@Madmacca don’t let them get you down. It is there problem...their anti-social behaviour not you. As hard as it is, you are better off working somewhere else that appreciates your skills. Be strong and try somewhere else. It is their loss.  ... View more

Hi Popcorn,     My daughter is very driven and puts a huge amount of pressure on herself. Her big downfall is she won’t see a psychologist any more...she didn’t find one she connected with despite trying a few and she overthinks everything, particularly assignments. Her work is never good enough. When at school she gets really stressed over assignments. 18 months ago she was put on 50mg of sertraline but she didn’t feel it was doing anything and wanted to stop. We let her stop but her anxiety 2 months ago got to such a level that she wasn’t completing any work and having big meltdowns so she agreed to go back on it to try to take the edge off. She’s been on for 2 months and it seems to be helping. I’m seeing more of her old self and no meltdowns. She’s on 100mg with no noticeable side effects. She has been granted an exemption from school for this term so the real test will be next term when she goes back...year 11. We are meeting School this week to work out a plan but am thinking starting off with just Maths and build up from there.you need to work at a level where there’s challenge but not so much that the anxiety escalates to a point where she doesn’t function effectively. It’s so great your son will see someone. I see someone so they can help me work with her. They are such great capable kids and it’s really crappy that anxiety can impact so heavily on them.  ... View more

Hi Popcorn, yes they certainly sound very similar. The combination of anxiety and perfectionism is a very tricky combination. At 16 our biggest issues are the growing social anxiety ( settled slightly now she’s on medication) and trying to get her through the education system. Unfortunately because they hide it so well when at school, it’s difficult to get the school to understand. I think my daughter has a mild form of autism which may be at the basis of much of her anxiety. She is quite sensory around food...texture, smell and overheats very easily. It’s hard to know whether it’s all the anxiety or something else. ... View more

Hi again popcorn, I’m not sure if it’s the same for your son but part of our daughters anxiety is a combination of social ( despite her being popular) and performance. She would put on a front at school and come home exhausted. Due to her level of anxiety in class ( not obvious to others) she wouldn’t retain the information and then felt stupid etc. she is a perfectionist and would always spend far too long on homework tasks ...never satisfied with what she had done. I wonder if your son is like that. Also at the beginning of the year motivation was high but as the year progresses they get tired and the energy involved in staying at school, outing on a front is harder. This may or may not be similar. ... View more

Hi Popcorn, It is great that your son wants to go back to the psychologist and he’s found someone he likes. It crucial that you keep that going. My daughters anxiety really took off towards the end of year 7. Unfortunately it got harder and harder to keep getting her to school. Eventually she ended up studying online which although it reduced her anxiety she lost all of her friends, as it’s hard to keep contact when you’re not there and they didn’t really understand what she was going through. Friendships and connection to psychologist is crucial. If the psychologist is hard to get into, book a few appointments in a row as it’s easier to cancel than wait 3-4 months each time. Good luck. ... View more

Hi Popcorn, It is great that your son wants to go back to the psychologist. It crucial that you keep that going. My daughters anxiety really took off towards the end of year 7. Unfortunately it got harder and harder to keep getting her to school. Eventually she ended up studying online which although it reduced her anxiety she lost all of her friends as it’s hard to keep contact whennyoure not there and they didn’t really understand what she was going through. Friendships and connection to psychologist is crucial. If the psychologist is hard to get into book a few appointments in s row as it’s easier to cancel than wait 3-4 months each time. Good luck. ... View more

I try to always look at the bright side. Some of my positive self talk includes...tomorrow is a new day and pick your battles. You don’t have to have a solution to everything every day. There’s always someone doing it tougher so appreciate the positives in your situation. ... View more

Thanks Tulip, I appreciate your comments. I’m so glad for you and your daughter that she seems to be coming out the other side. I experienced that with my older daughter also and she’s currently doing well. The main difference with her was she went to a psychologist. She finally connected with one she liked and this was a big help. I’ll keep working on that with my younger one. One day at a time.  ... View more

Hi No_Idea, I’m in Australia, not sure where you are based but where I am we have an Open Access college which is run by the Education Department. Normally the child’s local school refers them however my child had stopped attending due to her severe anxiety so I contacted them myself. I keep in close communication with them and know when /if she misses lessons. It’s run like a virtual classroom. They log in to attend. If they don’t log in I receive a message. It’s be good for her however a big downside is the loss of social connection to peers. Knowing what I know now, I would have pushed her into maintaining sport and other interests but at the time her anxiety was so high she didn’t have the energy to do any of it. ... View more

Hi No_idea,       My daughter is 16 and since the age of 13 has had very similar issues which turned out to be caused by severe anxiety and now social anxiety. Often when her anxiety levels are very high she is verbally aggressive. It’s not her , it’s her anxiety that causes her to be very short tempered and snappy. Do you think your son may be struggling with anxiety?      My daughter is a perfectionist and most of her anxiety stems from homework, assignments and functioning during class. She left school in year 8 and studies online. This has helped her stress levels but hasn’t resolved the issues completely as she overworks all assignments. Good on you for seeking help. It’s not something you can manage alone. ... View more

Hi taokat,      It’s great to hear that you are finding time to keep yourself strong through this. I hope your daughter finds the help that she needs. Your feelings/concerns about how things will pan out when your daughter comes home are very understandable. It’s so important that you don’t try to manage it all on your own. Sometimes we can’t manage our beautiful girls all on our own and we need to be willing to ask for help. Good on you for doing just that. ❤️ ... View more

Hi,    Thanks for replying. Psychologist has helped by giving me reassurance that I’m handling the situation in the right way, reminding me to give her at least 20 minutes to recover from a meltdown before really engaging with her, as when she is in peak flight/fight mode she’s virtually in auto-pilot and not really taking in anything said to her, so trying distraction prior to her getting too high or once in that zone, trying to leave her to settle by just sitting with her quietly etc. While she is unwilling to seek help, I just do the best I can. It just helps to talk to others facing a similar problem sometimes. Just have to focus on the positives...she’s very driven to achieve academically despite her difficulties in getting past the anxietyat present, she’s reasonably healthy and I believe she will get there eventually. Just take one day at a time. ... View more

Hi,   if by web chat you mean a Skype type session, she won’t agree to that and won’t use the phone other than to talk to immediate family. She is very reluctant to talk to anyone other than myself. She doesn’t talk to her teachers when she’s doing online education, she will occasionally text chat to them but rarely which makes things difficult. I think she may be on the ASD spectrum however apart from a screening form which is currently being reviewed, she will not agree to a formal assessment. She has not face to face friends but has made a few friends online due a common fan group of Harry Styles. I’m seeing a psychologist who is working with me to work with her. This has progressed since end of year 7.  ... View more