It is a hard gig hey @taziness, and a lonely one at times.    My daughter is 14, 15 next month. She is actually old enough to leave on her own but she has awful psychosis which is not yet fully managed. She hears voices and is surrounded by 'ghosts' and she becomes very frightened, so I don't like to leave her if I can avoid it.    She won't go and stay with family to give me a break and my other main support networks are online, so it has been tricky. I'm so looking forward to a couple of days away though.    How do you manage with support and asking for help? It must be hard for you with three.    Loved your pun, "few have time to reachout"! It is so true what you say though. ... View more

Ahhh thank you so much @Ngaio-RO. Now I know! I knew there had to be a reason for it :-) ... View more

Hi @Ngaio-RO - yes, the muuuuum!! Sometimes I want to run and hide! Too funny. ... View more

I did learn something new @Ngaio-RO which is great. I hadn't actually clicked to see all the topics, so my viewing had been limited.    One thing I do wonder about, is why next to some of the topics they have a red conversation icon, whereas most of them are black? What does that mean?     ... View more

I'm ready!!     ... View more

Fantastic walk through! ... View more

Hi @Diannebrown, nice to meet you.   Your son sounds like a treasure! It's so great that he loves his dancing so much. It would burn up his excess energy!   I look forward to chatting with you in the forums. ... View more

Hi @Diannebrown, Ngaio has provided some useful information I'd recommend reading.    ReachOut's online coaching course for parents is a great way of learning new tips and strategies in dealing with teens. It's such a difficult age, with the brain basically restructuring!    I've had a very difficult teen and agree that patience and consistency are the key. Being human, it's normal to become frustrated with our kids, but that's ok too. My daughter learnt forgiveness and compassion by me showing the same. Picking your battles is also important or you feel like you are at war consistently!   Our job as parents changes as our kids get to their teen years which can be really hard. We need to step back a bit and allow them some safe decision making. Negotiation is a great skill to have during these years! The more your friend's son feels validated for his better behaviours, he will show them more often.    Let us know how your friends gets on. There's lots of support here.     ... View more

Hi @AnxiousMum, that's a really tough situation your are going through with the school. I can understand why you would be so frustrated as it sounds like you feel nobody is taking this bullying seriously. I would feel the same, it seems astonishing that you were not contacted.   I think you've done the right thing in putting it in writing. That gives you a record of contact with the school. Seeing it's been three weeks with no word, I would suggest maybe calling the school and following up.   I hope your daughter is ok and the bullying hasn't continued for her.   ... View more

Hi @Ngaio-RO, Thanks for your reply. Yes, I've tried many things, without much success.   However, I am taking a weekend away before August. I've organised it with my parents so that one of them will come and stay with my daughter.    I'm really looking forward to that! ... View more

I would choose:    Rosa Parks     Jane Austen   and   Helen Keller ... View more

I'm not sure how common my situation is, but over the last few years asking for help hasn't really worked out for me. My daughter's father has never been around for her, so he's out. I don't have local friends, and my girl has been so poorly behaved around other friends, we are not invited anywhere anymore.   She refuses to stay with her grandparents, so although they would love to help me out more, they can't. My daughter is very good at shutting people down, so I have had to learn to pretty much keep to ourselves, look after myself the best I can, and soldier on!   I've lost friends because they don't understand and I guess it's too much for them. Friends take it personally if I'm not in regular contact, so I do the juggling game and am forever apologising to appease.   I would love to hear others experiences.  ... View more

Hi @annie, welcome to the community :-)  ... View more

Hi @dazzlejazz, I just wanted to check in and see how things are going with you and your son. I hope you've been doing ok :-) ... View more

Hi @Ngaio-RO   I can't say no to the begging cat lol! I would be more than happy to do that. Let me put together a few things to start out the topic.   Great idea! :-) ... View more

Hi @dazzlejazz, thank you, I will accept your hug! I hope you're feeling like there is support for you having found ReachOut :-) I think it's quite understandable to unload on those closest to us when our coping mechanisms are completely exhausted. I'm glad though that you and your husband have been able to work through such awful times.    My daughter is doing pretty well now, thank you. She's working hard (so far) to get through year 10. She has her issues that are ongoing, but in comparison to where we were, things are much better. It's tiring though, she's at home 24/7 and sometimes I must admit I miss having time off. I do lie - she plays tennis each week for 90 minutes, so that gives me an hour each week taking out travel time!   I relate to your hospital experience. It was always a 4-6 hour wait for help. One night she was taken in after an episode around 7pm. At midnight I walked out with her. She wasn't fed and naturally after waiting so long she was agitated again. On one occasion the mental health people she did see told her they would organise to get her a dog - because that's what she wanted. We live in a unit with 2 cats!! I said no, but they didn't listen. So many stories I could share about mental health and hospitals!    Self care is difficult when your child is suffering. You kind of feel guilty if you're doing something that makes you feel better. After a few years of feeling like that myself, I finally listened to what was being said to me. I realised I couldn't continue on or be the best I could be for my girl, if I didn't take the time to recharge and be kind to myself. I believe it helps me cope better now. Sometimes I forget until I feel myself losing patience, and I need to remind myself to be my own best friend. Check out the topic on self care, there are some great tips.    I wonder what would entice your son out to fix his motorbike? It would be interesting to find out what thought process it is that is stopping him.    Keep in touch.     ... View more

I forgot to mention in my novel that I'm currently undergoing EMDR treatment myself for depression. Once my daughter's medications are sorted and her psychosis is under control, she will be trying EMDR as well. It has worked wonders for me... http://emdraa.org/ if you want to have a look. ... View more

Hi @dazzlejazz - firstly a big hug - they can be lacking when times are so tough.   Your situation is most defintely a difficult one, and your title 'Can't do this anymore', struck a cord with me. I have been in that position, and to the point where I have asked my daughter to be put into foster care. That didn't happen, thank goodness, but there were times when I really was at my wits end and had no hope for a better future for my daughter.   It sounds like you are a very supportive, open and loving family, so your son has a headstart there. I know the benefits of it seems nil at times, but the fact that your son comes to you is actually huge. It can be burdensome though when you don't have the answers, and to feel that burden is ok. (We're human - we're parents - we just want our kids to be secure and content, and when they're not we suffer with them.) It shows you have created and nurtured a strong bond with him, which is more than a lot of parents have with their kids, struggling or otherwise.    I also relate to your situation with services and counselling. We were knocked back time and time again for much needed help, for various reasons. Can I say the best help we had was from The Benevolent Society. We had a case worker for 2 years who taught me so much and who cradled us through some extremely impossible times. I highly recommend their services! ReachOut also run a parents coaching course which is done online. I have my last follow up session this week, so having done it I can highly recommend it. I'm sure Sophie or Ngaio can give you more info if you're interested.    My daughter has been isolating in her bedroom for over 12 months now, and is educated via distance ed due to her isolation. Over the years we have formed a very strong bond which is her lifeline at times. It also benefits us as my daughter can be sucked down by her depression too. With love and offering whatever support she needs, I sometimes talk to her about her role in her own life, and the fact that this is her life and only she can decide what she wants to make of it. Only she can reach out and make the most of services offered to her. Only she can decide to help herself and learn to manage her mental health issues to create the best life she can. Or she can choose to do nothing and continue on in the same way. She sometimes kicks and moans but it seems to get through and she is quite proactive now. It sounds harsh, and feels harsh for me sometimes, but it's a lesson she needs to learn as I'm not always going to be around. How do you think your son may react to a similar conversation?    My daughter has bipolar I, PTSD and anxiety. All mental illnesses, including depression, are real. They aren't a choice, so I hope you understand I'm not trying to say your son or my daughter need to just snap out of it. I would never be so disrespectful. For my daughter, she has come to learn that having a choice in how she manages it all, gives her empowerment. She can say 'I have....' instead of the overwhelming belief that 'I am...'   I hope what I've said makes sense and that I haven't rambled too much.    Please let us know how you and your son are going. Remember to take care of you in all of this too. With the right help and the right medication/s, things can improve. I think my little family is living proof :-)   You're doing an awesome job. Hang in there. ... View more

All I needed to do was give permissions for the app to run! So setup is actually incredibly easy. Just follow the prompts. Once it's working it lets you know it's running in the background via a pop-up.   Reword app icon shows on the Google Chrome toolbar. I've been trying it out. When you login to Twitter, it highlights and draws a line through words or phrases that need to be changed.    You can add to their database of not nice words or phrases as well which is a great idea.    I think it's a fantastic app and hope that it can be expanded to be used on all texting platforms.   If your kids use Twitter, I highly recommend Reword.     ... View more

Self care for me is doing something for me, purely for me, with permission to cut off from the stresses around me, if only for 10 minutes to sit outside with a cup of tea.   I agree with @Ngaio-RO's comment that doing things for others that make us feel good, is not actually self care - we are still giving to others. I think that is more 'purpose', which is still important for our wellbeing, but different to self care. Giving to ourselves is what constitutes self care for me. Being our own best friend for a little while.   I like to potter around in my garden, write, call a friend, meditate, colour in, do my nails or watch a movie are some examples of my self care. Being grateful for something each day I find makes my self care easier.                     ... View more

Hi @Ngaio-RO   Yes, it's definitely something. I think I'd hoped I could do more, I had a few suggestions! But actually, having those supports in the sidebar that's on each page is giving people resources right then and there if needed. That is a good thing!   I've sent through an email with the link.    Thank you 😊     ... View more

Hi @jkadavil   Lovely to have you in the community.    Your top top tip is a great one! Open communication is so important and keep our kids known to us! ... View more

Hi @Sally-RO   We're testing it out at the moment. It requires Google Chrome to be installed which can be done on both IOS ad Android devices.    We use IOS, so just trying to work it all out - I might need to contact support!                ... View more

I can't believe I missed it! Life doesn't always go as planned! ... View more

Thank you for the encouragement Ngaio. It's been an experience that's for sure!   I have two positive things to report. First one is that I did report the moderators of Roast Me for harrassing me in the AskReddit sub - all their comments were removed. A bit of a victory for anitbullying!   The second - and not huge - Roast Me did take up my suggestion of at least putting up place people can go to for mental health support if they need it. None of my other suggestions have been taken up but they said they will discuss raising the age limit to 18. I won't hold my breath on that one though!    Hopefully I will have the article written by the end of the week. ... View more

@Bree-RO As much as I'd love to, I can't claim the idea as my own! It was actually an idea Ngaio suggested, I've just run with it. My daughter and her friend decided on the name 😊   The internet is such a difficult place to police. Reddit admin support the subreddit, and cannot understand why I would report it to them. I'm not sure who would be able to do anything about it?         ... View more

Oops - duplicate post... ... View more