Hi @Goldenthing and welcome to the forums - we're so glad you've joined our community.
I wanted to let you know we edited your post in line with our community guidelines because some people reading may find some words distressing.
I wanted to say that I think it takes so much courage to share what you're going through - it sounds so stressful and difficult for you and your family.
Firstly, I was wondering how things are with your husband? Do you feel like you can talk to him about how you're feeling? Is he supportive and understanding of how difficult you're finding things?
I think there's a lot of pressure on stepparents to instantly fall in love with their partner's children, but it's not realistic - relationships take time. It's not easy for stepparents or stepchildren to suddenly find themselves in a close relationship with people they don't know well, who they may feel they don't have much in common with.
It's something that's not talked about a lot, but what you're going through is very common - in case it helps, you can read the words of people going through similar things in this thread on our forums (and there are others if you look through the blended families section of our forums). You're definitely not alone.
At the same time, it sounds like you're not happy with how things are for you or your stepson, so I really commend you for seeking support. For what it's worth, I think the first step in addressing a situation we're not happy with is acknowledging it and you've done that here.
I'm wondering - if you were in an ideal world where things could be better, do you have any ideas on how it might look or what might be different?
I'm not sure if it's helpful, but I thought this article had some interesting information and suggestions for stepparents in your position, in case you'd like to have a read.
I noticed you talked about being with your stepson a lot and I'm wondering - are you caring for him on your own while your partner isn't home? If so, how do you feel about that - are you happy with that arrangement, or would you prefer a different option?
Do you have much support for yourself - eg. family, friends or professionals you can talk to?
I feel for you and your family - it sounds like such a distressing situation to be in.
We're here to support you.
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