I have an 11 year old step daughters whoms life I've been in since she was 4. She lives primarily with her father and I and visits her mom every other weekend. The mother lives with the grandma, grandpa, an aunt, 2 other kids and the moms boyfriend. About a year ago I noticed my step daughter acting a bit different, being in her room more shutting the door. One day I knocked as I opened the door and saw her on a cell phone that we had given her. It didn't work for calls and we had it in her room at night so she could listen to waves because she had started sleep walking and I read that would help. As i opend the door she jumped a bit i said hey what are you doing, can i see your phone she was trying to get out of what ever she was in. I didn't look at the phone I just said I'm gonna hold on to this for a bit, maybe read or draw for now. That night I looked at the phone she had a Snapchat account and a Musically account. She had saved all of her conversations in Snapchat so I began to read them. Most were to friends, hi how are you...but then I noticed a boy from schools Snapchat and that my daughter was waking up at 5am to talk to him. I had noticed a month ot so prior that the wave videos would be off some mornings, I thought she just turned it off in the middle of the night. So we talked to her about it and she said her aunt by her mom, who is 16, told her make an account so they could talk more. The phone was not allowed to be used and the laptop she was required to have for school was to only be used for school work. Well here we are just shy of a year and her mom's boyfriend sent my husband a message saying he wanted him to know her mom bought her a phone and our daughter is constantly on Snapchat. There is barely any supervision when she is at her mom's. Her mom is at work majority of the time and the grandma is busy with the 2 younger kids. I don't know what to do, we told our daughter she had lost a bit of our trust last time and she'd have to work really hard to earn it back. The lieing is what gets me I don't want her to lie or feel she needs to. These 2 houses are run completely different so I get it's got to be a difficult for her, she is good at talking to me about most things so I thought she wouldn't lie like this. Advice please
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