Hey @beehive, I'm so glad you feel less lonely and have a couple of alternatives to mention to your son. I had everything sharp in the house hidden away. I didn't ever have a conversation with her about searching her room either, I just used to do it. And if she ever notice she didn't say anything to me.    There's a great resource here on self harm and teenagers I wanted to share with you. I know the services mentioned are Australian so won't be of help but the information is still relevant. Let me know what you think.   It's so easy to let ourselves go when we're worried or stressed. Everything feels like an effort. I promise you though you'll have more strength if you can take some time out for yourself. Book yourself in for a massage or to have your hair or nails done. Or go for a walk or to the movies. Whatever makes you feel good. You're worth it and you'll thank yourself      ... View more

Hi @lucille I would be angry too. Once you have calmed down a little I'd tell her how angry that makes you. $1300 is a lot. I don't know what punishment fits in your family. If my kids did that they would loose internet access, probably for a couple of weeks. I would make a fuss, because she needs to know that is wrong.   At the same time I wonder if you have found something to motivate her (money). Obviously you don't want her buying drinks and ciggies for her friends (that's another issue), but maybe she spends it on other stuff too. I guess we all understand the need to fit in with a crowd, and a little money might help. Maybe she can do chores for pocket money or get a job? Both of those can be positive things for kids. I believe kids should learn that if you work, you get money. If you sit around all day you do not get paid. Having said that I'm amazed at how reluctant my teenagers are to do chores for cash ("Can I have some money?" "Sure, I'll give you $10 if you mow the front lawn"...."Nahhhh, I'll do without" -- It's a 15 minute job!!!!)   Cheers   ... View more