Hi I think you and your husband have positive intentions in teaching your daughter about managing her finances by paying board now that she is working full time. You’re both requesting a realistic and reasonable board amount from her. I feel your frustration and agree with the advice provided by others on this forum. For instance, the timing of when to have a conversation with your daughter regarding her finances and her refusal to commit to paying board. Maybe schedule a suitable time with her to discuss this and before you start, ease into the conversation by setting some simple ground rules for yourself and her to prevent her going off the handle.... For instance ... - Avoid lecturing. Teens generally don’t like to hear how things used to be or how you think they should be—and may tune out. • Don’t act as if you have all the answers. Ask your daughter for her ideas on how to handle situation. This shows you value your teen’s thoughts and opinions. • Keep any judgmental thoughts to your- self. • Stick with the subject at hand. • Each person to talk without inter- ruption until they get their the point across. It may take your daughter a few minutes to state what is really on her mind. • Each person to remain calm • Listen and be respectful to each other’s point of view, even if you don’t agree with it. • Goal is to reach a mutual agreement • Once this occurs, maybe have a written agreement for both you and her sign off on. If she still resists to pay board, you may need to take affirmative action, show a bit of ‘tough love’ and perhaps consider ceasing her monthly mobile bill or car insurance payments. It’s not going to be easy to reach mutual decisions, I hope this helps and all the best. Let us know how you go.
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Thankfully I have a good regime with my daughter for Mindful moments; 1. - Every Day we walk home from school - taking a different path home - so as to enjoy the sounds and scenery of the parks and streets - nature around us. - It's amazing we take almost 1 hour to get home - taking time to smell roses- check out bees - feed the ducks - and chase butterflies. 2. Every Sunday after church we always go to our favorite gelare's and just share a banana boat:) then we are off to the beach or park whichever she likes - I try and spend as much - Free time just enjoying and celebrating her. In turn she gives me the best cuddles ever. What else does a mother need:) 3. Bed times - we spend a record 30minutes everyday - reading a story - then imagining the characters - I find this especially helps my daughters language and imagination as she is ESL - English is her second language. I make it only half an hour which 10 minutes we read 2 pages - then 20 minutes we imagine, create, forecast. What might happen next - its amazing what narratives she comes up with. Still in the Make believe and fantasy play stage:)
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