@Beingme2017! It's ok to be you Controlling or not There will come a time when you let go Maybe through exhaustion Character is built Through lessons in life We don't always LIFE well We are human It's part of our learning To make mistakes Being able to stop Will be possibly when you have given yourself someone else to busy your minds attention creating a other way of being busy or mindful. Allow yourself maybe to simply give into your feelings of control and see what it is which you wish to be holding onto - what do you fear to lose if you simply let go and stopped for a full circle of ones breath. To let go to allow a breath freely taken in and then believe like your breath that you too can let go. Believe the miracle that unci caiously every breath you innately know how to . Can you make this innate subconscious letting go of the breath become a daily practice - one breathe at a time - repeat often and trust that witheach e hale , you are controlling g your letting go into a pathway which will free your ability to be conscious or mindful of where you or who you wish to be each moment. Tread mindfully and walk with your breathe ... allow it as you may allow you to simply be you . ... View more

@Chalker yes good luck with your son ... mines been in his about a year now , comes out for shared care alternate weekends, and alternate Friday night his girlfriend comes gets him and they go to her room.  Yet he's the happiest he's been for 6 months or so now.  I try not to think too far into future and adore the times he comes out for meals, oh and he does come out with family weekly for dinner out for an hour.  I am pleased he is getting lots of rest he sure needs it, doesn't look shattered anymore.  He smiles a bit and likes recently to hang 5 mins or so after dinner, sometimes we sit silently, laugh or watch half a movie, before he smiles and runs.  He's been worse, I am happy he doesn't get so angry gaming anymore, though he's kinda turned nocturnal in the process.  but I know he's working on changing his body clock,  he's take things in his time, theres no rushing him.  He's withdrawn out of school and enrolled into home schooling online on a 10 week trial.  He's been slow to start but does a few hours a week.  overall he feel he just needs me to hold space for him a while and see he's working it out inwardly yet he does know for sure a consistency - is that he knows he is loved and belongs.  Ill write here one day another story of my son  - we are each different - tribe is tribe at end of day.    I do hope I am not being too simple ... I offer yet he's not ready to uptake and I have given him space to fathom....  ... View more

@taokat lol ... love your description - its a singing bowl, some are crystal ... some call those crystal healing bowls.  I have one at home.  I use it as a mindful bell - google Tich Naht Hahn - Mindfulness bell .  absolutely beautiful.  the bell rings into the cosmos <3    actually .. another awesome fact (sorry I think so anyway) is that sleep is considered actually a great meditation!  so we all are able to do it naturally, lets not get hung up on the hows and whys, whens etc ... of them all as I said one of my faves is Yoga Nidra - for those more mainstream google Richard Williams I think it is called 'irest' he has 40 odd downloadable podcasts - I think really its a mainstream version of yoga Nidra broken brown into Ley language lol - my opinion forgive me - yet his books and programmes were designed to assist PTSD in war veterans, - evidence based results.  so good that it would work for I think any PTSD, anxiety,... personally yoga Nidra is my friend lol and mindfulness (aka awareness in the moment fully of an activity be it breathing, washing up, standing, walking, eating, and the list goes on) ...    ... View more

@taokat yogic sleep is real!!!!  I adore it and find it one of the best and my all time fave ... however, you don't actually sleep but 30 mins quality practice is said to surmount to 3 hours real time sleep!!!!!  can you see why I like it !  many times it has got me outa a hole lol ... its called Yoga Nidra ..   ... View more

@Debbr29 on another note ... a 16 yr old needs parental permissions for significant major life decisions, home, school, job and health.  Writing also to acknowledge his choices in these areas, and his new found growth of taking responsibility of self so early in his - offer the olive branch if he has any needs not met, and also to keep open the understanding you have of his life and the wish to be in the know even of address, school, employer and health as I am sure you have already.   Distance parenting is  challenge for sure, if you could change you would, if you cannot bring your strength to keep you and yours as balanced as you can, keeping the home fires burning - he's not forgotten, he is still loved.   ... View more

@Debbr29 I am reading your posts and replies and ... hear your pain and feeling of hopelessness of the situation.  I also hear your care and love of your son after the fight which appears to have had distressing consequences for you.  I can offer no advice other than the letters/email/text/privtae social media/ whichever your son uses - to tell him regularly the same, tell him stories of what is happening in your families lives too - keep the lines open if only from your side.  Yes nothing wrong that he knows you love him, and he's welcome to visit, contact when he is ready.  A parents love is unconditional and situations test us with keeping present with this, our strength is in our humbleness to forever LOVE.  Rights and wrongs exist as judgements, no meaning to offend believe me, keep the love open and communication be it one sided.  There may be a moment in the future where contact is made, wouldn't it be great for your son to feel no matter the past that he has a place of belonging in his tribe still.   I cannot imagine the hurt you and yours feel, also being in touch here is a great release for ways to cope, to vent and to simply have a place of being heard from many from lived experiences.  My heart is with you ...  dare I say I adore the idea of mediation relationships Australia and lots of church based programmes exist, even if sending an olive branch to your son together with updates from your tribe, he will feel the love he has still ... a distant connection to home.  I wish you well .    ... View more

@taokat lessen the time that you practise mindfulness e.g. one minute three times a day ?     ... View more

@Lily17 a scan reading of the latest on mindfulness and I read the some fall asleep and / or feel exhausted.  This is a common experience and response ... why because being mindful you possible are exhausted and have taken time to simply be - hence also the falling asleep - the busy persons usual response to doing nothing and simply being.  When one practices regular mindfulness the exhaustion leaves and the person becomes energised and there is an ability not to fall asleep.  It also depends on the time of day or night and lighting and / or music played.  Falling asleep is simply cured initially by reducing time of mindfulness and increasing its frequency.  I am living evidence of its effectiveness and revitalising powers presently going through a challenging period, those that know will understand, home schooling, psychologists, psychiatrists, further diagnosis, legal appointments, jp and filing urgent court action again :(. without yoga and mindfulness I simply could not be.   ... View more

@Lily17 a scan reading of the latest on mindfulness and I read the some fall asleep and / or feel exhausted.  This is a common experience and response ... why because being mindful you possible are exhausted and have taken time to simply be - hence also the falling asleep - the busy persons usual response to doing nothing and simply being.  When one practices regular mindfulness the exhaustion leaves and the person becomes energised and there is an ability not to fall asleep.  It also depends on the time of day or night and lighting and / or music played.  Falling asleep is simply cured initially by reducing time of mindfulness and increasing its frequency.  I am living evidence of its effectiveness and revitalising powers presently going through a challenging period, those that know will understand, home schooling, psychologists, psychiatrists, further diagnosis, legal appointments, jp and filing urgent court action again :(. without yoga and mindfulness I simply could not be.   ... View more

Hi @Solly62 An amazing space here to get things off your chest hey!  And in that process others relate and we teach each other strategies, tolerance, love , compassion and understanding of many things.  I read the thread tonight and wondered how things are going?  I hear you on many levels about doing NOTHING and just how frustrating that can be.  We are all different and capable of many different things, some are not able too.  I wondered if there was one thing that was important to you which could be worked on together with your partner.  It sounds like you have a good relationship, its never easy with a SN child let alone a blended family on top of that.  There's much I have to let go - wishing i had a magic wand to 'fix' all today.  The journey is a slowing one than that for me, if i try to rush my son who believe me does less - it results in a meltdown, anxiety rising, depression rising and a complete shutdown for what seems weeks and then leading to months.  So our journey is a slow one yet in that slowness we together process what it means to be tolerant and compromise , realising our values are maintaining our relationship and we both are trusting and thankful that we can hold space when disappointment arises, as it does.  its hard for others to get it, yet family is always family, despite all the struggles we go through and the value of our family and those special relationships is our priority.  The upgrades comes next, and they do with much compassion and patience surrending to trust and acknowledge challenges and receive blessings for the things which just are magic.  The simple things - like being alive.  In my situation I choose to be thankful my son is in his bedroom, not on the street, he has a passion, even if gaming - he adores it, he has family who wish to support him when he's ready to listen or able and I am blessed that we have the patience and love to accomodate a different pace of life.  So i say gratitude for the reasons we love our families, blessed for our abilities to assist and continue to see the reasons why we choose to support the whole dynamics of being in our tribes and thankful for our hearts, hopes and dreams.   When our children are little developmental milestones seem more achievable even if a few years later, yet as maturer teens these milestones can be more challenging and the delays  more prominent.  But then @Solly62 i just say the absolute obvious hey ... yet you are not alone in the struggles ... looking forward to getting to know you.          ... View more

@Ngaio-RO   wouldn't i just love to join!  However, I am not able - shame.   BUT i will be interested to hear its reception and how others valued the session.   In my world its an absolute saviour home and work  Nameste dear ones - enjoy ! ... View more

@Lily17 I hear you ...  Are both your Teens girls? Age 14 twins, sorry i got confused lol ... I often wonder how we parent at times, and also my friends say the same about my journey ... i let go of the HOW , as I say its the WHY which is my energy to continue and when the answers are not clear its these moments where i learn to love some more unconditionally.  Part of this journey has made me reflect and put myself into the equation some more, if only to be in that position to continue.  I am blessed to have found yoga and mindfulness to assist that journey.  It resonates in the house!!   I was unclear , did you mention what the medication was given to your daughter for?  I hear her achieving A and Bs despite a processing "disorder" and spelling challenges.  It sounds hopeful to achieve academic results however i do feel your wish for the whole child to be supported, is there any diagnosis i wonder?  This certainly would give a starting point for the school to be able to assist further either with applying for funding or structuring an appropriate level of support.   ... View more

@Ngaio-RO Thanks for comments, and not at all, happy to clarify.   My daughter and I have spoken about pronouns, and she is happy to continue as is.  She is questioning and looking at all labels and meanings of gender and sexuality and romance - its quite an enlightening journey of which I am learning much too.  It is actually amazing that she is exploring with space and maturity of how she feels about many things in life and prioritising what is important to her.  Panoromantic asexual ... my daughter just amazes me.   Incidentally we have joined an online group too together but as separate identities and the same advice came through of addressing or clarifying pronouns.   I and my daughter enjoy the freedom of exploring and simply being as we can out of many boxes and the best advice I could give on reflection was to continue to be her amazing self and not bend to others judgements and labels and continue to be on her enlightened path of self choosing without force of others.   So all this opening after viewing some of '13 reasons why'.  Openness and a honest communication without judgement has given our relationship a turbo boost.  My daughter had spoken of being upset and anxious every night by herself at bedtime, wondering things like why am i like this , will i be accepted by mum if i tell her, where is my support were just many thoughts through her mind.  I did notice something was wrong and had tried many ways to be present until she was ready to talk.   i am a lucky and grateful parent for sure.  ... View more

Well , I am still undecided and continue to research binders for my daughter.  The chiropractor wasn't too keen, due to scoliosis and the compression.  Today we found an amazing sports bra, such a better fit and support and actually has some compression in it too - so in the meantime a step forwards and a noticeably happier daughter.    Oh and right now, she's on the phone to her first girlfriend .... who incidentally is two years older.  How life progresses a little faster each day - my daughter is bubbly and was happy to share with me her news whilst on the phone with her new friend ... i am pleased that we are able to share.   ... View more

@chickieDo That's great !  Maybe you could describe a little here how the meditation makes you feel during and then afterwards how it helps you.       ... View more

Thanks Ngaio - the link was so user friendly and I checked the site out , thanks again. ... View more

Thanks Sophi . ... View more

Hi Trapet - yes i hear you! I have often wondered also how, yet let go of the how and focused on the why i do things. The why seems to keep me going, the because i care , because i love , and then because i can and then when the cans becomes challenging - yes the option of stopping a while does seem a challenge but then a necessity before you begin again. It is a different life and lifestyle oi know right?! Yet also one of knowing what is real and what love means. Simple things keep you going, water, healthy food, or a regular meal, some good sleep - these things are possibly the hardest to maintain. To stop and take a breathe literally is the simplest way to refuel ... smiling mind app on the phone ? A one minute meditation ... one step at a time takes you back to your beloved children knowing that you are doing what you can and know it wont always be realistically the outcome you set out to achieve, yet its ok not to be ok all the time. I look forward to getting to know you here xxx ... View more

Hi Chickiedo , welcome to forum and absolutely agree meditation is a great tool to decrease stress and prioritise on the beauty of the present moment. Look forward to meeting you here ... ... View more

Thanks @Sophi-RO @Ngaio-RO - always love the support here.   I have found a good WA site called Living Proud.  I have read quite a lot and read the reach out resources and think that we are doing well talking and are on track.  I am pleased that my daughter has a social circle where they discuss openly too and have come out together, yet my daughter is happy to not tell too many others as she is happy purely being herself.  All early days and no rush - ill be guided by my daughter, she's amazingly awesome and mature - her confidence in being loved has been re affirmed and she's happy to talk bits and pieces everyday and about other life stuff too.  I had never really thought of all the things i am learning presently but one thing is for sure at the moment i think it has bought us closer - funny the talk and watching of 13 reasons why brought about the opportunity to discuss and thats how we started.   I do let my kids know that they can talk about anything and realised that my daughter had wanted to talk for a while and on the day in question she tried 3/4 times to enter the room and say.  She's a brave one, i realise possibly not as much as she that it must have been a hard thing to do, yet she was so relieved that i was accepting and still loved her unconditionally (of course i would - but she didn't know).   I am a great believer in being a guide and providing a safe place for my kids to grow and learn and feel honoured that they can be themselves in whatever form or shape is good with me.  It shows courage and resonates back to me my biggest teaching to them to listen to their hearts and be true following the path of their heart.  WA also has Headspace with a new LGBT plus learning area - exciting.  ... View more

@ hippy chick I hear you on many levels In a world of changing educational options using technology as a medium to soar to new Levels of self learning paced activities with or without prompting from support workers/teachers can open up a students passion again to be cultivating what drives them to find their pathway back to self ... Hoping that purpose of being will unveil . I believes purpose pays holistic worth and can sustain a lifestyle which will suit 21 st century .   Remembering that our student teens are not purely (!) academic machines yet soulful learners of whT their mission is.  Ye sit does tend to take a flip side at times , my son had entered 5 ATAR and a business cert course now he is in a held space at home - no more needed to say.  Our children are adorable of course as they are par too us, maybe just here also to assist a change within them of challenge (having pros and cons).  Challenge to teach us how to communicate to whT is a priority to our relationship(s) and also to teach us how to be also.   they will find their path , it may not be mainstream ... many entrepreneurs often have a different path, and online education or tafe or unis now have adjusted to 21st century employ,net needs and mor eimportantly teens needs or mature student needs.      ... View more

In our house ... home schooling was the solution!  ... View more

@Lily17 My daughter and I chat openly and we both believe that heart comes first as a label .. someone who has heart feeling , ie who they are , someone who can be true to their feelings in their heart however that pathway is.  A journey is not always without its challenges yet i believe our life purpose is to explore our self and what it means to be human.  I have so far learnt that it is important to be.  to be present and mindful of how I feel and be with that to know that however that feeling arises it ha spurpose as it arise from within to be heard, listened to and have trust with acknowledging the feeling will show the lesson.   So I am pleased to live following my heart , if that leads to a feeling of expressing a sexuality of choice then a great human is one who can voice to oneself the freedom which they have to follow their own path.      No doubt people are evolving to trust that this freedom is within their ability and the responsible from that freedom is self care of their true self.  Once this is achieved life is simply authentic.      nothing beats An authentic heart space , intimate connect with self and/ or others, intimacy, love and sex is the icing on that cake ... to have ones cake and eat it !      ... View more

@taokat Absolutely hear ya Though I scan read without attention to all detail towards end ... why - you know oi know same same . We are as humans - collectively we I mean as in billions of us - all here in this planet for purpose , what does it mean to you to be human and how is that connection - it's a two way street right?!! I answer with same always ... LOVE ❤️ We are nothing without it , yes we are scientifically proven 70% water , yet did Dr Emoto not try teach us ... positivity in water (is call that love - and believe one day sciencrific evidence will provide the evidence - they are so so close now - so all there is is love Love is all you need Oops sorry that's a Beatles song But Is not love the most powerful Medicine known to man ! Yes So I send you love As I know u receive the simplest feature of love. Some Some do not as easily and that's ok Dr Red21 (jokes) says up the dose of self love Repeat often U know your heart And listening you have taken time to surrender and trust acknowledging the simplest of support of an online group Reachout.com that is .... maybe you can complete that sentence Mine goes like this ... presently those that understand do And I'll leave for now out the end of that infamous quote. I luv ya I see ya And I hear ya Thanks for sharing (aka caring) Time to reflect for you and your love for self 🙏🏻💕 ... View more

@Torry_Cox Can I ask before I give any tips have u done yoga before ? ... View more

Thanks for asking @Ngaio-RO Small steps, we had a chaplain visit for 30 mins , the home schooling online system had a glitche (lol!) so my son could not log in to anything.  However, we both realise that is life and not the biggest concern or need for concern.   Ending on a high ... it is the most progress made in education for a year so a good start, Rome was not built in a day hey!   Feeling positive !   ... View more

@taokat love that you are taking time for you! ... View more

@Big_Crab Wow I wasn't expecting such a glimmer of hope to finish the year 11 & 12 so soon rather than drag it out ... well done to your daughter that's incredible and a shining example and role model. Thanks for the inspiration. ... View more