i have a four year old daughter and have some issues with her behaviour. She's quite defiant, loves to wake up at 5am is a fussy eater but the real problem behaviour is between her and my wife. What tends to happen on a almost daily basis is my daughter starts to annoy my wife by poking her, generally going out of her way to make her angry. My wife starts to get really angry, then my daughter ends up throwing a huge tantrum and it just ends up being a complete nightmare. Now my daughter never does this with me. We had to move countries because of a family emergency so Im her primary carer whilst my wife works. My daughter tends to throw these horrible tantrums only when my wife is around. Never with me. She's generally well behaved with me and very compliant. The trigger for defiant and tantrums seems to be my wife. Now i was previously married and have a son who is now nearly 18. I had a lot of issues with him when he started school. His school thought he had Aspergers and I had to go to various doctors and never got a clear diagnosis. I'm really stressed thinking I have passed some gene or something onto to my daughter. She's just started school and has had very good reports with zero issues whilst when my son started school it was a total nightmare from day one. I really don't want to start taking my daughter to doctors because with my son nothing was ever resolved and I went private and spent a lot of money. Another thing worth mentioning is if she has a nap in the afternoon and wakes up with Mum home she's wailing and has a massive tantrum. If she has a nap with just me home and wakes up, nothing, she's perfectly ok.
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I was married for twelve years to a very abusive woman. She basically made my life a living hell. She was very controlling, used to fly into rages and scream and shout at me for hours. She was very jealous and possessive. I wasn’t allowed to have any friends She was also a hoarder, lots of OCD types of behaviour and generally a real nightmare. At the start of the relationship she was ok but over time she got progressively worse. I ended up leaving her and moving back to the UK and even then she wouldn’t leave me alone, claiming she was dying of cancer when she wasn’t. What made matters worse is I had a child with her. There were lots of issues with my son. Suspected Asperger’s syndrome. Now I really made a huge effort to help my son. I took him to private doctors for over two years but my ex wife refused to let me get him treatment so his behaviour just escalated. What made matters worse is my son inherited a lot of my ex wife’s abusive behaviours as well. So over time I had two very abusive people making my life a living hell. Twelve years of this made me a complete wreck that I barely survived. I ended up moving back to Australia because I felt so guilty not seeing my son. I am remarried and have a two-year-old daughter. My current wife did not want my son from the previous marriage in our home because initially we both tried very hard to build a relationship with him and provide him a stable home but he was pretty awful to both of us. He hurt my wife and was incredibly abusive to both of us. He stayed with us last year for six weeks and his behaviour was horrendous. He terrorised us in our home. His behaviour was identical to his mothers. He was very aggressive and it was a nightmare because our daughter was only a baby. It got to the stage where we went out and stayed out all day to avoid him. I have tried for years to try and establish a relationship with him but his mother’s erratic behaviour has made it almost impossible. In February of this year I just couldn’t deal with it anymore and cut contact. Because my ex wife was such a nightmare she was unable to find a genuine relationship and started having relationships with Nigerian men. Two of them attempted to scam money out of her and the third one she went there and married him with the intention of bringing him to Australia. The immigration department refused his visa as he is in his 20’s and she’s late fifties. . I have recently found out my ex wife has taken my son to Nigeria to live. I never really agreed to this but the problem was my son wouldn’t be able to live with us. My wife didn’t want him in our home because of his behaviour and was worried for her and my daughter’s safety. I really don’t want to report her to the police, as I fear that if I do this, she will never return to Australia. I am totally racked with guilt and feel totally helpless. I feel so sad and helpless and an utter failure. I know I am suffering PTSD and horrendous anxiety over this and just don’t know what to do. I totally blame my self despite the fact I did everything possible. I feel like a terrible person.
I want to rescue my son from this but my wife does not want him living with us. My ex wife's daughter , my sons sister s trying to help me but she's worried about letting him live with her because of his behaviour.
i just don't know what to do.
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