nowhere. I asked T1 for all of her maths books tests etc. It only took her a term typical teen so I had a look at the previous 6 tests they have done. Her twin sister 14 is SN, she is getting higher marks every week. So T2 decides to tell me how the system works I asked her for her maths as well. I had a look at what they learn in class and the tests just back that up. Very repetitive. T1 spends her time screaming she doesn't understand draws and writes all over the tests every week. The teacher gives her A's.. Keeps her in the highest group and my girl is a perfectionist so it is one of the  major MH issues in her life. How do you convince a teacher to accept there is an issue. She is also a top English student mid gr 9 level she will spend her time writing and drawing. That is fine but she won't concentrate on other subjects. She has been reading my medical books very intelligent and our conversations are amazing. I like her to have time out but 12 hrs in her room drawing the same face is doing my head in.. The maths issue is making me feel very frustrated that I have been unable to even get her tutoring. She has got a scholarship but it hasn't started yet. ... View more

Remember those days when we were younger?   We had our great grandparents, grandparents, parents aunties and uncles sitting around the kitchen table with cups of tea - convicts mine were! They all lived in the same house, next door, next street .. We had 4 generations in our house when I came along, it was off you go but I was far more interested in the latest "Can you believe so and so .. what were they thinking, the shame on our family, so and so is pregnant (catholics it happened wkly) don't you know this is how you treat that behaviour.. and then the change after deaths - oh well good innings, crying, got on with it. As I got older and understood we younger generation would then share the adult snippets and share with whoever else listened.. sharing amongst the village.   Adults came out to play, others food, to watch and laugh at the antics we produced and passed it on over a roast dinner how much fun the kids had, bones broken and taken to the ambulance tobe fixed- hospital was only for major issues. Measles, Mumps, dark curtains ice cream and jelly .. and no school. Colds/flu - lemon and honey no GP .. I remember my mum wrapping my head in a kitchen towel as it would stop the bleeding and I could continue swinging on the backyard line..   As the generations ended so did our support systems we relied on others. Life was changing, families moved apart, letters became our lifeline, lollies were no longer 15 for 1 cent, fresh fish stopped coming out of the hessian bags, tractors no longer driving down the beach to help get the tinnies in.. The trams of the cities and the paper boys on the corner screaming the afternoon news with all their papers in tow.   As I look back it was difficult for that time just as it is now, money was scarce sometimes food consisted of dripping and leftover bread with mold. People didn't get sick they died of old age, the geriatrics would run naked out of the hospitals with the police and nurses chasing them on foot, Anzac day soldiers always fainted in the church.. but then we had easter and midnight mass and the eggs and bacon in the middle of the night. We felt so lucky and a present generally socks and a lolly was a great gift. Home made crickets bats were a dream.   Today we all feel so judged from birth to death. We wonder if we are good enough, for our families, ourselves, education, jobs, life.   The difference and really there isn't a lot - we have no money we spend before we get it, we have media for our village and did I mention we have media..  judgemental, reinforcing how bad and unacceptable we are.. we need to have what Jack and Jill have otherwise nobody will love or care about us.. we just don't accept help because we don't know how to. We say sorry when we aren't at fault, we apologise for our kids, our kids are missing out on the very thing we had as children - nothing and yet we had the ..   VILLAGE   and everything they don't have emotionally.   This topic obviously is close to me, a lot of my parenting is old fashioned, very old fashioned. I cringe when my teens in front of their friends in the school grounds come running up to me kisses and cuddles telling me how much they love me.. I find it embarrassing (I'm hard wired) teens don't do that..   When they started school I kept the tears to myself because it wasn't acceptable.  I yearned for the village - it ran to work. These days my chooks allow me into the outer world - eggs for a cuppa in exchange, eggs for community in exchange for company and leftovers for the animals, my mental health is not great because I don't have my village.   I've raved but like everyone I don't have answers, I rely on other parents who have the same issues but we feel so afraid to ask in case we get called stupid.    How about you guys?       ... View more

Miss 14 decided (rare) she was going to have a meltdown about nothing.   I have been renovating our house for the past 18 mths and have decided it's time to build storage as we still have boxes in the garage unopened..   The laundry walls had to come down - I said to her here I want you to get rid of some of that revolting behaviour and handed her a 5kg hammer. Her eyes lit up. I said, go find your sunnies for protection..   Out she comes dressed ready for town. I quietly laugh, show her wear to start, close the door and have breaky outside in the sun.   I hear her screaming: I can't do this, I don't want to do this, I am hopeless. I walk back in what's the problem??   I can't get a hole in it.. I give it a few shots - I turn to her and say hey that's ok not even Mum can do it (I could)give it another go - she is fuming - I think this wall is going to come down in a hurry..   I hold the hammer with her and say, lets try this together.. bang the hole opens. I tell her you are so great at this, I'll come back later..   The hammer flies before I make it out the door - she laughs.   A few hours later the wall is down, she is exhausted but I praise her for doing such a great job, she gives me a hug and walks off. Whatever was wrong was forgotten but I knew at her own pace I would find out and life would travel along again. A win for a few hours, who knew.. ... View more

So I sit and watch my 16 featherless girls running around the yard, some breaking the ice on a h2O container, some greedily eating the corn and the sun hitting the towels on the line steam pouring off them.   My 14 yr olds are soundly sleeping and my eggs are not being delivered hot out of the box. It's annoying me a lot! T2 SN is a budding chef no eggs, T1 adores the eggs and my neighbours are frantically knocking on my door - it's not sugar they want - just an egg.. even just 1..   T2 has walked out screaming I want to run away a long, long way.   This is my welcome every morning - it's been 2 yrs since she came off meds. I have finally come to the conclusion after coping like a trooper that she must go back on them. She has thrown one to many knives and we have had to put them out of reach..sighh   We have a new paed.. finally she's number 12 and is ringing me at home with updates and letting me know we are finally getting the care. My T2 has most of the letters after her name, she is a swimmer and a runner she is no more. Her knees buckle, her feet no longer work in the water.   The paed has demanded the school come to the party, they are not too interested but the girl cannot spell, her words are still back the front and she still manages to get A, B's.   She doesn't understand, she just doesn't process. She hears in the car - for a sentence of shoes on, hair brushed and remembers the last 3 words only. Toddler stuff.. I thought 5 was a turning point.   T2 is so demanding. She doesn't particularly talk but yells. Finally she has friends.. she judges consistently everything/one. Yet again toddler.. at least on her good days/hrs the light shines brightly she is so helpful and loving and consistent, I know it won't last - I hang in there until we both walk away.   She just drives me absolutely nuts, much like those 16 girls outside.   We also have 2 little roosters, fortunately she adores the biggest one. They still live in the house she cuddles Stormy every night it's one of the few things that really calm her down. He isn't crowing but it's coming and as he is an Orpington absolutely huge soon he will not fit in her lap - he is already in the 5th cage.. another sighhh..   It's only Saturday of a 4 day weekend, by the time it is over I will have had quads for 3 of those days. I look forward to 8.30 AM Wednesday 14th.. and I know I will make it because like all of us we power through, yet again! ... View more