It's certainly taken off!   It seems like harmless fun to me, and can only be better than playing video games at home alone.   Though I've got to say I'm just waiting for someone to fall into a manhole or get hit by a truck. ... View more

I'm with @Sophie-RO     My girls are now 18 & 19.  Miss 18 hasn't got her licence, but Miss 19 got hers the day she could.  Now that you have to do 120 hours before you sit the test, and there is zero tolerance for alcohol, I'm okay with them driving around with P platers.  They can't drive at night with more than one passenger, and one mistake and they lose their licence.   For the first few months, I wouldn't let them go on long trips (say more than an hour) with P platers.  Now Miss 19 is driving from Sydney to Byron Bay later in the month with some friends, and I'm ok with that.     ... View more

Hi @twentyfive.  Welcome aboard.   Kids can just be dicks sometimes can't they!  I've got girls, so probably not as full on as boys, but they can still wind each other up.  15 is at that age where they are really trying to make sense of becoming an adult, and it sounds like that is involving him being a shit to his little brother.   I reckon I'd be threatening to withdraw his internet privileges unless he can share with 12, or afford his own internet connection!  If you do threaten, you really need to be willing to follow through.   Good luck!     ... View more

Hi @Ben-RO.  This is a really well written and valid piece.  I've been lucky that my kids haven't had any mental illness issues, but I have, and my experiences were pretty similar to this persons.   My mum was an amazing parent, but when it became apparent that I was unwell, she just did not now how to react, and she had no idea what was helpful, and what wasn't.  Awareness of mental health has come a long way in the last 25 years or so, but nobody can assume or expect any parent to have all the answers.  If something doesn't feel right about your kid, there are lots of resources, and places to turn.  RO parents is a really great place to start.   ... View more

That's a great read @HalleysComet.  Thank you.  Having just had two kids do HSC two years in a row, I reckon it's spot on. ... View more

Hey @Mitzi.  Not too strict, not too permissive.  Spot on I reckon.  And the fact that he respects it just reinforces that you are on the money.   ... View more

@Poppa_bear I agree re the taxi.  Just a few weeks ago I had a very drunk 17 yo call me at midnight totally smashed asking if I could pick her up.  Whilst I wasn't happy she was smashed, at the same time I was really proud that at 17 she thought she could call me and I would be there for her without judging.  (until the next day at least)   ... View more

"they just need to be there"   It sounds simple, but I think that is such an important part of being  dad to a teenager.  Just being around, and being available as much as possible. ... View more

In my mind there is only one good thing about winter, and that's the Sydney Swans! ... View more

Hi @Murgatroyd.  I'm definitely a nightowl as well.     i think the main thing is knowing how much sleep he is getting, rather than the hours in which he gets that sleep. If he's getting somewhere between 7 & 10 hours a night, I would think that's fairly normal for a teenager.  If he's sleeping more than that, it's worth starting to look at possible other symptoms of depression - lack of motivation, feelings of helplessness, appetite or weight change, loss of interest in things.   I suspect though that he is just staying up really late becuase he can!  But do try to rule out depression. ... View more

Hi there.     I think you should always be optimistic about your kids    I think you're spot in.  It will be hard for him to take it slowly, but it's really important, and you can only keep reminding him that.     ... View more

I'm with you @MeJane.  Binge-watching with your teens could actually be really healthy.  I find that any kind of shared experiences with teens is really important, and valued by them.  And that can be as simple as just hanging out and watching TV. ... View more

That's really interesting.  Both myself and my kids are definitely guilty of a bit of binge watching on Netflix!   I'd like to see more research - I'm not sure that I buy this. ... View more

I tried offering our kids alcohol at home - just a glass of wine - at around 15 / 16.  They were not interested at all, and still now don't want to drink with us ever.  But I know they both like a drink with their friends! ... View more

Good question!   Saying 'don't drink becuase it can effect your brain' is not going to work!  Teenagers are going to try things - alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, taking risks.  It's part of being a teenager and working out their own boundaries.  As a father to an 18yo and a 19yo, just outright saying 'no' has never worked.  You need to try to have a conversation where you explain what the risks and the downsides are.  That you might make a dick of yourself and throw up all over that girl / boy that you like etc etc.  And don't pretend that being a but drunk sometimes isn't ok.  And don't be a hypocrite by having this conversation when you're smashed!   I've always found with my girls, the best results from these conversations happens when both of us are as honest as possible, and I treat them like the young adults that they are.     ... View more

I'm with @HalleysComet.  I don't think bullying is ever ok, whether physical or verbal. ... View more

What a heart breaking story @CareBear  It sounds like you've been in a really tough situation.  Well done for looking after your boy despite the hard circumstances. ... View more

Thanks for sharing @CareBear.  Some really good advice. ... View more

Hey @ziggystarmum - getting through the HSC is tough at the best of times.  We've just done two years in a row with our girls, and there was a lot of stress!!  But we got there.  And then there's a strange combined feeling of relief and loss at your kids becoming full blown adults.   I really hope he re-considers some counselling.  I'm sure there are some great techniques he can learn to help him cope.   Good luck! ... View more

@Sophie-RO strangely, I was the other way around.  I enjoyed school, and did well, but once I got to Uni, it just didn't work for me, and I stopped and started for a few years.  Iin hindsight, it was when depression first hit me, but I just wasn't aware of what it was, and when I tried to get help, it just wasn't there.  We have come so far in dealing with mental health issues, but still have a hell of a long way to go. ... View more

Spot on @tenacious_dad & @Mitzi     Technology is a tool, and it is huge part of how our kids conduct their relationships.  And as parents we want to help them learn how to form healthy relationships.  Having draconian screen time rules is only going be counter productive to this. ... View more

Not that this helps, but there was a while where one of my daughters didn't seem to ever want to be home.  After a bit of probing, it turned out to be because we didn't have a swimming pool! ... View more

Great advice @Sophie-RO & @Mitzi   This song is a beauty about someone standing by & watching someone being bullied, and then regretting it years later.   ... View more

Hi @MeJane   Sounds like you have a normal teenager!   I found as they hit their teen years, the communication between us changed.  They wanted to keep more to themselves, and not share everything as they did when they were younger.  It's about them becoming their own people and is totally normal.   I think it's important that they know that you are there and available to them.  Don't take it personally! Let them know you're there and willing to talk when they want to.   Let us know how you go. ... View more

'Balance' is the key.  But one person's balance is different to another's.   Our girls do spend a lot of time on their laptops / iphones.  But it is how this generation communicate, so be too controlling can harm their social relationships, which of course are everything.   They know that if we ate eating dinner together, everyone places their phones on silent and puts them in a pile on the table.  And that palying with a phone while being spoken to is not acceptable.   Other than that, we're pretty open about screen time. ... View more

Tough question!   The internet is not something that you are going to be able to 'police' forever.  I think it's a good idea to have filters etc (you should be able to set something up in your modem / router so it effects all devices), but the reality is a smart kid will find out a way around it eventually.   Teens will always be curious, and looking to test boundaries.  I believe it's a parent's role to let the teen know when they've hit that boundary, and it sounds lik ethat is exactly what you have done.   You can be certain that she is not the first to watch porn!! ... View more

Hi @Poppa_bear   Firstly, welcome to the forums.  It's great to have you here as one of the first!   It sounds like you're both going through a tough time.  I hope you're doing ok.   Perhaps the aspergers is making it hard for her to read cues from him.     Is she depressed at the moment?  Has she been taking her anti-depressants.  Having been through quite a bunch of different anti-depressants in my time, it can get to a point where one stops working and your dose needs to be changed, or maybe even move to a different medication totally.  It's important to have a good GP with knowledge of mental health, or a psychiatrist, when it comes to getting the medication right.   I'm sure things will get better for you both.  It would be great to hear how you go. ... View more

.... my younger daughter who's today having her 18th birthday party. She's had her ups and downs, but she has turned into a wonderful young adult whom we are incredibly proud of. ... View more