Hi @Jimmy ,
It sounds like a really tough situation with your step-daughter, and I can imagine that hearing her say that you were one of the reasons for her considering suicide must have been a huge shock and really distressing for you. You sound like a really loving and involved stepfather and father, and I can really empathise with the challenges involved in blended families, as a mother who re-partnered and had a second child after many years as a sole parent myself. It's a huge shift in family dynamics, and takes a lot of patience , communication and goodwill from everyone, especially when you hit the teenage years.
It sounds like you and your wife have been really responsive to your step daughter in terms of seeking professional help when she first started self-harming, which is really positive. Is she still seeing her psychologist/ counsellor now?
I'm not sure if you've seen them, but we have quite a lot of resources on our ReachOut Parents page here for parents of kids who've expressed thoughts of suicide. I imagine it must be incredibly scary as a parent to hear a teen expressing those thoughts, and there's some different strategies to try there from ideas of how to have those difficult conversations, to ways to look after yourselves as parents.
We also have a free one to one support service for parents and carers available online, if you'd like to have a chat with a professional to get some more support for yourselves - it can help a lot to talk things through with someone else sometimes. Thoughts of suicide aren't as uncommon as we sometimes think, and the fact that she is being open about what she's feeling to you guys shows that there is a level of trust there.
I also wanted to reassure you that it's unlikely that you are the cause of what she's going through - sometimes it is easy to lash out at people when we are in a lot of pain, especially given the conflict you've described- but you sound like someone who really loves and cares for her.
How are you and your wife feeling today?
... View more