About Squivvel

Squivvel · ‎03-17-2023

Thanks for reaching out. I am very lucky to have some very supportive friends and I am getting better at reaching out and actually leaning on them. I am very aware of safety plans and how to develop one given the work I do in the the mental health and wellbeing space but knowing it and getting my son to engage in the process are two different things. Having said that I have created a list for myself to refer to next time he is feeling this way so that I can keep chipping away with him. I have come to realise that he needs to be able to regulate his emotions as he really dips when he is under stress or has bad news. Mindfulness would be very helpful to help him separate his thoughts and emotions but as a teenage male he is very resistant to that type of strategy. I am myself working through an app called Headgear which he might be interested in but it is a slow process. I guess this platform has been really nice to feel that I have someone where to go for emotional support so I really thank everyone for all of their supportive comments and encouragement. It is an up and down process but just gets emotionally exhausting occasionally.

Squivvel · ‎03-16-2023

Thank you so much for your suggestions. I have responded above with my thoughts but really appreciate all of the help offered and honestly feel less alone now in my feelings and journey. I am also a Chair for a Community Mental Health Action Team and Deputy Principal at a school. I have for a long time recommended Reach out for students but I will certainly share this platform for parents needing support too as it has been really good to have a place to reach out for help as a mum.

Squivvel · ‎03-16-2023

Thank you so much for your response. I can think a little clearer today. I think sometimes I just need to acknowledge the emotional weight it plays on me as a mum. I really like your suggestion about asking “Do you want things to change”. As he is so resistant to help I think I need to keep the conversation going when the moments are right to remind him of help that might work for him. He has used the Reach out platform when he was younger and found that quite helpful. I think talking to others his own age is key but actually getting him to first acknowledge that he wants things to change will be a big first step. I was also thinking last night that it may be worth asking him what triggers his feelings and thoughts of suicide as I suspect it is nerves and stress (when I look at his patterns). It is nearly a knee jerk reaction when he feels he isn’t coping or things are overwhelming. I have also discovered an app which may appeal to him as it is a little like reach out and allows him to talk to others also struggling but will also help him feel a sense of belonging and connection which I feel he is so desperate for,

Squivvel · ‎03-15-2023

My son has always struggled with his mental health since he was 11 and has been to counselling when he was young and hated it. He has had suicidal thoughts throughout his life but never planned to go further than that. He is now living in the city (we live on a farm) but talks to me all the time about his problems. He recently again said “I want to kill myself” but no matter how I try to approach it (supportively, just listening, offering help) he either gets angry or doesn’t want to seek help. I am so worried that he will do something and I just don’t know how to support him without getting him help (which he refuses to have) I know if he could just find some friends or a partner he would feel like he belonged but he is shy and struggles to meet people. I have encouraged him to find other musos to make a band or go and join something but as I said he struggles. It just breaks my heart to know that they thoughts he have never leave him and he always feels alone. How do I help him when he doesn’t want to be helped. I don’t want to just watch something tragic to happen. I work in the mental health area and know all there is on offer but I just don’t know how to get through to him. It upsets me so much that he can’t overcome these feelings when he has so much to offer the world and appears to everyone else to be coping just fine. He confides everything to me but I just feel like I am breaking not being able to help him.

Date Registered	‎03-15-2023 05:35 PM
Date Last Visited	‎03-17-2023 06:54 PM
Total Messages Posted	4

Online Status	Offline
Date Last Visited	‎03-17-2023 06:54 PM

About Squivvel

About Squivvel

About Squivvel

Re: Trying to help my 18 yr old son with suicidal ...

Re: Trying to help my 18 yr old son with suicidal ...

Re: Trying to help my 18 yr old son with suicidal ...

Trying to help my 18 yr old son with suicidal thou...