Many people have been supportive of my D coming out but not everyone has been accepting of her. To be honest I was completely stunned myself at first. Many people say that it is no surprise when their child comes out, because they had always suspected it, but that wasn't the case for me. I had known that my D was struggling badly, but had focussed on dealing with the anorexia, because it was life threatening. It is a whole whirlwind of emotions that I went through, luckily I was relatively calm when she told me and was able to say something appropriately loving, but after that I felt shocked, numb, like someone had kicked me in the stomach, worried, anxious, embarrased even. But in the background I was aware that my daughter had been dealing with all of this by herself for years, and the idea of that lonely confusion and suffering just about broke my heart, and I realised that this was her story, and that my job as her parent was to love her unconditionally and support her. I can't undo the pain she has been through, but I can be on her side now. So really I can't judge others who do not understand what it is like to have a different sexual orientation BUT kindness and compassion does not require total understanding, and we owe all people kindness and compassion. I'm also learning to appreciate the amazing and tallented daughter that I have....a daughter to be proud of.
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Great suggestion @Kalis.
I also learnt about the approach of asking questions that make them think and recollect their day, like your friend does. Asking things like:
"what made you laugh today?"
"what scared you?"
"what inspired you?"
and a really good one is
"if you could go back, what would you do differently?"
This can really open up the conversation.
Would this be an approach you could use to check in with your son to see how he's going each day @hippychick ?
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I agree @Mumofthree, you've handled it well and it's fab that you've got such an open line of communication going with your daughter. I'm surprised that she was even able to get on Tinder, given that you need to be 18 and it takes your age from Facebook. There are other ways to make peer connections, like volunteering or sports for example. They might be a bit "dorkier", but at least are age-appropriate.
It used to be that you read your Dad's stash of dirty magazines when you were starting to explore your own sexuality, but those days are long gone. After all, we're chatting on a forum and kids usually way ahead of us with technology. I was surprised to learn that a lot of teens have their first "sexual experience" online now. Sounds like you've got the safety aspect covered, which is the most important thing.
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