I want to address a few elements of you nice people comments
BUT
I also want this post stream to stay on the subject rather than deviate too far!
Once these points have been addressed lets please return to the original topic!
And stick to that original question!
Replies to certain aspects of people's advice.
From Papa Bill “With respect to "Take away all the toy plastic swords and blade form him" I have always thought this doesn't make sense. The world is full of sticks and boys have been using sticks as pretend swords since the bronze age.”
My Reply
An imagined stick can be anything from one moment to the next,
In general have no problems with children imagining a sword to play with.
I draw a distinct difference between playing at having a sword created from a personal imagination,
And a toy that is clearly a sword and nothing else.
Normally I have no issue with toy swords, but in my son's case, I have made an exception.
Because he is not using the plastic sword to pretend to slay dragons and orcs.
(The way he uses too)
He is was
(I might secretly still be)
Using knives and pretend knife to stab bits of scrap and cardboard boxes over and over again in an enraged negative way!
From Papa Bill
Unfortunately, bullying is always going to happen to a certain extent in our world.
You mention your fears of bullying .. what is actually happening to your son?
We are talking about a level of bullying that has made my son make Video Suicide notes!
(That we accidentally found!)
<It might be worth also noting that we are Roman Catholic. I am not saying suicide is any less painful for other families in any way. But it is still worth mentioning for those who might want to consider that if such a thing ever happened, we would not be permitted certain religious rites for our son and that would not make the situation any easier for us!>
We are not talking just run of the mill schoolyard stuff.
He is being isolated and systematically targeted by a large group.
I strongly suspect this started in earnest when he innocently mentions pacifism as a family lifestyle choice.
Obviously, the school is been made fully aware,
So have the police and social services.
He is receiving counselling regularly.
But guess what,
Surprise! Surprise! The system is failing us,
(As it usually does in these sorts of cases)
And official options are limited.
I do not want to resort to homeschooling because I think both his educational social skill development would suffer as a result.
But that is a whole different topic altogether!
But I want this post stream to stay on the subject rather than deviate too far!
SO let’s please stay on topic and stick the original question!
From Papa Bill
I know I have had to come to terms with my father who was believed as long as he put food on the table and hurt the kids regularly that made a good father.
Reply
My personal experience is, unfortunately, a bit darker.
My genetic father
(NOT nice man who later married my Mum. who I took the name of much later!)
Was not just “old fashioned” and merely “out of date”.
He was (as far I aI know still is) a violent Sadistic misogynist that likes hurting women and either did not care (or possibly delighted more) when the mother's children witnessed his cruelty.
When I described my own demons, I really mean phycological Demons, not just unpleasant memories.
I still suffer some serious mental health issues at 46!
I so, very nearly became the same sort of so-called “man” myself!
VERY nearly!
And that is as much as I am comfortable writing about that!
So I will just leave it there.
This post is not really about me,
It is about my Son.
So Again I ask,
Let us please stay on topic and stick the original question!
And whether my pushing of Pacifism might end up doing him more harm than good in this sort of area we live in.
FOR REF: OUR AREA!
(Yes, there is plenty of far worse places the world, like USA city, ghetto <as depicted in the media> But it is still pretty dam awful!)
(5 food banks but only 1 Costa coffee. )
(For the economic reasons, moving is unfortunately NOT an option!)
I am not saying everyone here is a bad person,
But I imagine being a pacifist in a wealthy suburb gets a very different reaction than we get here!
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