There could be an issue somewhere that is making her feel that way. Is she a product of a broken home? If not, how is your relation to your spouse, is she witnessing violence at home? If all is well at home, try to check how she is doing in school. She might be a victim of bullying. Is she surrounded by multi-talented kids? How does she participate in extra-co in school? Sometimes, they do it because they feel they are less better than the other kids, it is an issue of self-confidence crushed. Good thing that you have asked help from the expert. Anyhow, take time to talk to her always, always be on her side and assure her that you are always willing to listen. From there, she might slowly open up about how she feels. Her thoughts. Been there, my 10-yr old will always say she wanted to commit suicide but she fears God will not like it and she will go to hell, so she would pray for her death instead. There are stages in our lives that we just feel empty and we don't know why. I never ceased giving time talking to her, hug her before she goes to sleep. Then she opens up. Everything that bothers her, her hatred to my nagging, her brothers bullying, my separation to her dad, her hatred to her father. Imagine those things she is carrying all throughout. We were able to overcome it without the help of the professional though, time, love and attention. She is better now than before, not perfectly fine but I have seen improvements. Nothing can beat time and attention given to kids, that is for sure.
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Hi Dexter, there is no really parenting book guide we can use as each individual has different personalities. What is good to mine might not be good to yours. However, I would like you to know that basically I am also a nagging mom. A single parent now. There dad used to spoiled them with material things before. He would constantly oppose my decision in favor of what my kids want, notwithstanding if it will be good for them or not. He is competing with me for my kids attention. I have to discuss with him the consequences if the kids grow up not taught on how to be responsible and independent, how they gonna become a problem not only to the family but to the society if proper discipline won't be instilled to them at an early age. I suggested to make the kids feel that we as couple are one in our decision when it comes to their welfare. In cases, never contradict the other in front of the kids, we can talk always talk about it in the absence of the children but never to argue in front of them. There are times that I feel like they my kids are keeping their distance from me because of my nagging. What I did is, I still keep with my rules inside the house but I see to it that I would also be spending quality bonding time with them after the house chores, an hour or two. Along, I would gently explain to them why mommy nags. I would kiss and hug them, making them feel that despite my nagging, I love them so much. I will also cook them food and sometimes I will just get home with an aquarium, a puppy or a pizza, telling them that I have seen their effort to help me and I am giving them what they want as appreciation for being industrious. It was a struggle, but after a year or two, here they are, they have grown to be responsible kids. For a year of my son is taking care of washing the dishes, mopping the floor without complain. My 10 year old daughter knows her regular task and that is to feed the dog, clean the table, refill the water jugs. I show them that I am doing my part of course, I clean the bathroom and bedroom. Planning t surprise them of a pet cat soon, or a buffet dinner outside when this pandemic crises is over, that is how I reward them. I rarely reward them with money.
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