About Hootbayne
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About Hootbayne
Hootbayne
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3 weeks ago
We have been down this path to a degree, bringing it up with specialists, but they seem to pass the buck between departments as far as I can see. Thanks for everyone's support. Regards Wayne
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3 weeks ago
To be honest and unfortunately not really as far as I am concerned Taylor-RO. Regards Wayne
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3 weeks ago
Am finding this helpful and thank you for your comments. Yes have spoken to boy, he insists that all he wants to do for remainder of his life in to play games. He lives in a most unrealistic world, how he can sit under a sheet on his bed for such long periods is beyond me. His psych report has him at the lower end of intelligence, and part of the problem is that he cannot keep up with others, so the few occasions he does attend school, he disrupts the class by walking around talking to others showing them where he has advanced to on his games. I am sure that the other children's parents would not appreciate how he disrupts the class. My gut feeling has always been that he has ADD or ADHD or something similar, but are continually being told that it is trauma, my thoughts being he would have opened up by now if he really was affected by trauma, but of course I am no expert. Thanks again Wayne
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3 weeks ago
Lan-Ro, I (we) appreciate your comments. There is far more than I have shared, my partner was in a bad relationship, with a mentally abusive (not physically abusive) partner. Finally with assistance they got away, but it did mean they had to leave all their worldly possessions behind (as little as what they had in the first place). There is a lot more but won't go into it now. Many organisations have endeavoured to help. My partner is not strong by nature and finds it easier to let him have access and thus have peace and quiet, but there are no one that agree with this. He became so bad that even she started to take his devices aor turn the internet off. Sadly she tells me today she has made an agreement with him if he goes to school, then he can have the internet until midnight on non school nights, as all she wants him to do is to ghostwrited to school. Some of the things they have shared include breathing techniques, circle of trust, providing her funds to purchase a basketball ring and he was told to go outside when he is angry. She is Asian and although she has been in Australia around 7 years and the boys 5 years, her English is not strong, but recently they have been using interpreters and this has helped her understand what they are saying a little better. The problem there is that the boys now only understand and speak perfect English and she finds it hard communicating when the eldest boy is argumentative. Some of the sessions we have attended have shown us that there are plenty with far worse problems than ours, but my biggest worry is that both boys need to catch up to enable them to take advantage of the chances that are there for them should they so wish. The 13 year old boy is not only sweet, but also never misses school, does well in classes, is loving etc. etc. he loves the town they live in and is in most ways the totally opposite to the elder boy.
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3 weeks ago
Thanks Erin-RO, in some ways I am lucky as I return to the city to work each Monday morning thus leaving my poor partner to face the music. The people we have been seeing have been trying to equip us with how to deal with things as the boy refuses to attend the sessions, so the sessions are a bit back to front, but that is our lot and we deal; with it as best as we can. Thanks for your supportive comments. Regards Wayne
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4 weeks ago
His Jay-RO, thanks for asking, sadly regardless of what we try he remains defiant, yesterday I had cause to turn off just his connection as he continued to scream and use foul language. He has recently suggested I buy a 10 bedroom house and have us at opposite ends of the room so I cannot hear him, then yesterday he was telling me how much he hates me, and was asking why can't we just close doors asking can't I even swear. I would suggest he has lost the plot but if the truth be known he has always been difficult. The people we continue to see continue to tell us he is affected by trauma, but there is not one specialist who has been able to identify what the trauma is. They say just the constant moving around is trauma, but it does seem a stretch that moving a few times would have such a profound impact. He is still telling me that if I do not increase his 4 hour daily limit he will refuse to go to school, but that is simply an excuse as I think he has gotten himself so worked up that he is now too scared to go. If I have any success I will happily share. Cheers Wayne
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4 weeks ago
Thank you Worrisome, I do like your husbands idea re the door, ours is a Government Rental but provided we put it back in the same state as it was it may be worth trying. Appreciate your comments. Regards Wayne
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a month ago
1 Like
Thanks for your comments JAKGR8, I am gathering as much information as I can if I have any success or see anything worth sharing will do. Take care Wayne
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a month ago
Thanks for responding Jess1-RO, I very much appreciate it. All the best Wayne
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a month ago
Thanks sunflowermom, for fear of puttimg in too much information I did not include everything, I was always concerned righty from the start, ours is a rental property and I asked for the connection point to be in the bedroom, but was knocked back being told that it had to be where the telephone point already was. In addition, for the provider we use, they have an app which it enables me to turn it off remotely, but the drawback here is that it turns it off for everyone and is for 4 hours, so I set alarms to wake me and turn it off again, the phone continues to work, which is useful. I will continue to try and like you have said not give up. Thanks again Wayne
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01-22-2019
09:28 PM
Thanks so much Taylor-RO I have a couple of other responses and are going to save them all and try and find a solution of sorts. Take care Wayne (Hootbayne)
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01-22-2019
09:27 PM
1 Like
Thanks so much JA I have a couple of other responses and are going to save them all and try and find a solution of sorts. Take care Wayne (Hootbayne)
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01-22-2019
06:53 PM
While I appreciate this is possibly the most common problem for parents I am seeking more suggestions. My partner has 15 and 13 year old sons, the 15 year old suffers from trauma albeit he has never opened up precisely what the cause was. He sits on his bed with a sheet over his head playing fortnite. His language is abusive, he refuses to come out from his room, urinating and defecating and eating in it. He refused to attend school for the last month. Any rule we put in place is viewed as bullying. What we have done is set rules per device (4 hours a day, which I believe is far too much, but significantly less than in the past). What I am trying to find out is there a way I can set the modem that you need to be close to it to access it, in other words the opposite of what people normally ask when they want stronger internet. I could provide so much more information, but think the important thing for readers to know is that I am 3 and a half hours away and only get to see my partner on Friday, Saturday and Sunday, so while I can be strong she finds it nearly impossible to be tough on her natural son when I am not there. In addition because there were set up in a home for battered women and children we provided many things for them such as televisions in. their rooms, but these too have caused issues and I would like to remove them and have them at least come out to the lounge room. The eldest b oy has no friends whatsoever, is good at sport but refuses to participate. we have seen many experts who have advised us they cannot force the troubled boy to attend and are trying to help us by giving us the tools to deal with him, but we do not seem to be getting anywhere. There is much more, but will see whether I get any responses as this is my first attempt using a chat forum.
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Public Statistics
Date Registered | 01-22-2019 06:30 PM |
Date Last Visited | 3 weeks ago |
Total Messages Posted | 13 |
Total Likes Received | 2 |