Thank you so much Linda for your response.
My daughter had an appointment with a psychiatrist who diagnosed her with ADHD, stopped her antidepressants and put her on ADHD medication. We were both a bit stunned because this was not a problem we had even considered but it seems to have made a big impact on her in a good way. She is currently being a lot kinder to herself and whilst there is a way to go she is at least trying now to help herself. There is a clarity around her thought processes now which was not there before. The self sabotage seems to have eased.
We both have psychologists that assist us however services are limited in our area and it can sometimes be months between appointments and often it is impossible to get help when it is most needed. My daughter doesn’t find her psychologist as helpful as she’d like but changing psychologists may mean an extended wait. He is aware of the circumstances around her father, I’m not sure how he is approaching it though.
I’m hopeful that an accurate diagnosis can target treatments and therapies that feel like a better fit for my daughter so she can achieve her potential and thrive. No one likes to see their child suffering.
Thanks again for your support and advice
... View more
My 17 year old daughter has suffered from depression and anxiety for several years and has been to several psychologists over the years and has been on medication for over a year. It has been just her and I since she was 18 months old as her father had major alcohol and drug issues (probable mental health issues being self medicated) which ended with his sudden death late last year. She always had regular if somewhat complicated contact with him. She is in her final year at school and has had a lot to deal with this past year. My problem is she is sabotaging herself with school and life in general. I have tried everything I can think of to help including conventional and not so conventional therapies. any time now I try to discuss my concerns with her she will state that it is because she is “obviously unwell” and “feels like s**t” and wants to hurt herself. It is as if she has taken herself hostage and if I say the wrong thing she threatens to hurt the hostage. I have tried everything from psychologists/ psychiatrists, medication, hypnosis, massage, chiropractic, meditation, anxiety blankets, everything but she refuses to even entertain simple strategies such as exercise or eating healthier expecting meds to act as a magic wand to make her feel better. The trouble is she also expects to get the marks for university and go to uni next year. I have been told I should stop doing so much for her and she may then understand the natural consequences of her actions (or lack of actions) but she has a way of twisting my concerns to make me the villain “nothing I do is ever good enough” is a common accusation made against me when all I want her to do is pick up her dirty clothes or do her chores (nothing too strenuous). I have been cutting her some slack because of exams but I think she may be taking advantage of me because she hasn’t been studying or doing the limited chores that I really rely on her to do and can’t pick up myself, she also tells lies about having done things (such as feeding the dogs in the morning when I am at work when there is proof that she hasn’t and she is totally unapologetic) I don’t know how to get her to help herself even a little bit and I have run out of ways to help. Is there such a thing as too much support? At what point can you pull back a bit and how do you do it without being made to feel like you are making things worse/ harder for them? What sort of consequences are reasonable? I really don’t know what to do. Any suggestions would be great.
... View more