Hey @Sadmum20    I'm so sorry that this awful situation is happening for you and your family. It must be so horrible to have had such terrible things said about you and your baby, and I really feel for you. I understand you're going through mediation at the moment, are you getting any support around this? I was just having a google for legal supports near you and found this legal service for women that might be able to offer some support or advice.  There is also the Family Law Support Service near you that can provide advice from lawyers and social workers, is that something that would be helpful for you?  I'm sorry you've not received any response back from your children on email, it must be truly heartbreaking to not hear back from them and to not have had contact with them for months. If you wanted to have a chat with someone about how you're feeling, Parentline offers one-on-one phone counselling from 9am - 9pm Mon-Fri and 4pm - 9pm on Weekends.    I hope some of this information is helpful, let us know how you're going  ... View more

Hi @mumwithfaith  I'm sorry you have had to go through so much with your son, this must all be incredibly overwhelming, I'm glad you've reached out for support. Its really great that you have tried to engage your son in supports like a psychologist and talking to his grandfather, I'm sorry these options haven't had the positive impact you were hoping for. I'm wondering if his school has been able to offer any support or guidance? Sometimes schools are able to offer some advice or support with engaging students, particularly when they are heading into their senior years. Here is a link to a page from the Raising Children Network about teens using alcohol and other drugs. It suggests positive role modelling as a great step in helping your children, which is something that you are already doing  There are some other great tips in there that you might find helpful as well around where to get help like a GP, is that something you think could be useful?   I also want to highlight that it is so amazing that you are managing all of this on your own and that you deserve to have support as well, is there anything that you do to look after yourself? If you wanted to have a one-on-one chat with someone about what you're going through I can suggest calling Parentline, they offer phone counselling to parents and are available 8am - 10pm. I hope this is helpful, let us know how you get on  ... View more

Hey @JeremySF  Thanks for posting on the forum, welcome!  It sounds like you and your daughter have a really lovely and close relationship. It's great to hear about all the ways that you support her, and good on her for having such wonderful goals!  It's tricky to say exactly why she has recently started wanted to be really affectionate with you, have you asked her about it? Maybe it could be an idea to ask her if there have been any changes for her, and ask about how the affection makes her feel? Its really good that you've got such an open dialogue with her therapist, I would definitely recommend keeping this conversation open with them and letting them know of any changes or concerns you have. It's also totally within your right to get a second opinion if you wanted to. I'm wondering if you have any support for yourself? It's important to make sure you're able to look after yourself and get the support you deserve too @JeremySF  ... View more

 Hey @GreenB  I'm so deeply sorry that you are going through this, it must be so scary that your son is feeling this way, I'm really glad that you've reached out for support here.  I understand he has seen his counsellor once, maybe it might be a good idea for him to see a counsellor/psychologist more regularly? He would be able to get a mental health plan from his GP, do you know if he has a good GP that he could chat to about what has been going on? A GP is often a good starting point for working out the best care, they might also be able to suggest some supports around his ice use. We have some content which I'll link here and here about what to do when your young person is suicidal. If he is in immediate danger it's crucial to get professional support as soon as possible, - call “000” or take them to hospital. It is lovely to read that you've never shown disappointment in your son and you're his number 1 fan, I understand this feels conflicted for you at the moment and you're concerned for the safety of your young children as well. There is a service that could be helpful for you to look into, its the Family Drug Service, they have a 24/7 support line and online support as well, is this something you would be comfortable looking into? Please keep us updated with how you're going, we are here to support you through this and chat about things with you, thinking of you @GreenB  ... View more

Hey @Nitro  Thanks for getting back to us. How are things going with your sons youth worker? I'm wondering if perhaps your son could be struggling to fill his day a bit? As he's not at school and is home alone in the day, could he be finding it challenging to use his time?  ... View more

Hey @MumOfThreeTeens  This situation sounds really tricky for the whole family, thanks for coming here and sharing whats been going on for you. It's lovely to read that you've talked about this situation a lot as a family, having that open communication with all family members can really make such a difference. I understand you've tried a few different things to get it to stop, but you say the mean comments soon come back, have you tried having an agreed upon consequence for when this happens? I'm going to link a content piece from the Raising Children's Network about sibling fighting which has some suggestions that could be worth trying, one of them is having house rules that are agreed upon by everyone, is that something you could try? Another one of the suggestions is to get some external support, starting with a GP to possibly link in with a psychologist, what do you think of this idea? I'm not sure if this will be of any comfort, but I wanted to share my own experience that my brother and I fought wildly as kids and teens, but are now as adults the best of friends - we even decided to live together for a few years. I appreciate you feel time is running out, but please don't give up hope yet! You've clearly created a loving environment where your children are able to talk to you about how they are feeling and this will set them up to have great relationships as adults ... View more

Hi @Gebadia  Thank you for posting your experiences here, school refusal is an issue that we chat about a lot on the forums, you are not alone in having this issue. It can be so upsetting watching our loved ones go through this.  We've got a content piece here that has some great tips in it about school refusal, it also has a video in it that is quite helpful. We've also got a thread here where other parents have spoken about school refusal which might be good to look at for some other perspectives.   I'm wondering if your son isn't interested to see a counsellor in person if he might be keen to get some online support from eheadspace or Kids Helpline?  I'm also curious if the school has been able to offer any support? Sometimes schools are able to give some guidance around school refusal, have you found this to be the case? Let us know how you're getting on.  ... View more

Hi @singersmum  I'm so sorry to hear of all that your family has been through, that is a whole lot of devastating events to experience, I'm sorry you have had to endure so much.  I am hearing that you're concerned that your daughters anxiety has gotten worse, how is she feeling about her psychiatrist appointment this week? It really shows how deeply you care about your daughters wellbeing that you were able to support her to attend other therapeutic appointments. Did she find any of them helpful that might be worth revisiting?   It's horrible feeling like you've failed someone. From what you've said about her self-awareness and her ability to try lots of different things to look after herself, it sounds like you two have really been there for each other and are helping each other heal. And you posting here looking for support and advice is evidence of how much you love her and are invested in her wellbeing. She is lucky to have you looking out for her and supporting her through everything.  Another possible option for her to maybe look into if she was interested was getting support online rather than face-to-face, like through Kids Helpline or eHeadspace, she might even want to check out our Youth Forums where she can connect to other young people and talk about what she is going through and feeling. Do you think she might be interested in any of those supports? I'm also wondering if you wanted to chat about getting support for yourself, its so important to look out for our wellbeing when we're caring for others and you deserve to get support too @singersmum. Is there anything you do to look after yourself?  ... View more

Hi @Brandon  Good on you taking your son to a GP and counsellor, its great that you took that step and would really show your son how much you care about his wellbeing. It can be so shocking and distressing as a parent when a child engages in self-harm, you have done the right thing by showing him how much you care. We have a content piece here on self-harm that might have some hepful tips and info for you to look at.  It's can be really tough when teens don't seem to be engaging in friendships outside of online spaces, though it is good that he has found some support there. Do you think he might be interested in checking out our Youth Forum? These forums provide a space for young people to talk about their mental health in a supportive way that is anonymous and safe - the forums are moderated from 9am - 11pm. This could be a way for him to connect with people his age and get some support from peers who may have had similar experiences. Learning from home has definitely had a huge variety of impacts on students this year, there is no need to blame yourself, I'm sorry you and your family have experienced this. I'm wondering if your son is still engaging in counselling, or other supports, to chat through this shift in confidence?   Given how draining this situation must be for you @Brandon, I'm wondering as well if you wanted to engage in any supports for youself? Parentline offers 1 on 1 counselling for parents to chat through any issues they might be experiencing and could be a good support if you wanted to talk to someone directly. I hope some other parents are able to offer their support here as well.  ... View more

Hey @Dino1  It can be so tough that your daughter is saying that nothing is working and no one can help her, it's still really great that you gave therapy a go and are clearly so engaged with trying to get her the support she deserves.  Good to hear that moving schools has helped and she is a lot happier there, have you had much contact with the school around this issue? Sometimes schools are able to offer some guidance, particularly around transitioning into year 12.  I'm wondering if there is anything about being at school that is hindering her focus? Do you think there could be something specific about school (such as bullying or stress around workload) that is getting in the way of her wanting to go? I understand that she doesn't want to engage with a therapist again, could she maybe be interested in other modes of support like phone/webchat counselling? Kids Helpline and eheadspace might be options for her to try if remote support interests her as they both offer telephone and online counselling services. She might even like to have a look at our Youth Forums where she can connect with other young people who have experienced similar issues. These forums are moderated 9am-11pm and are completely anonymous.  Let us know how you get on  ... View more

Hey @Theformermissm  Thank you for sharing your experience with us, I'm so sorry you and your family have had to go through all of this, what a horrible experience and so incredibly disappointing to hear about how this has been responded to by his family and people at school. It's truly disgusting that she has lost so many friends and he gained friendships, my heart goes out to your family, you do not deserve any of this.  Would you feel comfortable to tell us a bit more about the response from the school? Are they aware of what happened and the bullying that is going on? The school has a responsibility to intervene when students are unsafe, do you feel they are responding? In terms of supports for your daughter, do you think she might be interested in seeing a different counsellor/psychologist? There are also online/phone services she could try for 1 on 1 support including Kids Helpline and eheadspace that could be worth looking into if she might be more comfortable with that. Its such an awful feeling, worrying that your child might harm themself, its great you are wanting to get support for her and being proactive about her wellbeing - she is lucky to have you looking out for her. I'll also pop link just here from our website that contains a list of services for people who have experienced sexual assault, or are supporting someone who has, if you think more specific support might be helpful. You could also let her know about our Youth Forums, these are for young people 14-25 and are moderated between 9am-11pm. They can be a great way for young people to connect with each other and talk about how they're feeling in a safe, supported and anonymous environment.  Please let us know if there is anything you want to chat through or would like more information on, thinking of you and your family    ... View more

Hey @Robbo  School refusal is something we chat about a lot on the forum (as you can see on this thread), you are not alone in experiencing this issue.  Its really good to hear you've been communicating a lot with the school, have they had any guidance to offer you? This is a link to a content piece we have for parents who teens are refusing to go to school, I hope you find the info and tips in it to be helpful. Has your son indicated that there are any other reasons he doesn't want to go to school? I understand he says he is unwell, is there anything else he says is an issue or any changes you've noticed? ... View more

Hey @muneca21  So lovely to read about your support for your daughter and your desire to educate yourself  Could you ask her to educate you? Teens are pretty amazing at telling us all sorts of things we have no idea about! Thank you for sharing, let us know how you go.  ... View more

Hey @Izzy_1  Great to have you here! Good on you booking a coaching session, I hope you find it really valuable In terms of forums to chat about LGBTQI+ issues, were you looking for a forum for you or for your child? For you, it could be worth checking out the Sexuality and Gender Identity section of the Beyond Blue forums (link here) There might be some more specific discussions there that could be helpful. Our youth forum is for young people aged 14-25 where we have many threads about sexuality and gender, though I understand this may not be the age bracket you're after.  We're also happy to provide any support we can here, and there is a wealth of knowledge from other parents on this forum too which I hope you find helpful and supportive  ... View more

Hi @JessicaJD90  Thank you for posing this very interesting and thought provoking question! Could you tell us a bit more about where this is happening?  There is definitely a stress on teenage girls having to worry about potential pregnancy, what are your thoughts on this as a solution? ... View more

Hey @Brk81  This is such a tough decision and a really tricky spot for you to be in right now. Do you feel pressured to make the choice right now? Or do you have some more time to talk it through with your partner further? I hope other parents are able to jump on here and provide support as well but if you wanted to chat to someone one-on-one you could maybe try Parentline. They offer phone counselling to talk through any issues related to parenting, if you think that might be helpful for you.  Let us know how you get on  ... View more

Hey @Sil77  Thats really good to hear you've come to a decision about speaking to the school and that you were able to find parentline helpful in making that decision. Let us know how you go. In terms of contacting one of the bullies parents, that could be a helpful way to start the conversation between families and allow other parents to be informed about what is going on, how do you think the parents might respond? So sorry to hear about the pain and anxiety that this is all causing you, your love for your son really shines through in your posts and he is so lucky to have you looking out for him. Did you find speaking to parentline helpful in terms of managing your feelings? Or would you like to talk through some other options around this? We are here for you @Sil77  ... View more

Hey @Sil77  Glad you have come back to the forum to chat about what's been going on for you. I responded to your post from a few weeks ago here if you wanted to have a look. Sorry things haven't improved for you and that your son has been angry and aggressive towards you, that must have been quite scary for you. Our Child and Family Professional has written a piece here about children using aggression and ways to manage which might have some tips for you.  I understand that you're willing to change schools but concerned about it becoming a cycle, is this something that has happened before? It awful that your son is being bullied and his friends may be treating him differently because of his intellectual disability. Does your son feel that starting fresh at a new school is the only solution to these issues? I'm so sorry to hear the impact this is having on you, if you wanted to chat to someone about how you're feeling it could be worth looking into contacting Parentline, here is a link to their website, they offer one-on-one counselling to parents to speak about what they're going through. Hope some other parents are able to jump on an offer their support as well      ... View more

Hey @Roadhammer2  Sorry it's  been tough for you lately, with a baby coming it would be so good to just focus on that excitement, sorry you've not been able to do this given the circumstances. Would you feel comfortable to tell us a bit more about what is going on for you? Is there conflict between you and your partner? Or are things tricky with the children she has with her ex? Just want to get a bit more info so we can chat with you more about support    ... View more

Hey @Hopesprings123  How did things go with seeing your daughters psychologist with her?  You said you would try and find someone to talk to as well, let us know if you wanted to chat through that with us.  I think @AmberP is highlighting the power of looking after yourself  I hope you're able to get the support you deserve @Hopesprings123 and we're always here for you too. ... View more

Hey @AusQldMum  Thank you for posting this experience and posing this very interesting question. We see a lot of posts on the forum from parents who are in blended families and are navigating the diverse parenting styles and views with their partners - you are not alone.  It's lovely to hear how much you love all the kids in the family and are able to talk about things openly. It's also great that you have been able to establish firm boundaries and it sounds like that is something you really value.  Sorry to hear this conversation with your partner turned into a big fight, I think you're right that it is very much a personal choice. What I'm most interested in, is how his daughter feels about it? Affection with children is a beautiful way to show love and it can also teach physical boundaries where kids learn that their bodies belong to them and are empowered to reject physical affection when they don't want it.  It's important that children are comfortable to say they don't want to engage in physical affection and have that choice respected. I can't say if there is a specific age when this affection should cease, do you feel it makes sense that the child should be the one to decide this for themself?   Thanks again for asking this question, I'm also really keen to hear other parents thoughts on this    ... View more

Hey @HH1204  What a rough time you and your daughter have been through, its awful to feel helpless when our loved ones are going through such turmoil, good on you for getting her help and trying different things to support her.  It sounds like this has been going on for a while, I'm wondering what has been helping you both get through during this time? I understand her medication doesn't seem to be working and she isn't interested in counselling anymore, is there anything that has helped her feel a bit better or given her some joy?   It sounds like saving for the car is an important goal to her, perhaps you could use this to speak to her about things she is looking forward to in the future?   We have an article here about what to do if a teenager doesn't want help which might be useful to look at, and an video here from a psychologist about parents support teenagers experiencing depression. These might be able to give you some ideas about what to do next.  If you'd like to get some one-on-one support, it could be an idea to have a look at our parent coaching service here. In this service you can chat to a professional from the Benevolent Society about what's been going on for you and chat through options for moving forward.  I hope some other parents are able to jump in and offer their insights, you're not alone @HH1204    ... View more

Hey @OzzieMum  Thanks for posting and giving such an informative idea of what's going on for you and your family at the moment. I understand that your sons behaviour is making you concerned for his future and what this will mean for him going to high school, have you spoken to his current school about these concerns? Have you found his school to be helpful in talking about his behaviours? I'm also wondering if when you went to see the psychologist if they had any recommendations for you? I understand they assessed him, did they say there was anything in particular to be concerned about? I'm not sure if this is helpful, but speaking from my own experience - I was definitely a little trouble-maker/class clown/Bart Simpson type in primary school, and going to high school really sorted me out. I became much more responsible about my learning and engaged in my schooling in a more meaningful way. Not saying this will definitely be the case for your family, everyone is different of course, but thought I could share my experience of how the change in environment helped me mature ... View more

Hi @Allanah  Sorry you're going through a tough situation with your son and feeling quite lost. I understand your situation is similar to those discussed in this thread, would you be comfortable telling us a bit more about what is going on for your son? Its so tough when teens are withdrawing from family, are there any supports you've found to be helpful? Hope some other forum users are able to jump on and give their thoughts    ... View more

Hi @Sil77, Thank you for sharing about this really awful position you're in at the moment. Its clear how much you care about your son and want to do the right thing by him and you're concerned about betraying his trust by contacting the school. It must be painful for you to know your child is being bullied and that this is quite possibly the result of your son disclosing something so personal to someone who was his friend. Its a really upsetting situation for all of you, its horrible to watch someone we love be so hurt, and I really feel for you. It's tricky that you're getting a lot of mixed advice in terms of whether or not to tell the school about what is going on, was it helpful last time? Or was it outweighed by the subsequent teasing? Its lovely you're being so sensitive to how this might effect your son, its hard to say what the result will be or what will happen if he moves schools. He has said moving schools is something he wants, how do you feel about this idea?  ... View more

Hey @Canada1970  Thanks for getting back to us, it's great to hear from you again  That is wonderful that you and your daughter are finding therapy helpful and that you're spending time with family and friends. Also great to hear no new allegations have come up, are you feeling as though things have settled quite a bit?   It must be a very intense time with covid and the upcoming election, you said its taking its toll, i'm sorry to hear that. Does it help to talk to other people in your life about it?  ... View more

Hey @DadStress , great to hear back from you!   That is a shame that she is finding the headspace counsellor a bit robotic, glad to hear she said it's getting somewhere and that you're chatting with her about it so you can monitor how that is all going. There is always the option to ask to see a different counsellor if you're both thinking that might work better - not saying you necessarily should, but its good to know the choice is there    Ah that does sound like horrible friend drama for her at the moment! I hope that will settle soon too, these things do chill out sometimes, it's good she's speaking openly with you about it and allowing you to check in - she must really trust you to share these dramas with you, that's pretty special. And great she has some other friends at drama class, can be so valuable to get fresh perspectives from different friends.   Sounds super hectic for you both! Wanting to fit a lot in is so tempting, but it's important to have time to do nothing together. I hope you find a few moments of peace this weekend      ... View more

Hey @Marleym00  Thanks for sharing this with us, its so lovely to read about how you're supporting your son - and its always great when young people educate us on things we know nothing about! How wonderful he was able to share information about pansexuality with you. I think the suggestion you've made that he could speak to his older sister is a great one, I'm sure he would really appreciate being able to speak to another family member that he trusts.  I'm interested to know a bit more about what him telling you this means to you? Sometimes sexuality can be fluid for people and sometimes it can take time to work it all out. It sounds like your son is reflecting on what his sexuality means to him, he is the only person who can know for sure whether this is his sexuality or if things might change again - and its great he's got you on this journey. He clearly really trusts you and you must have such a close and special relationship for him to share this with you    ... View more

Hi @Trev937  This situation sounds really tricky, sorry you are having to navigate this. Does your daughter want to go on the playdate? You said she doesn't like the other kid, I'm wondering if her mother knows about this and would still want to go through with the date if your daughter doesn't want to? Some parents have agreements around who is allowed to be in their childs life, I understand you have expressed your disapproval, could it be possible to come to a compromise with your daughters mum about these boundaries?  Its definitely a tough one but its great that you care so much about your daughter and her wellbeing, she is lucky to have you.    ... View more

Hey @gdot21  School refusal can be a huge issue for a lot of families, thank you for sharing what it's been like for you. I'll put a link just here to all of the forum discussion threads around school refusal so you can have a look at other parents experiences. Apologies if you have already looked into this, but when a young person is refusing to go to school it can be good to check that there isn't something specific going on at school that is making them not want to attend such as bullying. I understand she hasn't really had friends to spend time with, do you feel this has contributed to her not wanting to go to school? We have an article here about school refusal, it also has a video at the bottom where a parent speaks about her experience with her daughters school refusal. It also has some tips that could be useful to have a look at. I hope some of this is helpful, let us know how you're getting on.    ... View more