Hi @PRINCESS2424 , really glad you came to the forum for help with this.  It sounds like such a tough situation. It's clear that you're trying to do the best that you can for your step-daughter, and put in place structure and routine for her. It must be so frustrating to feel that being undone when she stays with her mum.  Having two different homes, with different rules, must be challenging for her too. Have you been able to sit down with all the adults involved, and communicate about a way to collaborate and coordinate the way you all parent, so that it works for everyone? It could be that some of the rules you want in your home, have to be compromised, but so do some of the routines in the other home. Some compromise may have to be reached, but if everyone can get on the same page it will be a lot easier!  Have you also been able to sit down with the 12 year old and ask her what she thinks is a better way for her to live, and why? Maybe giving her some choice and a chance to reflect on the impact of the sugar, etc may be helpful?    Just some ideas - but I'm hoping other parents can jump in with more insight and ideas    ... View more