Hi Step families,    I have a step daughter. She stays with us every second weekend and every Wednesday night.    I am having trouble dealing with her behaviour, specifically defiant behaviour followed by comments like "my mum doesn't make me do that" or "my mum says....."   It's very difficult to deal with because there is history of negative behaviour from bio-mum by 'poisoning' her in regards to me and our family. some of the comments in the past have been:  "my mum says you are yucky, but don't worry I think you are nice" "my mum says I don't have to listen to you"  "mum says i only have one home and I only visit here" "mum says I have 2 Daddy's but only one mummy"  "mummy says she will come and pick me up any time I want and i don't have to stay here"    (let me just clarify: my relationship with my partner began after they broke up, in fact we didn't even know each other existed until he was living alone - and i have actually only had one very brief encounter with this woman. Both her and my partner have moved on and are in relationships, and both have another child in the new relationship.)   Communication with my partner and his ex is strictly via text or email.   Any advice on how I can handle my step daughter, without undermining her mother, and hurting our own relationship. It's very difficult given how nasty the ex continues to be?   Just any advice!   Trying hard, getting nowhere!     ... View more