. ... View more

I think this is a good worksheet for preschoolers and can be found here https://wunderkiddy.com/ . ... View more

Being a good father is difficult and requires a lot of effort and sacrifice A father can be any male. It's try that b eing a good father is difficult. My ex, but  worked shift work for several years before getting divorced, but he still a good father. It would be quite difficult to do both at the same time. Saying that you should prioritize yourself and your children What your ex does in her spare time is unimportant. ... View more

@Kmum8 I can hear the grief in your words when you talk about how you never expected this to be your relationship with your daughter when she was younger. It sounds like you're doing whatever you can to hold onto the connection you have by continuing to show her unconditional love and support.  It must take a lot to persevere when things are so difficult and I really feel for you.  Sounds like your daughter isn't open to professional support right now, but do you have anyone you can turn to for support (whether professional or family, friends, etc)?  We're so glad you're reaching out here and connecting with other parents who've been through similar situations.  ... View more

Hi @Dad4good    Thank you for the update. It sounds like a lot has gone on for you over the past few years, and that you're feeling quite concerned over your son.   It is quite natural for parents to worry about their children. It's important to try and remember that as long as you are doing the best you can, then that is all that you can really do. I'm glad to hear that things have improved for him and that your youngest child is mentally well. I think engaging her in psychological treatment was a good precuatiounary measure, to try and maximise the chances that she remains mentally healthy, especially given some of what she has witnessed.    How do you tend to cope with your worry about your son? Do you have any tips to try and manage that at the moment?   Also, just letting you know that I did edit our descriptions of self-harm/suicide out of your post, as they this be triggering to members and is against our community guidelines.  I have replaced them with terms such as 'tried suicide' and 'self harm.' We hope this is okay with you. ... View more

No. Not unless they are trying to remove their self from a bad situation. ... View more

Hey @AmberP, that sounds like a really lovely tradition to have each week. It gives your family the chance to spend time together and chat about the week that has just passed! I love it and think it is important to make time for such things ... View more

First of all you should find the reason first why she behaves this way and only then look for a solution. Perhaps you offended her, or she has accumulated a lot of childhood grievances against you and this is a problem. In this case, it is better to help her find housing and try to improve relations. ... View more

Hi @Justcantcope, Thank you for checking back in with us, and thank you to @Alexendra for following up It sounds like there has been a lot of healing, growth and huge steps forward for your family- this is fantastic to hear! I’m hearing it has been a long road with a lot of love and energy on your part to get your daughter to this point; a real testament to you and your strength as a parent It really gives me, and so many parents reading, hope that things can get better! If you had one piece of advice for other parents who might be going through something similar, what would it be? Thank you again for checking in, brought a big smile to my face to hear how things have improved! ... View more

Thank you @Dad4good ive tried replying much earlier to your message but it wouldn't go through. Theres been an update after deciding that she will still go. The update is that the singer whose concert/ performance it is found out that my daughter had decided by herself not to go and she reached out to her and has organised accommodation and travel to and from venue and airport. So everything has worked out. Thank you so much, really appreciate the reply and I'm so relieved theres this forum to talk about things and ask for advice. ... View more

Hi @DuckAquarium777    Teens can be very mean to others and that can be devastating.  It is quite understandable that if your daughter is feeling unwanted on the court those feelings are extending beyond the court.   Adding to @Dad4good  comment about "introduce her to other things that may be in line with her natural abilities" another option you might be able to consider (Depending on where you live) is have her join a team at a different grade (i.e. C or D grade etc)       ... View more

Hey @Cadbury ,   Arghhh, teenagers can be so **bleep** mean . . . is there potential for her to join another team?   Has she had a conversation with them about why things have changed? I wonder if you role could be in helping her to have that conversation? ... View more

Great response!   I had "the conversation" with my son last year (in actual fact it was a number of conversations . . . its an open door).   Actually, one thing that was a little awkward but I took my son to the supermarket and showed him how to buy condoms (he was running away a lot and so I felt that he needed to know how to access them when not at home). Yes, I even brought carrots and when we got home showed him how to put the condom on.   Such an embarrassing dad . . . .  ... View more

Hi @Dad4good    Obviously the separation was unsettling for them.    In our case, each child had an individual room for themselves in each house which allowed them to have their own space at each home.   Doing this minimized the unsettling that is natural in such a big change.   In our case my ex moved out, and I stayed in the marital home.   By allowing the kids to take stuff from the marital home to their mothers allowed them to keep familiar things with them.    The beds, bedding, furniture etc they had before separation all moved out with them.  So while they "new home" had the "familiar furniture" the "familiar home" had "new furniture"     If they are truly only concerned with excessive switching.. Make the custody week on week off. If that is not acceptable, I wonder anyone talking "main" home is really meaning they should have greater than 50/50 custody.         ... View more

Hi @Dad4good    Obviously the separation was unsettling for them.    In our case, each child had an individual room for themselves in each house which allowed them to have their own space at each home.   Doing this minimized the unsettling that is natural in such a big change.   In our case my ex moved out, and I stayed in the marital home.   By allowing the kids to take stuff from the marital home to their mothers allowed them to keep familiar things with them.    The beds, bedding, furniture etc they had before separation all moved out with them.  So while they "new home" had the "familiar furniture" the "familiar home" had "new furniture"     If they are truly only concerned with excessive switching.. Make the custody week on week off. If that is not acceptable, I wonder anyone talking "main" home is really meaning they should have greater than 50/50 custody.         ... View more

Hey @mrskode    Thanks for sharing with us here on ReachOut. It's great that you're reaching out during times of stress. It must be hard to watch your innocent 8 year old be treated negatively by her older sister. Can I ask - is this sort of behaviour typical of your 19 year old or is it uncharacteristic of her? If it is an ongoing issue it might be helpful to speak with a child/adolescent psychologist or counselor. Parentline can be a helpful starting point for such services. The number for Parentline may vary depending on what state you're in. This link provides the numbers per state if you are wanting to call.    I like your thought of only returning her presents to her if she apologises to, and does something nice for, her younger sister. Did you end up doing this? If so, how did it go?  ... View more

Hi @Zarazara1 I definitely agree that it's the small steps everyday that lead to big change, and it sounds like there are a few good signs that your son is connecting more, and responding the increase in freedoms/trust you have given him to arrange his day.    I can hear you are making a really big effort to connect with him more on topics he's interested in, like sharing his jokes- this is really great! We definitely share that hope with you that over time, day by day the small steps will combine to see things improving for your family     ... View more

Hi @Justin_T,   How are you going this week? Have you had a chance to look at some of the posts and suggestions from @Dad4good and @PapaBill?   We would love to hear how you are going and talk things through a bit more. Really tough space you are in right now and our community is behind you when you need to chat ... View more

Hey @Stressedmumma15 ,   Thanks for sharing your experiences.   I have been through a similar situation, search: New member . . . HELLO!   Its great to hear that you are using the available services. I think overall they are fantastic (even when your child doesn't want to use them, they can help give us strength).   Last year was really hard, but we have had a massive improvement this year, so things can get better!   We are not entirely out of the woods (past couple of days there's been a return to risky behaviours) but I'm taking this as a "laps" similar to anyone who is trying to make a positive change in life.   I would like to give you some advise (not saying its right for everyone - feel free to disregard!). . .   I used to be very proactive (doing everything I could to try and help him) and then on New Years Eve, I had enough. I decided that I had two other children (younger daughters) who actually wanted my attention, so I focused on them. My son new that I would be there for him, but that it was up to him to seek help.   I'm not sure if it was this change in my behaviour that helped, but it may have. I also think it may have worked only because he had seen me (for the previous 8 months) running myself to exhaustion trying to help him.   Who knows, it may have simply been a maturity thing (things would improve, you simply needed to give it time).   From what you have described with your son, I can completely understand what you are going though. My thoughts are with you and stay strong :)      ... View more

Hey @Papaa ,   It sounds like a really stressful situation. As @Jess1-RO commented, there are others who have been in a similar situation, so thanks for sharing.   Clearly you have the best of intentions for your children, grandchildren and their partners. That's a truly admirable quality :)   Its a hard thing to please everyone. Sometimes its simply not possible, and there is nothing you can do that will seem "right" to everyone. And its particularly difficult when you only one person, among many.   Having boundaries in your house is important, and its great to see you have them in place.   It sounds like the demands on you are tacking their toll, and there is only so much you can take. Have you had a conversation with your kids about this?    Its always difficult when a house is "angry" and everyone feels frustrated. I imagine it would be especially challenging when your not the only adult.   Have you had any positive experiences with any strategies you have tried in the past?   ... View more

Hi @Mrs_DeveroD,   Such a tough position you are in with children on both sides of the world A heartbreaking situation leaving any of them behind.   It sounds like a huge decision ahead of you, do you have a support network around you to help with this decision? You child still in the US, what is his experience like there?    We would love to hear how you are going and see if we can offer more support We are thinking of you through this difficult decision ... View more

Hi @singlemom11 and welcome to ReachOut Parents!   It sounds like a difficult position you are in at the moment. Unfortunately we can't offer financial advice about the mortgage, but we can definitely be a listening ear    How is your child finding living in the new home? You have also mentioned taking on a lot of responsibilities around the house, is this a conversation you have had together?   With so much change these last 6 months, I am wondering what your support system is like outside of your relationship? Do you have any supportive friends or family in your life, and what are their thoughts on the situation?   We are always here to lend an ear  ... View more

Hey @Atlanta,   Yah that is a really difficult situation. When your teenage child doesn't follow the rules (i.e., they refuse to clean up after themselves) it makes it really difficult to parent your younger children.   I still have the household expectations in place (i.e., all my kids are expected to keep their room clean) and if they don't meet those expectation then they lose their electronics (probably not the best parenting approach, but it has been working for a while now).   We have a different situation where our son (the eldest) doesn't want to do the 'extra' chores (e.g., the dishes) because he feels its not fair (why should I do it when they don't). In this scenario I remind him that he is not a child anymore (he has more responsibilities) and that he didn't have to do these extra chores when he was their age. Again, probably not the best parenting approach, but it usually works when I raise it.   Last year my son went off the rails (missing person/drugs/delinquency etc.) and nothing I did had any influence over him. My daughters saw everything and soon realised that I was "relaxing" most of my rules (e.g., keeping your room clean was not even raised, it was more about 'how do we keep him home?'). In this scenario, though, my daughters were mature enough to realise that "he was unreasonable and mum and dad are doing everything they can") and so they didn't complain that things were unfair (well sometimes, but nothing an open conversation didn't fix).      Your situation is really tricky and I would love to hear how others have managed this? ... View more

Hey there @Nikkita, it's been awhile since we last heard from you, how have you been recently?   I'm glad that the strategy from another parent was helpful to you! Did you son end up going to his appointment with the services?    Thinking of you :) ... View more

@PapaBill  @JAKGR8  @compassion @Dad4good  Thank you all so much for your kind words and wishes!    I will miss this community and the wonderful support that goes on  ... View more

Hello! How are you both today @Dad4good and @PapaBill?    @PapaBill do you go camping regularly? Sounds like you are doing the real get amongst nature sort of camping. Great skills for teens to learn too! ... View more

Hi @Dad4good    Thank you so much for making this thread and sharing with us so openly the journey your family have been through. It brings me so much happiness to hear the hope in your words, and the upward trajectory that yours sons recovery is taking.   The hope that you are sharing here is so powerful! For others reading this post who are going through something similar, this says "Things can and do get better". Recovery is a journey and celebrating the wins, no matter how big or small, gives the energy to keep persevering. Very happy for you, your son and your family  ... View more

Hey there @Broken2019,    I'm sorry to hear how difficult things have become between you and your daughters. It is wonderful that you have your boyfriend by your side to help support you. How have things been since you last posted?   Both @Dad4good and @PapaBill have provided some excellent advice. I also wanted to link in this website the National Parent Helpline that has several links to helplines in the United States that may be helpful for you to contact and seek more detailed support for your area.    I hope that things are going alright, we are here to listen :) ... View more

Hey there @Dad4good, how are things going?   Thank you for reaching out and sharing what's been going on in your relationship. It sounds like you've given a lot of thought to what you want to do, and that's great. It can be difficult to move forwards when your partner isn't interested or doesn't take the steps to do so.    Has the family support therapist given you any tips or insight as to how you can approach the situation? While I don't have any experience in separation myself, forums such as Mensline Forums and Healthy Families at Beyond Blue both have spaces to talk specifically about relationship issues, including separation, that may be more helpful for this type of situation. What do you think? ... View more

Hey @What_to_do    I hope you've found a clear path in this situation. I agree with the previous suggestions (not providing money to your daughter that you feel is going to be used for drugs), however I just wanted to respond to your feeling of the "dilemma".   I'm sure all parents can relate with the problem of not knowing what's the "right" answer in some situations. It reminded me of when my son was reported missing and ended up at his girlfriends house. The parents were great, in that they called me to let me know that he was there and so I was able to collect him.   On the way home I took my son into the police station (so they could sight him) however throughout this whole process he was begging me to let him stay with his girlfriend for the night. He was saying that it made him feel better (mental health wasn't good at the time) and that he would just run away again if I didn't drop him back off at her house.   I remember sitting in the police station totally confused. My thoughts were scattered and I couldn't make a clear judgement. I knew that I wasn't coping and so I called my eldest brother. Thankfully he was able to calm me down, and said "Just remember that [name] is not coping at the moment. His thoughts are his 'depression talking' and you need to make the choices for him."   It was weird how it snapped me back into reality. Suddenly, the answer was clear and so I took him back home. For me in the moment, it was a wrestle between "I don't want him running away again" (after all, I just got him back) and "I don't want him thinking he can just use that against me to get what he wants".     Fortunately this was a good lesson for me, in that it showed me that 1) I can lose control of my "rational" brain and, 2) I have a right to step in and make the right choices that are not dictated by a 14 year old who doesn't have the capacity to make good choices.   Oh, and yes, he ran away again . . . ... View more