Hi @Graeme, It must be such a hard thing for you to be dealing with. As these other wonderful and insightful parents have mentioned, having suppport for yourself is very important as this is such a heartbreaking time for you. My situation is a little different, as I'm the parent raising the child who has no relationship with their dad, due to different circumstances than yours, but I wonder if the youth psychology is similar? My daughter's father, and his family, have chosen to be absent during her life, apart from 2 failed attempts at contact. Very sad. 18 months ago she decided she wanted to meet her dad. So long story short, we did that, but she quickly became cold and unresponsive towards him and didn't want to see him again for our second meeting. (We'd always had postive conversations about her dad, and she grew up being told he loved her, so there was no bad mouthing him.) Her dad and I went to see my daughter's counsellor so she could educate him on her issues. She had warned that not wanting anymore contact was to be expected. The counsellor advised him to keep up weekly contact, telling her about his week, maybe send a photo from where he lived (NT), or of his dog (she loves animals). She advised him not to ask how she was or what she was doing, but just to tell her that he loved her, was thinking of her, was there for her if she needed and would be in contact next week. The idea was that he would build trust with her where she knew he loved her no matter what contact they had - that he was there for her first, and could put his wants and needs aside to provide hers first. I hope that makes sense! So as a mum on the other side, I agree with just keeping in contact, keeping up your emails to him. Be a reliable constant in his life. He's still so young and whether he is showing it or not, I can bet he's missing you. Anger can be so confusing to deal with, as it can come from many places. And it's awful to be on the receiving end of it, especially when it's coming from your child. Quite possibly if questioned, your son may not be able to explain why he's so angry with you. Not that that makes it any easier for us parents! It's very clear you love and miss your son immensely. These hormonal years can be so difficult to navigate. I used to be told to always be Kinder, Wiser, Stronger.
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