Hi @Pumkinpie and welcome to the forums - it's great to have you join the community.
I'm so sorry to hear about all your daughter has been going through - it must have been a really stressful and worrying time for you as her parent.
I wanted to let you know that we edited some wording in your post slightly, in line with our community guidelines. I also wanted to let you know that if you'd like to start your own thread, you're very welcome to so please feel free to do that here.
Can I ask how old your daughter is? And does she have access to any professional support (eg. counselling or other support services)? Were you able to report the grooming?
We have some information on our parents website about teenagers and risk taking if you'd like to take a look. There's also some information on our youth website about sex in case it's helpful for your daughter and/or as a conversation starter.
It's such a hard thing to balance when young people want and need to separate and develop their independence, but as their parents we also want and need to ensure their safety.
I really feel for you, but it sounds like you're doing your best to keep the conversation open, supportive and non-judgemental. I think it really says a lot about your relationship that your daughter feels able to talk to you with such honesty.
I'm not sure about your daughter, but I've noticed often my young people can tend to listen more to people they respect who aren't their parents - if that's the case for your daughter, are there any other adults who might be able to mentor and support her at the moment?
Do you have supportive people you can talk to through this as well? It takes a lot of courage to share what's happening and we're here to listen and to support you.
We are also going to email you, so please look out for that.
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Hi @Doobiesmum, I'm sorry to hear that your son has not received any useful support outside of his primary school, can I ask what supports you have tried and if you would like to discuss any other supports?
Thanks for sharing here and highlighting that parents experiencing this are not alone, it is clear on this thread that this is something many parents are managing and we value hearing about your experiences
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Hi Dexter, there is no really parenting book guide we can use as each individual has different personalities. What is good to mine might not be good to yours. However, I would like you to know that basically I am also a nagging mom. A single parent now. There dad used to spoiled them with material things before. He would constantly oppose my decision in favor of what my kids want, notwithstanding if it will be good for them or not. He is competing with me for my kids attention. I have to discuss with him the consequences if the kids grow up not taught on how to be responsible and independent, how they gonna become a problem not only to the family but to the society if proper discipline won't be instilled to them at an early age. I suggested to make the kids feel that we as couple are one in our decision when it comes to their welfare. In cases, never contradict the other in front of the kids, we can talk always talk about it in the absence of the children but never to argue in front of them. There are times that I feel like they my kids are keeping their distance from me because of my nagging. What I did is, I still keep with my rules inside the house but I see to it that I would also be spending quality bonding time with them after the house chores, an hour or two. Along, I would gently explain to them why mommy nags. I would kiss and hug them, making them feel that despite my nagging, I love them so much. I will also cook them food and sometimes I will just get home with an aquarium, a puppy or a pizza, telling them that I have seen their effort to help me and I am giving them what they want as appreciation for being industrious. It was a struggle, but after a year or two, here they are, they have grown to be responsible kids. For a year of my son is taking care of washing the dishes, mopping the floor without complain. My 10 year old daughter knows her regular task and that is to feed the dog, clean the table, refill the water jugs. I show them that I am doing my part of course, I clean the bathroom and bedroom. Planning t surprise them of a pet cat soon, or a buffet dinner outside when this pandemic crises is over, that is how I reward them. I rarely reward them with money.
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