The situation you explained is awful and one-in-one similar to my experience. Wenn my daughter was 5 she hated to be an elder child in the family. It was so difficult with her... I don't remember, how we went through it, but one day i realised, that she looks toys and clothing in a shop for her young brother. Maybe it's not a solution, but try to give your son a responsibility, let him be important in family's life.
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