Thanks for your response. We have had professional help as last year was particularly difficult for us all. Son has seen three different Psychologists and has been revised by a Psychiatrist. It looks like we have now possibly found the right fit, and although all three previous practitioners were good my son needed someone who would both support and challenge him. I am currently trying to establish an appropriate support system for my husband and I and our other children as the impact upon our family dynamics is starting to show. My patience is wearing thin, and my attempts not to get angry and exasperated are currently failing. I am clearly tired and finding it difficult to continue supporting given I am feeling so used. Whilst some things have improved since the end of school, I am tired of being sworn at, called disgusting names, lied to, told that I am hated, that I am unreasonable etc etc. when I have spent the last 18 months supporting/caring/driving/protecting and encouraging. He says that he should be able to do whatever he wants, whenever he wants and does not understand why I am currently upset that he is inviting girls into our home for sex. If it was a girlfriend I would be willing to discuss, but he has younger siblings and says what happens in his room is none of my business. Maybe I am being unreasonable, but I can help thinking that the young women might possibly have the expectation of a relationship...and this is clearly not his intention. This is just one the behaviour I am struggling with at the moment, but his disrespect in this matter has me more upset than perhaps I should be. I just wondered what other parents thought. Clearly we are dealing with a number of complex issues, but I am struggling to discuss this with him without getting upset and angry.
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Hello My 17 (almost 18 year old) son finds it very difficult to talk openly with his father and I. We have assisted him to deal with anxiety, depression and self harming behaviour over the last year. We frequently argue about his attitude towards us, and I am finding it difficult to choose which battles to fight. He is looking for part time work and starts Uni this year. We are open to him having friends over to our home and he does do occasionally but he prefers not to because he says he does not like us. My main issue currently is his seeming lack of respect for us in many areas. He does not have a girlfriend but has many female friends and when he is home alone he has taken to inviting girls over and having sex in his room. This is evident by empty condom wrappers not thrown away, messy bedsheets and hickeys on his neck. He has younger siblings and I have difficulty accepting this behaviour. I find it disrespectful and I am concerned for a number of reasons-He says the girls are not girlfriends and he has no feelings for them, and I have attempted to get him to consider that the girls he has been with may be wanting an emotional connection and I ask that he be respectful towards them and us(family/parents). I’m sure he would prefer to have not had these discussions with me, but he is not great at hiding what has happened. He says he would like to be living away from home but can’t afford it...he says he should be able to do whatever he wants, whenever he wants and despite us being clear that this is not the case, he continues to push boundaries by drinking, smoking and being disrespectful. Should I be ignoring this and focus on his overall health, or am I right to be expecting him to behave in a more respectful manner?
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