Hi Justamum, It is a very hard situation for you to be and I’ve had similar situation arise. I’m close with my ex-husbands young children (my two children’s younger step brothers). My partner expressed how uncomfortable it made him when we did things together with my ex and his new family. These activities are out of friendship between my kids step mum and myself but also for the kids as well. I reassured my partner that there is nothing to be threatened about from this. The last person I would want to be with is my ex-husband. But I understand how it can make him feel at times. However my personal opinion is that the kids seeing a cohesive family unit is more important than the insecurities my partner feels during these times. For me it’s basically not negotiable because in this situation the kids needs come first. Is it possible to understand what boundaries your partner feels are appropriate and than you can if these boundaries work for you and your relationship? ... View more

Yes we both have an iPhone that we communicate on. ... View more

Thank you Taokat, I did confront my son’s dad about it. As this has been an issue the past. He denied viewing the conversation between us. The conversation between us was about my son getting a haircut during his lunch break at school as this was the only time available for him. Coincidentally they had a conversation with him about him getting a haircut shortly after my messenger conversation with my son. And decided he was not having his haircut during his break at school and cancelled the appt. This happened before my kids returned to the dads for the week. Either way my gut says that my sons dad has lied about viewing the conversation. This is based on his frequent history of lying to cover his tracks. I will at an alternative platform like Snapchat or WhatsUp that encrypts the messages and deleted them shortly after. Alternatively I will have telephone conversations instead of messages. But the only problem with this is my sons difficulty with remember things accurately. Thank you for your input though. It’s greatly appreciated. ... View more

Thank you everyone for you sympathy and advice. I do think a different platform to communicate will be the best option for now. However my son won’t be home with me until Sunday so we will discuss that then. Ultimately I think it comes back to a power and control dynamic with his dad and step-Mum needing to have control over the situation as well as their judgement of me as a Mum. This is probably the hardest part to deal with and it is a struggle every day to manage my feelings around this. Because I can’t control what they think or how they view me. Thank you again for the support that’s been offered. ... View more