Hi @Mumof3boys definitely sounds like a worrisome situation with your son. No wonder you are having trouble sleeping and concentrating at work. I tend to agree with @Ngaio-RO and @taokat about being cautious about moving schools. If your son wants to move schools to be closer with the group of boys who are using drugs, does not sound like an ideal situation. It would probably make it harder for you to influence him not to take drugs, if he has more exposure to the kids that are using.
You mentioned that you tried to set some rules that did not work. What sort of things did you try?
It is such a challenge at this age. Kids at this age want to be more independent, however are still very much dependent on their parents. It is also so important to have consequences if the rules are not followed.
I learnt this the hard way! My daughter use to run off if she didn’t get her own way, or lie about where she was she could sneak off somewhere else. I had rules, but I didn’t follow through with any consequences. It was easier for me to give-in rather than battle with her, which didn’t stop her behaviour as she knew she could get away with it. I would be in tears and tearing my hair out because she would continually not do what I asked. I was so mad once, I took everything out of her room I could physically carry…
In the end, what I found worked best was to have a list of rules, and if any of them were broken she knew the consequences ahead of time. This made it easier to implement and it took the emotion away when things got stressful. I also found it helpful to set rules that in the end she actually agreed were reasonable, such as “mum has the right to know where I am”
Things are a lot better now, but it took a very long time, tears and sleepless nights!
Here is a link to Setting Boundaries that you may find helpful click here
@taokat also has a great suggestion about the Coaching. They will also help you to put some practical tips into place.
... View more