Thank you for replying! I scream in my car sometimes like a lunatic then start laughing at myself! You hit the nail on the head. Independence with mutual respect. The trouble with my son is that he gets so caught up with his teenage life and caught up in the moment that he makes that decision to give away his ‘grown up’ privilege of an 11pm curfew and declares that he is staying out with my permission or without. He will tell me he is staying at so-and-so’s house but there is no interaction between me and the parents of that teenager whom I don’t know and I am not given his friend’s # either. This makes me uncomfortable. He then stops answering any texts or calls from me. He and his group of friends like to drink a bit and also dabble with marijuana. He also confessed to me that he and his friends took a hit of LSD one night and he didn’t want to come home because they were having fun ‘tripping’! I support independence and teens having fun but I worry about him because this is all not suitable for this age group and could go pear shaped pretty quickly. I feel fortunate that he feels comfortable talking to me about this but at the same time I get paranoid now about giving him pocket money because he might spend it on drugs. I am starting to just let be what will be and pray that he can keep himself safe and will call me if he needs help. Anyway , it’s good that you’re preparing yourself for a few years down the track because you just don’t know. Are you anticipating any issues such as peer pressure? Impulsiveness? ... View more

Thanks for your suggestions. I am going to be helping my son with recreating his bedroom to make it more friend-friendly to encourage him to have friends hang out here. I think he likes exploring other areas of the city and doing so without my consent most likely makes him feel grown-up. I have started to make contact with these new parents and I am slowly getting address details! This forum is so good in that I feel so much less alone with my worries. Sometimes it’s hard when you hear other parents talking about how great their teens are doing in their lives and I am just hanging in there trying to get through this transition. Thx so much. ... View more

I have stopped trying to get my son to comply with anything when it comes to what he is doing or with who and I have stopped trying to get him to be home by curfew. He was just getting nasty if I confronted him. He is over 6 ft tall and is hardly game to be physically forced to stay home. One thing I do control is how much money he gets because then it limits how much alcohol/drugs he can purchase if that is what he is doing. I also send him texts to check in. If he doesn’t respond...I give him a time limit and inform him that I will have no choice but to report him as a missing person to the police (he is 14). I do offer pick-up within a reasonable time frame. I also give him reminders to never hesitate to call 000 if he or his friends get unwell from drugs or excess alcohol. I may sound uncaring but in the end he may well be a person who needs to learn the hard way. I have tried all the removal of privileges and it was ineffective. The phone is for his safety and his social connections which is very important to this age group so I leave him with that. As I type this he has less than 2 hrs before I report him missing as he has stayed at friends all week without my blessing and has stopped replying to my texts! What kind of freedom is your teen seeking? ... View more

My son is almost 15. The last time he made me laugh he was putting on a foreign accent which was spot on! Parenting has become more stressful for me lately as my son exerts his independence and I have been managing this by seeking support from others (work colleagues, school supports and reading about how other parents cope. I must admit, i am really doubting my ability to be a good parent lately.which has been the prompt to ‘reach out’! My best tip for parents with preteens is to brace yourself for the changes. It is a much different world then when you were a teenager. The best thing about weekends is freedom to relax. ... View more