Hi there sorry for the delay! He is doing so much better! Getting him a good therapist that he trusts was very important. It took a while to find the right one. This didn’t happen until a year ago when he came home from college and we realized he was depressed. I would say do all you can to give your son an adult that’s dedicated to listening to your son who can coach him on social skills. If he likes martial arts, great! But sports aren’t for everyone, so just let him find his passion and spend time pursuing it. You don’t have to be limited to therapists around you anymore since Covid - zoom calls are great for shy kids! My son has never met his therapist in person! Thanks for reaching out! It will get better. Bullying will always be a part of school. We have to give our dear kids an outlet to voice what is happening and to find themselves in the midst of that fear. Ultimately it makes them stronger and compassionate, if they feel supported. Wishing your precious son and you big warm waves of love and support. You are not alone!! There are so many suffering silently. But your son has a loving mother so I know he will be ok! Good luck!!! ... View more

Thank you so much for this very moving message! You are exactly right. Our son did have some tiny quirks (not quite visible enough to be diagnosed with aspergers but it just made him stand out, as you say) and he was constantly bullied in high school. This caused him a lot of pain and like you he is shy, but so sweet. His father and I did not realize the extent to which he was holding all of this inside. If we had we probably would have had him move schools, although kids are pretty much the same everywhere. It did explode, as you say, into some depression that was painful. I want to tell you this, though, and it is so important: my son is now 19 and things DO get better. That experience made him stronger. And it has made you strong already because I sense such intelligence in you and openness of heart. I can tell you are amazing! Just like my son. And all that time in his room? Not going to lame parties that he was not invited to? He spent it learning about computer languages and studying philosophy. He is sailing through university and getting into highly selective computer science research programs and is finally happy and making friends! You are going to be just fine! Do talk to your mom and dad though. Getting our son a therapist was a big part of him pulling through that difficult time. I think it helped him find his identity and see himself beyond his “disability”. Your letter moved me to tears because it is written from a place of compassion. You have a big heart and you already know how to put yourself in others’ shoes. That is something many adults don’t even know how to do! And it is what makes us powerful as human beings. Not Neanderthals like the bullies at school who are themselves super insecure. That is not power, it is weakness. Anyway, I thank you for your wisdom. You are 100% correct. Stay strong my young friend! You are extraordinary. Please keep me posted on your progress through school. And don’t let anyone take your joy! Here’s to the shy (and powerful) ones! 🙌🙌🙌✨✨✨ ... View more

Hi there - my son is now 19 and a sophomore at the University of Rochester studying computer science. He will be ok, but he is still dealing with depression as a result of being bullied throughout high school. He still struggles with social anxiety.   My advice to you is to take action now. I recommend Social Thinking out of Boston - a lot of free curricula online. The following are all things I wish I had done. We tended to believe our son when he said "everything was fine" but then he really lost it freshman year of college and became suicidal. Change schools if you need to to give her a fresh start. Get her psychotherapy. Have her diagnosed if you think there could be autism or Asperger's (I belatedly realized our son is probably a little on the spectrum).    Most importantly, and I'm sure you do this, let her know always that she is loved exactly as she is.   I wish you all the love and healing and support possible! I'm sure your daughter is a beautiful person.  ... View more

HI there - my son just turned 19, and if I could turn back the clock to his being 13 I would. Our son is also very high functioning on the spectrum (although he makes eye contact perfectly and acts normal around adults... he is not "normal" with his peers. He is very bright - did extremely well in school but started spending all his time around his freshman year of high school at home on weekends and in his room. We thought he was studying but we just found out a year ago he  his "friend" group had left him out of a group text and started going out without him when he was about 15. And these kids were the geekiest kids at school. He put on a brave face throughout high school but his confidence was dropping. My husband told me I was worrying for nothing. But when he came home from university due to Covid, we discovered he was clinically depressed and he has since told a therapist he was suicidal while he was at college. All of this stemmed from bullying that he never told us about. We just thought he was a quiet brainiac kid. TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS. Don't let your son fall into a long-term depression. Do whatever you can to work with the school to get him socialized, no matter what it takes. My son is showing some progress now with medication but it's a long road ahead and I wish I had done more while he was suffering in high school (unbeknownst to us.) ... View more

Pleasure! We all can use encouragement :) ... View more

I hope this provides some hope - my son who I wrote about nearly two years ago is now heading off to college. He was bullied throughout high school and ended up spending a lot of time alone in his room but he found a passion in computer science. He has taught himself more than a dozen programming languages and got a big scholarship to college and couldn't be more excited to find kids like himself. I think he is more resilient and worldly wise than the "popular", super social kids he graduated with.    Who says the popular scene is all it's cracked up to be, anyway?   Continue to love your child and nurture his interests - it's the most important thing! And don't be hard on yourself - you sound very caring!  Good luck, God bless! ... View more

My soon to be 17 yr old has no strong friendships either and I feel your pain. I feel we haven’t provided him with enough resources and support and I don’t know where to turn. We tried a psychologist who was recommended but she was awful and he couldn’t get past the first appointment (she was confrontational and told him he was rude). He is super bright and intellectual and has trouble making small talk with kids his own age although he’s great with adults. The sad truth is school has become so intense and all -consuming that there is little time to prioritize friendships. Now suddenly he is free for the summer and his attempts at reaching out to kids to socialize are getting ignored. He is very shy and spends all his time in his room. He’s too old for me to arrange a social life for him. I feel helpless. Any advice welcome! ... View more