I have 3 children of my own 6,17, and 21. My oldest is disabled. I just got out of a toxic relationship with a man going through a very nasty custody battle. There was accusations of all kinds, harassment, threats and stalking by the child’s mother. Ultimately it ended when he assaulted me a broke my ribs. I was diagnosed with PTSD and was working hard to recover from the trauma. I never wanted to date another man with a child out of fear that it would happen again. Fast forward to now, a year later, still not healed. I have met an amazing man and it has been a whirlwind start. He has moved in with me and we have a gorgeous friendship and relationship. He has two children. Early on I asked if he had any problems with his children’s mother’s and his answer was that everything was good and civil. There was a situation in our home where his son were inappropriate to My youngest son and exposed them selves to him. They are 4 and 5 years older. When I found out about it, I asked that they both be sent back to their mothers for the remained of their one week visit. It was determined that all the boys were being inappropriate and that there was no physical harm. His oldest sons mother and her husband were supportive in addressing it but his younger sons mother cried foul and accuses that my 6 year old made it all up. She had began to withhold access to the child. We were allowed to regain access after a month and this week on, week off access continued for another month. Alas, we were then again denied access. This time the allegation was that his son accused that he was being “beaten” in our home by his father. He allegedly threatened to commit suicide and all of sudden the police and children’s services were involved. There had been no raised voices or raised hands to any child in our home. We were able to regain access again and, of course, there were no findings in what he alleged. His mother has now, yet again, chosen to withhold access alleging that our home is a hostile environment. I can only assume that this child is continuing to make allegations against us. I am at a point, a strong point, where I would like to never have this child in my home or around me or my children again. Obviously, I would expect that his father would chose his son over us. His father is begging on bender knee for me to empathize with his child and believe that it is his solely his child’s mother who is generating this stuff and coaching him along. Although there is likely truth to that, he is a very smart kid and is well aware of how hurtful and damaging his lies are but yet he continues. I have a career that is dependant on me never being accused or convicted of a crime or found to be under investigation for anyone is a vulnerable sector. I could also lose my children to children’s services if his allegations were severe enough to cause them to have concerns about my own children. I am very resentful to my fiancé and really want to break it off to protect my family. My PTSD is triggered and it is landing me in bed more days then I am on my feet. I do not want this child reentering my life or home all the while I do not want to lose my relationship. I actually hate that kid and feel no shame in saying it. Advice?
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