Hey @Hope_4  It is great to hear that you will be booking in a coaching session this week! I know you mentioned that you were researching around ADHD, and I thought I would share a post we have here around ADHD as well as a collection of resources we have here. I thought you might find these helpful to have a read through. We also have a youth community here which your daughter may be interested in joining. We have some spaces specifically for our neurodivergent community. We also have some resources around ADHD for young people here. Take care and all the best with the coaching service. ... View more

My lovely, healthy children. My well-being. The ability to go my own way. ... View more

it’s impressive that she has a part time job! YoU’re doing something right there! Might be worth trying to reduce the number of issues you choose to argue with her on..... do an experiment and pretty well ignore some of the annoying ( but not life threatening) issues. Eg Let her choose whether she wants to shower or not. And sometimes all you can do is tell her calmly and caring my what you expect...... and then just breathe deeply if she doesn’t want to listen. I’ve got an obnoxious teenager too.... so I’m not saying there’s any magic. But I remember lots of Marly kids from school who turned into lovely adults a few years later. ... View more

I am having the same problems he is never in the wrong he won't get help from anyone and I can't win it drags me down so much ... View more

Hello I totally agree with you @brightstar89 you must be vigilant about appointments and medications and keep a close eye on your teen.  Depression is treatable but its a process....sometimes a frustrating long process.   I really like what you said @Taylor-RO the self care portion as a parent is so important- this balance is key.  Or honestly you are no help to your teen in the long run. ... View more

Thanks for telling me your story, I have been to my GP and seen my daughter for the first time since she was admitted very difficult day, but it's done now ... View more

I am not sure if this is of any comfort to you but my 15yo today told me that when she catches me looking at her, it makes her uncomfortable and asked me not to do it anymore. Its like she is allergic to me and I do everything I can to show her my love. She does act sweet when she wants something. The deal I made with her its that she doesn’t need to love me, but to treat me like when she wants something, which it proves she can be respectful is she choses. Hormones can be very intense for girls at this age and they get so irritatable.   I didn’t understand the last part where she was picked up from school and where exactly she is right now. If her dad is making her mental health worse, maybe the court can make his visits less often until she is better? Hopefully someone of this board can help you     ... View more

Hi @tsuwei I understand that feeling of "walking on egg shells"  When you said you used to get mad about her disrespecting but now you have bigger issues to worry about.  I have felt like that many times too.  I think I go through different stages of parenting at different stages of crisis.  For me sometimes its been okay to be a little lenient on somethings- like chores, etc.  especially when you are afraid to tip this delicate balance of already uncertainty.  I think there are times that come later that you feel more like "laying down the law".  I think its ok to deal with things as they come and decide the best parenting style to fit that situation.  I feel I have learned not to always be banging down her door asking how she is and giving a little space- but its hard too.  The thing that has stayed constant is that I always hug her and tell her how much I love her- no matter what else is going on.  I can really see how much you love your daughter!  Like @Taylor-RO has said- We are here for you! ... View more

@Sallyanne thank you for sharing with us about your son and the thrive approach It sounds like you've had many ups and downs but you have remained positive throughout all of this. You are doing an amazing job! I really admire your use of positive affirmations and I completely agree that they are so powerful!  ... View more

There is youtube for kids and there is some other website not sure of name that is only YouTube videos approved by parents ... View more

@Sallyanne this is sounding positive. How have the interactions been between the both of you lately? Sounding like the boundaries are proving beneficial which is awesome :)  ... View more

Hi @ Gerald1ne wow you guys have been through so much and you have shown a lot of love and patience . It must be hard thinking he may not realise his dreams but there may be another path he can take. I agree with the previous comments, sorry I can't see who it is as I'm typing that there is no rush to complete certain things in a timeline and school may be able to space out the work or do less days. Sometimes society can put so much pressure on doing things a certain way that it makes it so much harder. I think my daughter is worried about failing the hsc and having to tell everyone what her score is that she is putting undue pressure on herself. I think your sons health is most important at this time can you all get away for the weekend and try to relax and forget about your problems for a couple of days?Sometimes getting away and getting back to nature can be of great benefit. All the best x ... View more

Hi, You seem to be doing all the right things.   Here at home we made clear that the devices are not a right, but a priviledge that can be paused/eliminated at any time by any of us parents.   We have what we call it “a contract” [actually we use this system for a lot of things, it works very well for us]. In this “contract” we wrote the rules for phone/computer use and the consequences of misuse. For instance, we use tracking and the day they change this setting the phone will be confiscated, another its that they must answer our calls/msg asap, they must turn phone in at night etc.    I think that could maybe be an option for you?    If you don’t want “confiscate” the device, there is an app that you can install on their phones that I could remotely disable their apps for an amount of time if they are not complying with your rules.    They probably won’t like your rules, but you know you are looking out for them 😉  ... View more

Hi, I am from a different culture as my spouse and its true that it can be a challenge and completely understand your point of view.    Now, as a parent of teens and going back in time of when I was a teen, what its comes to mind its that teens LOVE THE FORBIDDEN and love to test boundaries. Someone will more knowledge might disagree with me, but keeping your “enemies” close can be a good thing in this case. She is 15 and I assume that marriage is not something that will happen anytime soon and she will meet other people, and so it will this gentleman she now dates.   My son says things like that when he feels he is being controlled (not dismissing your concern as I also get very tense and scared when he says that). I am havin the same issue but not with a girlfriend, but some friends I don’t like. I feel that if I say “no”, it will be the forbidden fruit that he will crave all day. I allowed this friend to come to our house and will put my own advice to test tomorrow 😀   It did work with a past girlfriend he had, her parents were very weird, it lasted 2yrs even after she changed schools. In the end, he broke up with her and is now dating a very sweet girl.  ... View more

I am sorry about violating the guidelines, it was not intentional. Thank you for editing.   My son is now open to the meeting and I talked with the psychologist what is going on regarding his trauma. Unfortunately the other counselor was not adequately equipped and pushed him away.    I see a therapist on the account on my own struggles with anxiety and depression. It has been really helpful. I also use meditation and audio subliminal sessions that helps me. I listen to them at night while I sleep and it makes a difference. Breathing exercises always help me to stay in the moment. ... View more

Wow. Thank you for posting. I learned something today.   As someone else pointed out, parents can be crazy as teenagers sometimes. We say silly things and most of the time (in my case for sure) we might think the child is not even paying attention. You helped me see that they do and will be more careful from now on.   Your mom loves you and she is expressing her desire to be close to you in the future, she won’t take your kids, she is just telling you how much she will love them.   This time of separation is hard on parents, even though you might not remember many years of your life when you were little, it happened and its vivid to your parents as last week is for you. Parents are people too.   By the way, great job on working on your dream! ... View more

Hey @JFinn, do you know where your teens are getting the money to pay for their pot?    I must admit, I wouldn't allow smoking in or around my house either - mainly because it's illegal here and that's a lesson that needs to be learnt. Once they are old enough they can be charged and there is no escaping that fact. While it's going on in your house with minors, parents are held accountable, same as with underage drinking.    I get that what you and your wife have been doing hasn't been working, and it's only natural to then look at other options. And when you can't get honest answers I think it's understandable to want to go with an option that will give you some leverage. You are sane! Unfortunately without consequences, our teens tend not to listen to us, and I think having made your intentions clear, the boundary has been set. The important thing I think is to be clear yourself as to what you would do with any footage. Would you use it to hold them accountable legally, or to get help for the offending kid or kids for example? Do you think if it was phrased around terms of helping your teens your wife might be more open to the idea?    Parenting is such a tough job and it can hard to know what the best move is to achieve what we want to see from our kids. I'd be keen to hear how things progress for you.  ... View more

Hi there @Marklin, I'm yet to experience this aspect of teenagers, so I cannot weigh in from experience, but as far as sleepovers in general, I think it's absolutely okay to be in contact with the other parents - especially at this age when our teens may not always be upfront and honest with us as to their whereabouts.    Apart from that, I'd also want to know my daughter's safe and is not exposed to any dangers or anything I don't agree with.    Your son is your son and if you feel you want to talk with the girls parents, I'd encourage you to do so.    Let us know how you get on.  ... View more

Ultimately its your decision, you are the parent and I would never give my opinion if I wasn’t asked 😀  As infuriating as it is to have your voice sound more like a white noise, you were the one that broke it. I would go for a 50-50, since it was for different reasons, both contributed to the loss.     ... View more