Hi @MI_g9, I’m so sorry that you’re going through this. I know exactly how you feel as I went through it earlier this year. My ex and I separated 2 years ago and have joint custody. My daughter chose to live with her father without telling me or explaining her decision. I was utterly heartbroken. My ex and I had an excellent relationship up until that point. However, I have always been the disciplinarian and he has always just let her do what she wanted. When it happened, like you, I was in shock and overcome by sadness. I reached out to friends and a counselor to help me navigate that situation. Everyone also told me that she would come back but given she was 16, I doubted that and just had to grieve and move on. I did text her once or twice a week to see how she was and tell her I loved her. For two months, she never responded, which was devastating, and then out of the blue she started making an effort. I think she didn’t want to admit she made a mistake and was also testing the waters with me. In the end, after 2 1/2 months with her dad, she moved back in with me. Turns out Dad wasn’t as perfect as she thought he was and having ultimate freedom wasn’t what it was cracked up to be. She is now with me permanently and our relationship is amazing and stronger than ever. She still sees her dad once or twice a week for dinner but their relationship is quite strained. The best advice that was given to me was to continue to let your son know you love him and support him and that he will always have a home with you. Kids are incredibly smart and will figure things out for themselves. You can still have a positive loving relationship regardless of where your son is living. The other advice that was very helpful was to take care of myself. I truly feel for you and hope you and your son find a way to work this out so that you’re both happy.
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