I so feel you. I found your post looking for help with my 15 and a half year old. Our situation is almost identical - except my husband and I are still together. Her anger is still aimed at me, even when I am just reinforcing things her dad has said. Things came to head a few weeks ago which resulted in me moving into an airbnb for 10 days before I had a complete breakdown. Daughter is now staying at her boyfriends. She was due to come home today but has simply said no I'm not coming. She refuses to believe she has done anything wrong and her response to everything is 'you cannot make me" (usually followed by "I'm not a child". Sorry I have no advice to help - but I just wanted to let you know you are not alone.
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