Hi Kayeoh. Thanks for your thoughts, your last paragraph pretty much sums it up. ... View more

Hi Portia-Ro, Unfortunately I am not eligible for legal-Aid as the ex-wife had contacted, so they cannot take on my case. Returning to court is not really an option. I did reach out to a couple of solicitors last year, however they did not give me any confidence what so ever, indicating that the children are already at an age that taking the matter to the courts, the children can simply say they don't want to have anything to do with me, and the courts would consider this. Unless by some miracle, the school intervenes and escalate the situation with my son's educational neglect, then I doubt that as the year progresses that anything would change, so, I am having to concede that I'm defeated and have to simply give up the notion that I will have a relationship with my own children. I have been advised several times that the children now are far to "damaged" (mentally) by their mother that they would need professional psychological support later, something the mother will have to deal with considering she has shut me out of the children's lives completely. Just yesterday I received a call from the ReachOut, that at this time they neither can assist.  So really, its another door slammed shut on the issue. As said, defeated. I will end this conversation and thread.   ... View more

Hi Natalie-Ro, It certainly has been an uphill battle that never ends. As you raise points for seeking support through professional health care and support hotlines, are such services able to make mandatory reports to DCJ to have the children assessed on my behalf, to review the issues around education challenges? More importantly, are these services able to actually look into the reasons why the children are being withheld and not being allowed to have a relationship with their father and family for example ? "Talking" only gets so far, it never removes the anguish of being deliberately removed from your children's lives. Unlike grieving for the passing of a loved one, where I agree, being able to talk about this over time will give a sense of acceptance, and understanding, my children are alive, my children are deliberately denied their rights, they have been brainwashed against seeking out their other parent and family. This is actually something that can be stopped and prevented. This is also something where the perpetrator of the abuse can be held to account. I cannot accept this type of behaviour as a human, and I will never understand nor come to terms with the fact that my children are suffering in this manner and that there is no support to step in and prevent this. Seeking discussions about "my feelings" and "how to deal with this" with said professional services, I am simply wasting the support person's valuable time and that for another person whom perhaps the support service are actually able to help resolve issues. Unfortunately, in my case, keeps getting thrown into the "Too Hard Basket", there is no resolution possible - well unless as said a mandated report can be made to hold the Alienating parent to account for their behaviour. I'm all for breaking down the walls, but action is needed. Sitting on the sidelines achieves nothing. ... View more

Hello Pho-Ro, Thank you for your response and the insite around the current systemic issues. In response to your thoughts, Yes I have setup two email accounts a couple of years ago for the children and have been writing to them in the hope that some day I can give them the email accounts for them to read. Since I connected with the schools and had them add my access to the Compass Parent Portal, I can see the children have school email accounts which I am actively writing to them, however I have not yet had a reply for the children. This may be because of the fear and duress they are under should they reply. As you have advised that you work in the mental health system, perhaps yourself or someone can provide insight.. I have three websites that I build and have contact forms on, one is my photography website. Last year on 20 October, I received an email via my website, Below is the exact text (with the names of my children anonymised). "hi dad its me [Son's Name] some friends at school told me about this page i want to talk to you love [Son's Name] and [Daughters's Name]" I took the email seriously as it not malice in intent and for all intents, that my son was genuinely trying to reach out. Specifically, as the email is very specific as well as the way its ends, is how I would sign off the emails to my children ("Love Dad") I did some investigations into the origins of the email and then forwarded a copy to the school. Shortly after, the school contacted me to confirm the email originated from two student's in my son's class, however these two student known for their antics. The two students had been interviewed and allegedly by their accounts said that they did it in malice and betrayed their friend (my Son). The Principal advised me they received 3 days suspension each for the email, the parents apparently were very distraught over the incident. I wrote to the school to indicate that I don't believe it was in malice, with consideration that its very possibly my son is attempting to reach out "by proxy". I invited the school to convey an email in good faith to offer the parents of the two students if they wish to contact me, they are more than welcome to - The school said they cant do that. I was seeking transparency - As for me, constantly hearing third party notifications is not helpful. In a further meeting with the school, I pressed them again, however they did confirm again the students had been questioned. The two students also came from the same cultural background as myself. One very interesting point the Principal said, that the two students who allegedly sent the email and my son, after they returned to school were good friends in the playground - In my mind, someone who betrays you, you normally don't want to associate with. I still remain adamant in my gut, the email was not malice, and was genuine of intent - but pretty much the issue was put to rest by the school. Yet, my son at school is not happy, his education in suffering, yet still It seems I am powerless to get him the support he needs. ... View more

Hi Chloe-Ro, Just to clarify, "Burnt" (not burnt-out), relating to entrusting in people to do the right thing and constantly being let down. Every Avenue, met with another brick wall or excuse, or the patronising comment, "Its a Family Law matter, you need to seek advise through the courts" Family courts is not the answer nor the solution, and simply does not work Unfortunately, there is no genuine help or support (for the real issues at hand); 1.) Recognise Psychological and emotional child abuse; and reporting through as mandated reports; 2.) To hold those responsible for denying the rights of the children, 3.) To seek independent support for the children, to actually ask them why they are not seeing their other parent and family. You mention Support, There are two types of support; 1.) Support of your family and friends - yes I do have that. However they are neither in a position to be able to effect change. 2.) Support, of the type and position able to listen to the issues and actively take steps to being to mitigate those issues, this is what I very much struggle with on a daily basis. Yes I fight for my children, I am concerned about their future, it hurts to see that they don't have a voice or ability to reach out, ask questions or even express their emotions to question their current situation and why they don't get to see their other family. Another way to understand the situation, is not dissimilar to a physical assault on a person occurring, and everyone standing around as spectators and doing absolutely nothing to stop it. Yes this is a battle, yes this hurts, however, I have also come to realise the hypocrisy when comes to mental health awareness, awareness on the abuse of children, awareness on bullying and domestic violence, because if we can't address the root-causes of what drives many of these issues, then anything else is simply a band-aid to cover-up what is a too difficult issue to resolve. In answering your question more correctly; "Do I have Support in place to address my concerns and issues to help and save my children from the psychological abuse they are suffering?" Well, to expand on this first, My children are actively being denied the love, support and care of their father (me), effectively I have been erased from their lives. My children will now never know their grandmother My children have been denied relationships with their grandparents, aunt, uncle and cousins. Who is helping my children ? to stand up and protect their rights ? Therefore, the answer to the question is NO, I don't have support in place to address my concerns and issues to help save my children for the psychological abuse. ... View more

Hi Hope 77, Back in 2013/2014 We did go through the service, however both the mother and the center failed in their duty of care and their own policies and procedures. In 2017, I contacted a third-party private service to reengage with the children (this coming mediation through CatholicCare), a 2 hour supervised session was arranged. Following the success of this session, the next week I requested to spend time with the children (and to keep the momentum going), the contact service person said to me it was not a good idea. I was taken back by this, I then disengaged from the service as she did not understand the situation. I continued to attend the school events as well as my son's First communion and Parent teacher interviews. Through the mediation process that we were continuing, I requested to spend time with the children on 5/8/2017. This was agreed by the mother, and I was able to spend a quality 2 hours with both my children together for the first time without any interference. Both my children happy. The next morning, I rang the mother asking what the children were doing, she said "Im Busy", my response "Are you busy or are the children busy". The mother responded; "Im busy, but only one wants to see you, but I will not separate them". I offered to come and pick them up, but again the mother saying she would not separate them. I then organised my own day, meeting a friend of mine and drove down the south coast. Approximatly early afternoon of the same day, the mother contacts me to say that my daughter is being taken to hospital because she broke her leg. Following my daughter's injury, she refused to look at me and her entire outlook towards me took a negative turn. I at least was able to spend time with my son by himself and moving to having him overnights each fortnight - Finally progress, through to December. I requested to spend time with the children for Christmas for the first time.. The mother refused, This was upsetting. Throughout this time, my Son kept asking me to take him to a Lego Exhibition, however at the time, there was none scheduled. On the 26 Jan 2018, There was a lego Expo being held, I rang the mother whom said she was unwell and could not bring the children. I said I would come and pick my son up, again she refused, and in that time she put her partner no the phone who started to make threats towards me that I need to stop asking for my children, to stop harassing his wife otherwise he would make it his mission to make me understand (through violence). I reported to police the threatening text message. It was this that again broke all contact. Sadly, my daughter's injury in this way was not the the first, twice my son was accused of causing the injury. The first time occurred in 2011, the mother taking the children unrestrained in the car (this was later proven by my solicitor at the time). All these incidences reported to the DCJ, did they take action ? no, I even had photographic evidence of bruises on my son's legs and arms. The incident in 2017, the mother causing this as it was her only way to control my daughter - why ? because on the 6 August 2017, It was my daughter who wanted to spend the day with me (not my son who I thought was the one who did). A very sad situation, but support from anyone in a position of authority to help - absolutely nothing. So trust in anything like this, I have been burnt now too many times. ... View more

Hi Portia_Ro, Thanks for the Reply. Im doing ok, however also difficult when you feel powerless to be able to help. Watching my son's progress at school and a declining trend is not easy, constantly feeling dejected each time I raise concerns and falls on deaf ears. Most recently have written to a number of Ministers, including the Minister of Families and Community, Natasha Maclaren-Jones. Over the years I have tried mediation with no success, the mother simply refuses. I will not go back into the court system as I simply don't trust a broken system and I neither cannot accept solicitors whom place profits ahead of child's rights and psychological child abuse. Having endured the court process for 4 years and having court orders, finding out that these orders are practically worthless is just rubbing salt into open wounds. Back in 2013/2014, we did go through a supervised contact center. The key procedure of such a service is that the custodial parent bring the children to the center and hand-over to staff, and immediately the parent is to leave the premises. In our situation, the mother refused to leave and would then rival the children where they became so distraught, screaming and upset, so bad it was, I would hear the children from the waiting room that I was in. Staff failed in their duty of care, they failed to follow procedures and hold the mother to account. On several occasions I had my father with me and we simply asked staff to postpone the contact as this was not good on the children. My concerns to staff, basically ignored. So trust in the system and many other practitioners has been destroyed. I am having to come to terms with the fact that having a relationship with my children, would be winning the lottery, even if something was to eventuate, it would not be anything close to what a true father-son / daughter relationship would carry.   To answer your question around when I saw my son in Late November, I was taken back by how he was, scared, unable to stop and look me in the eye, I tried to say to he that he can talk to me, each time responding with his head down, "I'm Fine", "I'm ok" in a very quiet voice, then finally saying "I'm not allowed to talk to you" as he kept walking. This for me, was enough evidence to his exposure to abuse / conditioning / coercion. It saddens me that my son feels that if he even attempts to contact me, they mother will reprimand him, the fear that has been driven into him, is upsetting. I can see how all this underlying exposure on the home front is driving his dislike of school, and his increasing negative behaviour at school I have recently been shown my a close friend of mine who is also a teacher, of the topics under the Department of Education, specifically on Educational neglect, all the key signs are present, yet why, 8 months into raising concerns about my son's education has a Catholic school not taken more serious actions other than a current process of an Attendance Improvement Program ? why is it taking so long for the matter to be escalated to the DCJ as a mandated report (under ROSH). I cannot understand why its taking so long, when I can see my son's education slipping away with each passing week. My daughter, seems to be doing ok at this stage. Last year in December, I attended her awards Ceremony. Her mother was not present, however My daughter did make initial eye contact (I think she recognised I was present), but then I could see she was making every effort to avoid any eye contact. The next day, the School was holding Patent-Student-Teacher conferences, I had booked these in advanced. When I met with each teacher, they asked if my daughter was coming - I had no clue. What was difficult this day, seeing daughters sharing in the experience with their parents and fathers, - this was taken away from me because, as I found out later, the schools are not responsible to communicate with the students about the appointments (that is, its upto the parents). The School was fully informed about my situation, yet keep getting fed that the schools cannot get involved. So, in my mind, Schools themselves actually enable psychological and emotional abuse of children, further more, being a catholic school, they are also hypocrites as they say they teach and follow the catholic faith, values and Ethos. clearly not. We do have a serious situation in Australia, and we have parents and children suffering - Parental Alienation / psychological and emotional abuse of children, is Child Abuse - yet none of this matters.   ... View more