Hi @MelissaJane, welcome to the forum, it's great to have you here.
It can be difficult to get our kids to understand why we set the boundaries we do in our homes, especially when those boundaries differ from those of their close friends. The link @Nick-RO provided gives some great info so I'd also recommend having a read.
I find having open and honest talks with my daughter about my concerns really helps. It helps her understand the reasoning behind why these boundaries are in place, but it also gives me great insight into where she is at and how she thinks about things. Would you feel comfotable about having a talk with your daughter about why you're not comfortable with her having sleepovers where there are boys present? It might be a great opportunity to have a conversation about boys, sex, and appropriate and inappropriate interactions with boys? That may help in getting her to understand the reasons why she can't stay at her friends anymore.
Would you be happy for her to still have sleepovers there if there were no boys, just the girls? If you were you could maybe contact the other mother to see who will be at the sleepover.
I've been lucky in that my daughter went to an all girls school, so we've only had girls in the friendship group. Your daughter is young and it's very clear that you have her best interests at heart which is great, she's very lucky (although she might not see it that way right now!). If you can remain calm, answer any questions your daughter may have, but not get into explaining yourself over and over, and remain firm in your decision, she will come to accept the boundaries you set.
Good on you for being diligent and for reaching out for support on how to handle this situation. Parenting can be such a tough job and we just want to get it right for them.
Let us know how you get on!
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