Hi @ Tisme sorry to hear you are having such a hard time, it's frustrating not knowing what to do. I agree with @gina-Ro that you need some self care and time out too so you can feel a bit better in yourself and also getting your daughter to access some kind of mental health support. I'm not sure how to do that if she is refusing though. My daughters room can get quite bad too but I just stopped cleaning it and let her do it when she is ready. I also don't collect her clothes if she runs out she will wash them now. I only wash the clothes that are put in the basket. Since I have been thinking of my own health and giving a bit less our situation seems to have improved. I hope this helps.Hang in there x ... View more

Hi @ Nervous you don't say if you are in Australia and I shouldn't name the school my daughter attended online. But we googled distance education in our area and we're able to access a Christian school where we paid $40 a week and were able to have phone calls , online support and on campus visits. I'm sure we could have had the fees waived if we couldn't afford this. In year 10 my daughter did oten( a division of tafe) and is doing hsc through Oten too. It sounds hard but teenagers are so computer savvy that it's quite easy for them the only downfall is the lack of socialisation but you can find this in other activities. I would suggest you first google a couple and speak to them on the phone first. Good luck x ... View more

Hi @RichardC this is a tricky one eh, technically he is not going to the concert that I guess he was really looking forward to. Its hard punishing kids when no one backs you up and you can look like a bad cop. When my daughter was 9 she stole $20 so I banned her from the schools Xmas concert. I wasn't popular either but she will never steal from me again. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. Also my ex didn't back me up either or anyone for that matter . ... View more

Hi @FreakedOut sorry to hear what you and your family are going through. It sounds like your daughter has trouble controlling her emotions. It must be hard when the doctors don't believe you but sometimes you need to try a couple until you get the right fit. You sound so patient and caring, it must be so frustrating for you not knowing how to help her. I hope she gets the help she needs. Good luck x ... View more

Thanks @Breez-RO I'm finding the therapy good so far but I've only been once I have another appointment in 3 weeks. She suggested the smiling mind app which I'm starting to use I'm also walking and knitting too. ... View more

Hi everyone I realised my daughter needed help in year 8. The first step was to go to our GP. She then saw 3 different psychologists and the third she really liked. She tried headspace a while ago but didn't like it. She has been on a few medications but due to side effects has decided to not take any. She has seen a couple of psychiatrists too. I have found as lucky as we are that she is not suicidal the hospitals only help in these urgent cases I think. Our in between case which is serious to us leaves us falling between the cracks at times. I have been told if I had a few spare thousand we could put her in a clinic for a while for some intensive therapy and group therapy. Being in our situation this is not going to happen. At the moment she is accessing a psychologist and going to the gym and walking which is helping. She is defiant but I am finding when I ask her to do things they are getting done but in her time frame. Although being defiant is frustrating this stubbornness can be used for achieving as well I think. Meanwhile I am getting therapy and will start the online coaching soon too and also starting a couple of new hobbies and getting my own life as I make room for her to let go of the apron strings and be her own person. ... View more

Yesterday for self care I had my hair done. ... View more

Hi @Andy002 I agree that sometimes medication doesn't suit everyone I'm trying to go without but I will see how I go. Some churches also give counselling for a small donation . All the best x ... View more

Hi @Andy002 I was able to access a psychologist for myself to help deal with my daughters issues, I have only been once but knowing someone is there for me helps tremendously, are you able to see someone at a reasonable price or covered by the government? In Australia I think we have up to 10 free visits a year. ... View more

Hi @Andy002 sorry to hear you are having such a hard time at it I feel for you. I know the issue is with your daughter but I also agree with the previous comments of self care, we can handle a lot more when we are feeling better and I think we are able to cope better when we are less stressed. I find just leaving the house even going to the local shop gives me a lift or walking too. Have the doctors done a brain scan or run some tests on your daughter ?She could have a learning difficulty or be on the autism spectrum I've heard it's very hard to diagnose in girls, just a thought I'm no doctor. Sometimes it takes a while to get answers but keep trying there has to be a reason for her behaviour. Hang in there x ... View more

Hi @sunflowermom sorry to hear about the way your daughter is lashing out to you. You are only trying to protect her by telling her her clothing was inappropriate. It's very hurtful when our children speak to us like that. Your daughter loves you very much and it's not intentional. I know what you are feeling as this happens to me. Can you pull her aside when she calms down and tell her how she is hurting you? Sending you big hugs ❤️ ... View more

Also someone said to me yesterday that by doing things by myself it should toughen me up, I disagree I want to feel and be vulnerable isn't this how to let love in? Who wants to be hard and tough. Let's aim to be strong while being loving, caring and empathic ❤️ ... View more

Hey everyone I love all those positive vibes especially I am enough. My positive affirmations are, I am good enough, you've got this and just do it, tomorrow is another day ❤️ ... View more

Hi @taokat thanks for your kind words my foot is getting better thanks and the swelling is going down but still black and blue. I agree that teenagers don't always think the way we do and don't always mean things they do or not do. As in your situation being on our own we rely on each other and it's not always a two way street and at such times as this I can feel vulnerable and lonely, thanks for your hugs and support it means a lot xx ... View more

Hi Taylor-RO thanks for your support. Well I had a bit of a cry last night in bed and this morning I said to my daughter I was really hurt that she didn't ask if I was ok. She said she knew I was ok because I was yelling and swearing and she thought it was no big deal because I'm always bumping into things. I told her as best as I could that she needs to be a bit kinder and have more empathy, not much of a reply but I think I was heard. I will probably not be working too much for at least 2-3 days and be resting so will have to get her to fend for herself a bit more. X ... View more

Hey @Madmacca sorry to hear what you are going through I agree with some of the previous comments that it's probably not a healthy environment to work in. I'm sure another workplace will appreciate you. I agree it's also harder to grasp some computer skills I also have trouble myself picking up things . I remember a few years back I had a job cold calling people selling a product it was very stressful and unprofessional. The boss had a peephole to spy on us in the office to make sure we were working, and the toilet light had a timer lol.Hang in there and I'm sure you will find a better fitting position. Your new company will benefit from the maturity and life skills you bring x ... View more

Thanks @Sally-RO I did end up having a good night with my sister. ... View more

Hi @ Ashestogolddust sorry to hear what you are going through with your daughter it is very hard and exhausting to watch and be part of when they are going through hard times. Since I came on this site I've been hearing this word more ' self care' , honestly I didn't practice this before. I am learning that to look after yourself is the best thing you can do for your family and yourself as it gives you the energy and strength to keep going and battle another day. I was brought up to put everyone first and my needs came second but if I had been more selfish in the past I think I would have had an easier ride. Please take time out for yourself, a walk , shopping, coffee, facial or a bath. While a troubled teen is very important we must realise there is more going on and don't focus your whole attention on them all the time, we have other family and friends too. I think if we practice self care it makes us stronger and able to be more calm and make rational decisions at stressful times. I hope this helps, good luck x ... View more

Hi @No Idea my daughter has been online schooling since year 8 she is now doing the HSC through Oten(a dept of tafe). The schooling is no problem except for the stress for her but the lack of socialisation is. What makes it harder to get on with people are her ideas are different to the mainstream which is great but doesn't win her friends. She is a pink haired, animal loving vegan, very opinionated and headstrong. Which is great and I'm hoping if she goes to tafe next year she will meet people that she has things in common with. I think the problem is she finds her peers too childish. I also think that being divorced has impacted on her and part of the problem is she finds it hard to be close to her father I know he loves her but they are not on the same page and she just wants people to love her how she is. I guess what I'm trying to say is our kids haven't processed our separation and need some help dealing with it as I think this could be the case with your son. I hope he is able to open up and talk to someone. It must be so hard for you not being able to do anything but you just have to let him know you are there always. All the best x ... View more

Hi @Mum2018 Thanks for sharing your story I hope it has helped. You sound very patient and caring and you are doing all the right things. My daughter also suffers from social anxiety but I think we are nearly at the other end. I wonder too if my daughter has ASD or ADD as well. She was perfectly fine until 12 or so I thought. She started school refusal in year 8 and has been doing online schooling since then, now in year 12. I can empathise what you are going through my daughter also didn't want to speak on the phone etc or in person. Her psychologist encouraged her to go shopping and take herself out which she is anxious about but will still go and also has a part time job. I really hope your daughter will get to this stage too. It's a shame she won't see a psychologist as it would be beneficial, can someone come to the house? I also like to read up on anxiety to see if I can understand it a bit more. We are all here to listen and support each other, all the best x ... View more

Hey @taokat I'm glad for you that you are going to get some counselling I feel that putting my daughters needs above my own I should have gotten counselling much sooner but thankfully I have an appointment in 2 weeks. Can you try meditation music before you go to bed. I do it quite often and it helps to release a few tears. Hang in there. X Also @ schooner hang in there too mate x ... View more

Hi @ Gerald1ne wow you guys have been through so much and you have shown a lot of love and patience . It must be hard thinking he may not realise his dreams but there may be another path he can take. I agree with the previous comments, sorry I can't see who it is as I'm typing that there is no rush to complete certain things in a timeline and school may be able to space out the work or do less days. Sometimes society can put so much pressure on doing things a certain way that it makes it so much harder. I think my daughter is worried about failing the hsc and having to tell everyone what her score is that she is putting undue pressure on herself. I think your sons health is most important at this time can you all get away for the weekend and try to relax and forget about your problems for a couple of days?Sometimes getting away and getting back to nature can be of great benefit. All the best x ... View more

Hi @taokat I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through it must be so hard and frustrating that you are not getting the support from hospitals and doctors but from what you are saying it sounds like you are trying everything you can for your daughter. I'm not sure what CYMHS is but I found it very hard to find a psychiatrist that would treat a 17 year old, in the end I decided to go private with the doctor and pay a $100 gap per visit thankfully she hasn't been admitted to hospital but although I couldn't afford private I'm wondering can the public system cope with mental health issues? Take care and hang in there Taokat please look after yourself x ... View more

Very well said @seekwisdom we can't make our kids or anyone else except ourselves happy. Although we do our best to try to help them it's very much an inside job. As harsh as this sounds I'm sick of trying to please people especially my daughter I'm just going to not try so much anymore hopefully she will respect me more then? ... View more

Hi @Lue17 welcome to the forum. You sound like a patient and loving mum. As a mum of 2 sons and a daughter I can say that it is common for boys not to talk much, acknowledge us with a grunt and spend time in their rooms. I would try to encourage him to speak to a psychologist there might be something bothering him or it could be hormones and him trying to find his way in the world ,15 to 20 can be a difficult time for many teenagers . On top of school there are changing relationships with friends, girls and trying to fit in. Try to step back a bit and look after yourself more and things might look a littler clearer once everyone is calm. Take care x ... View more

Hi @Sallyanne sorry to hear about your troubles but glad to hear you where able to share them here. It must be hard for you with your husband away but I really think he needs to step up and help you enforce some rules. It sounds like you are really trying though and you have a lot on your plate.I know you said your son found the wrong crowd do you think there is a reason behind it does he have anxiety or self esteem issues? I agree with some of the previous posts if you can get him to see a counsellor it would be great. Also can you wait until things cool down and have a chat about the dangers of drugs and the influence these friends are on him. All the best, take care x ... View more

Hi @Helplessmum I'm happy for you that you were able to attend some counselling with your daughter and although you disagree with her choice she knows that you love her and that's important. It's great you have a some good friends sometimes you just need to get out with them and forget about your troubles for a while. I hope you feel like you were able to unload a bit here , no one is going to judge you we are all going through some stuff. Good luck to you x ... View more

Welcome @Falling2pieces its good you could find the forum it certainly has helped me. It sounds like a difficult situation with you wanting to steer your daughter in the right direction especially as she is a mother now. She is at an age where she would like to have fun but also has some important responsibilities. Can you offer to babysit when she goes out without her taking advantage of you? Maybe once a fortnight. Can you have a chat with her about your concerns? I definitely think the partying is something the kids grow out of. x ... View more