Hey @Tulip, how is your foot today? That must've really hurt and I can understand your hurt over your daughter's seeming lack of care. It's just my daughter and myself as well, and I understand how upsetting and frustrating it can be when our teens act in a manner we see as selfish.
I had a really interesting conversation about the subject of selfishness with a psychiatrist I saw on Friday. I was saying that I got really upset and annoyed when my daughter wouldn't help out around the house, or even pick up or clean up after herself. It makes me feel disrespected and like she thinks I'm a slave, there to tidy up after her, when she gave nothing in return.
I was reminded and assured that teens don't think the way we often think they do. My daughter doesn't leave her stuff lying around thinking "mum'll get it, that's her job". I was reminded that my reaction is triggered from a past experience that actually has nothing to do with my daughter. She's not anyone from my past who has hurt me or treated me badly, and she doesn't think like they do either. She's a teenager, and while her actions aren't always great, she doesn't think in the way adults do.
He assured me my daughter loves me, and I do know that, so I hope I can assure you that your daughter does love you very much too.
I'm so glad you talked with your daughter and feel she heard you. Even though they don't think as we sometimes assume they do, I was also told it's totally okay to let my daughter know how it makes me feel when she does certain things. It allows her to understand where I'm coming from.
I hope your daughter helps you out a bit more while you're out of action. It's a great opportunity to show her you trust her ability to do more for herself.
Sending hugs and hope your foot heals quickly
... View more