Hi I think you and your husband have positive intentions in teaching your daughter about managing her finances by paying board now that she is working full time. You’re both requesting a realistic and reasonable board amount from her. I feel your frustration and agree with the advice provided by others on this forum. For instance, the timing of when to have a conversation with your daughter regarding her finances and her refusal to commit to paying board. Maybe schedule a suitable time with her to discuss this and before you start, ease into the conversation by setting some simple ground rules for yourself and her to prevent her going off the handle.... For instance ... - Avoid lecturing. Teens generally don’t like to hear how things used to be or how you think they should be—and may tune out. • Don’t act as if you have all the answers. Ask your daughter for her ideas on how to handle situation. This shows you value your teen’s thoughts and opinions. • Keep any judgmental thoughts to your- self. • Stick with the subject at hand. • Each person to talk without inter- ruption until they get their the point across. It may take your daughter a few minutes to state what is really on her mind. • Each person to remain calm • Listen and be respectful to each other’s point of view, even if you don’t agree with it. • Goal is to reach a mutual agreement • Once this occurs, maybe have a written agreement for both you and her sign off on. If she still resists to pay board, you may need to take affirmative action, show a bit of ‘tough love’ and perhaps consider ceasing her monthly mobile bill or car insurance payments. It’s not going to be easy to reach mutual decisions, I hope this helps and all the best. Let us know how you go.
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Thanks Jess for bringing up such an important topic ... I feel it’s so important to connect and be in tune with my teenage children aged 18, 16 and 14 at this critical period in their life where they can be easily overwhelmed by so many pressures. I enjoy staying fit, the outdoors and appreciate nature so I walk daily as it clears the mind ... so I encourage and welcome my children to join me and do the same. Most weekends we go on nature walks snd during the walks we relax, laugh, and talk (or not at times) about the simple things in life. And since we’re in a serene and peaceful environment, I take the opportunity to make them aware of their surroundings, environment, circumstances, focus on enjoying the moment and appreciate one another. My moto for my children is have an attitude of gratitude and all shall be fine!
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