Hi guys, First of all the important stuff: my son (depressed, suicidal, anxious, self-harming in 2016 -17) is now happily at a new school. No days off since August last (fingers crossed). Took the bus home on his own yesterday for the first time (nervous Dad pretending to fiddle with the car out the front - very glad to see him walk into our street). I'm also feeling stronger after a period of exhaustion in late 2017. So that's all good. Not so good however is the old school, who treated my son very badly, in my opinion. They ignored his extreme anxiety about people knowing the details of his illness and treatment and shared his confidential medical reports with quite a few staff and even an external consultant, after they had assured us that the reports would stay in counselling (and after my sons specialist asked them in writing to keep the number of people involved to a minimum). The stress of thinking "everybody knows about me" put his anxiety through the roof. They made a decision in March 2017 to "encourage" him to leave the school, and to this end the Deputy Principal contacted us a number of times giving us every reason he could think of to get us out: "we don't have the resources", "if we expel him it will be harder to get into another school", etc etc. This is also after the specialist had made it clear to the school that attending school was a protective factor for my son. We made it clear that we did not want the risk of moving him to a new school because it would increase his stress even more. These discussion reduced my wife to tears and caused her to have nightmares. They continued after we made it clear we didn't want to move him. I'll point out here that this was not a public school. It was a fairly expensive independent school. We picked it because we thought the extra-curricular activities would really suit my son. The school had the hide to suggest that the local public school was "better resourced". I checked the My School website, this independent school had twice the budget per student compared to our local public HS. Finally, when we politely asked for permission to discuss what we saw as breaches of the Privacy Act, the Principal wrote back and threatened to "reconsider XXXX's enrolment" (i.e. expel him) if we did not co-operate (i.e. if we didn't just roll over and forget his rights under the Privacy Act). By the way, you will notice we were bending over backwards to keep these guys happy (asking for 'permission' to discuss something). Didn't work. At the same time my son's anxiety about going back to this school spiked. He could not return in Term 3, and I don't blame him. The school unofficially maintained that they were worried about my son being violent. My son has not had a single incident of violence at school (or at home), his discipline record is perfect. Twice he went to see a school counsellor and expressed his anger. The first time after a kid rubbed a sandwich into his face. He has food allergies and has been hospitalised for a similar assault before. He did not approach the other student (no physical or verbal approach) but instead went to the counsellor who asked him how he felt. My son replied along the lines of "I hate that kid, I want to kill him" and when prompted made threats against kids who had bullied him in the past. Apparently the way my son said it made the counsellor concerned, although frankly I'd be really angry too. Keep in mind my son was also trying to adjust to various new medications for depression and anxiety. That was the trigger for the decision to get my son out. A few months later my son needed a time out. He went to counselling hoping to sit quietly for a while, which was something we had arranged. The counsellor saw him, and asked him in to his office. Luckily I got to school very quickly, and I found two counsellors "interrogating" my son. They were leading him, and almost delightedly asked my son to "tell Dad about the gun". It took me no time at all to calm down my son, and to work out he had been telling them about a toy nerf gun. In case you don't know, they fire foam bullets. At home we sometimes have an all-in family shoot out, with foam bullets flying everywhere. Nevertheless the two counsellors told the Principal that they were afraid of their own safety. The Deputy told us he thought the counsellors were "burnt-out", and the Principal arranged it so he would not have to see them again. By that time it was too late, my son could not face that school and we pulled him out at the start of Term 3. I know some of that sounds ridiculous. Right now we have lodged formal complaints with the Privacy Commission and with the Human Rights Commission (for disability discrimination). I don't know how that will go. I'm acting on behalf of my son, who tells me he wants to protect other "children and families" he might be in the same situation. I don't have a lawyer, and it is a bit of a strain (I do have some experience as a state government regulator in a former life, so I think I can manage for a while). I've decided I need to have a go at these people. I don't want it to be a vendetta, I think that is a negative approach. But I do want to do something, these people have to understand they are not above the law. So....does anybody have any suggestions or thoughts. Super long post, thanks for staying to the end. Cheers
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