Hello, I am new here and desperate for advice. I have a blended family. I married my husband when my stepson was five. His is now 15. He is with us every other weekend. I also have a 10 year old son with my husband. The last few years have been very hard on me. My stepson has no rules at his mom's house. When he comes to our house is rude and disrespectful. He wants to stay in his room the whole weekend. We try to get him to participate in family entertainment like game night, travel, walking, sports.....anything. He is always grouchy and acts so unhappy. He is also a polar opposite of the rest of us. He acts like I am weird and has rejected me the whole relationship. Its pretty toxic. I have been working on becoming a healthier me. For years I have suppressed my feelings and now I am full of resentment towards my stepson. It is causing problems with me and my husband. Otherwise we have a very healthy relationship. For the last year or so my stepson has ruined every vacation. He does weird things for attention. He refuses to eat, complains of not feeling well, or has a terrible attitude. He was caught with a vape in his pocket recently and admitted to doing Delta. It is my understanding that this is like pot. I am fed up with him and his behavior. His dad tries to be his BFF because he doesn't know what else to do. He winds up being a pushover! Its so hard because his mom lets him have too much freedom! And I basically sit with my hands tied and watch everything unfold just as I predicted. I feel alone, unheard, and scared for my 10 year old's future. My natural instinct is to protect my 10 year old. But I love my husband very much. I am tired of the stepson! He is defiant, rude, mean, and we have nothing in common. I am done trying to earn his favor. How do I make this family dynamic work? My son always wants to spend time his stepbrother but he is mean and hurts his feelings every time we have him. I have talked to my 10 year old and tried to explain age difference and different interests but my 10 year old is smart and knows his doesn't deserve to be mistreated. He is angry with his stepbrother. My husband is caught behind it all but can't seem to find an answer on how to resolve it. I can't wait until the stepson is out of this house! But until then what on earth do I do? I cannot continue to lose my cool. I am getting terrible migraines.
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